This article's a joke, right?
SOUTH Africa has handed England its successful blueprint on how to beat the Australians.
England will head into the Ashes series with fresh intelligence after Proteas coach Mickey Arthur revealed his game plans for Australian players.
Arthur's team created history in the summer when it became the first South African team to win a Test series on Australian soil.
After again locking horns with Australia in a 2-1 series defeat in South Africa, Arthur has provided England with a dossier and tips on Australian players.
Fresh intelligence? Mickey's plan was in the papers six months ago. Successful blueprint? The summer finished 3-3 with Australia winning the chocolates in Africa.
CRAMP opener Phillip Hughes on the leg side, "because he wants room to slash you through the off side".
Cramp the left-hander, deny him room. Yawn. Who came up with that one? Keppler Wessels?
STACK the slips and bowl wide outside off stump to Ricky Ponting.
Dry lines to Ponting. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
USE Andrew Flintoff to bowl short at Mike Hussey.
Bouncers to Hussey. Shock. And. Snore.
DON'T expect much weakness from Mitchell Johnson apart from "a tendency to get down on himself at times".
We got nothing.
WATCH for Shane Watson.
Bandage Shane Watson, more like.
What a stupid article.