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Tony TEA

For the record, Stokes was very unlucky to be given out.

m0nty

We're getting old. Unlike, surprisingly, the Test team. They just put up the numbers for Test experience in our top order: five in single figures. Tipping that won't be the only time we see that in this post-Ashes rebuild.

Flasheart wins the toss and bats. Predicting a collapso to wake us all up. I feel like a Demons supporter already. #fistedforever

m0nty

Junior has been in the press saying Burns and Khawaja have exactly two Tests to perform or they're outski. It's going to be a long summer.

Tony TEA

It's days like today when I'm happy I can't see the play.

m0nty

Boo-urns has a floppy haircut. I foresee doom.

m0nty

Both openers have had the ball hit their bat as they attempt to leave. Lucky the ball went downwards both times.

m0nty

Last time we opened in a Test in bowler-friendly conditions, after the first hour: 7/33. Today: 0/36. Slight improvement.

Russ

Would argue the Oval was played in bowler friendly conditions. Getting through the first hour is a lottery with this side.

m0nty

Summer of Kidding Ourselves: Electric Boogaloo?

Tony Tea

West Indies were here for the original SOKO, but I'm not yet ready to fold on New Zealand.

Doc Tydon

Wait, what?

I thought this blog went into permanent hiatus and assumed the proprietor had had enough; chucked in the towel in a fit of obstinate ennui commensurate with the obdurate malfeasance of our cricket journalistic overlords and assorted SJW limpets; going on to write his Great Australian Novel, Houellebecq style, taking out the metaphorical tyre iron to the swill of this wide-brown-republic.

Are you back on the turps too?

Tony Tea

Something like that.

Tony Tea

Not the turps, but.

Tony Tea

Southey's injury is the "sting in their balloon," according to Carl Rackeman. #3AW #AUSvNZ

— Tony Tea (@AfterGrogBlog) November 6, 2015
Doc Tydon

Why uz thus fit pug talkung abit whativer that non-cruckut game uz?

Doc Tydon

Should Australia declare now? 65% say no.

Excellent. I say bat in to tomorrow. No, wait...

Ruined.

Smith declares.

Doc Tydon

Should have batted them out of the game till the pitch broke up just like Blacktown, then the Blackcaps would have called the game off in a huff.

Doc Tydon

At 5 for 123 or 123 for 5 as the ABC insists on calling it, Smith seems a tad vindicated.

Carrot

Hello everyone. Happy that you're back, Tones!

Classic case of the Bleck Ceps playing the man and not the ball in that last over from Johnson. There really wasn't much to it, but both Watling and Craig made it look a lot better than it was.

Carrot

Entertaining cricket this morning, and an enterprising approach from New Zealand. We could have a really good series on our hands, here.

Doc Tydon

Really hope this series is a solid thrashing of the kiwis. Really sick of their holier than thou mendacity.

Doc Tydon

What's the pitch prediction for days 4 and 5?

Currently lead by 244. We come out and put on 300+ by lunch tomorrow for a 550 lead. Is the pitch expected to turn? Can't see it getting any better for the quicks in which case it's all down to Lippy in the last innings.

Is this pitch a typical Gabba pitch?

Doc Tydon

Tony Tea @AfterGrogBlog
"Williamson makes Australia bat again" He does? How often has Australia enforced the follow-on recently? #AUSvNZ

There was some chat on nine this morning that Oz rarely enforces follow on anymore. Some good stuff there from 9 but I turned the sound off anyway as there is some drinking and thinking business to be done without the monotony of repeated cliches intervening. I can do that for myself.

In any case, kiwis didn't get to the follow on traget so Williamson didn't make us do anything.

Doc Tydon

One of the kids asked me the other day "What is the Kali Yuga, Dad?" My answer was:

"Depravity is lauded as morality, perversity as natural, good men are declared evil, cowardice is portrayed as honourable."

"Basically m0nty's twitter feed."

Tony Tea

"Is this pitch a typical Gabba pitch?"

It is now. Think back to the 2010 Ashes. Looks like the Banana Benders have a dose of CA's and Nine's flat track disease.

Doc Tydon

Fuck it must feel good to smoke a ball out of the middle of the bat like that.

Well played Joe Burns.

Tony Tea

It is.

Doc Tydon

I'd retire on a shot like that. From the game completely.

Doc Tydon

It is.

Ha ha.

How droll.

I read your autobiography, don't forget.

Tony Tea

Damn. My big fat mouth.

Doc Tydon

Burns is looking fucking flash here. Hate to say it, for superstition's sake, but I hope he gets a ton.

Queenslander!

Tony Tea

4 century opening partnerships in a row. Trent Bridge, Oval, Gabba x 2.

Doc Tydon

Good stat. How much for that to be 8 by the end of this series?

Tony Tea

This is also the first time a team has had two 150 opening partnerships in the same Test

Doc Tydon

Go Joe!

Doc Tydon

Quincesssslander!

(1.09 mark)

Doc Tydon

Addendum, for Cam: Billy Moore (born 7 May 1971 in Tenterfield, New South Wales )[1]

Tony Tea

Big thrill for Joe Burns to make a ton at home on the GABBA in front of a full house of coloured seats.

Doc Tydon

Much lulz.

Well played, Sir!

Doc Tydon

The Quincessslander is a much derided as a mostly repressed homosexual but I would have thought that in this day and age it would have found true expression of its true spirit and have declared itself loud and proud.

Doc Tydon

The quintessential Quincessslander.

Cameronus

Is the cricket on?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYpvlV2T6kw

Doc Tydon

Yes, it is.

How does Joe's ton stack up against the last decade of Watto Lotto, in your opinion?

Tony Tea

From Crooky:

"Burns and Warner are opening for the first time and they have shared partnerships of 161 and 173*," he says. "Hayden/Langer's first three opening stands were 158, 224, 223!!"

Tony Tea

Unlike Watto, Burns does not relentlessly drive the ball straight to fieldsmen.

Doc Tydon

Cricinfo has the lede: "Burns hundred beats Gabba rain" yet has a pic of Kanye Gooserson with the subject: Kane Williamson's 11th Test hundred helped New Zealand to 317 to frustrate Australia on the third day in Brisbane

That site is a wasp's nest of malevolent anglo and multi-racial discontent.

Doc Tydon

WASP's nest.

Doc Tydon

Davey Boy is going all in here.

Doc Tydon

For Davey Boy's imminent ton.

Doc Tydon

Haaaaa haaaa, missed run out, All Blecks.

Doc Tydon

For Richie McCaw falling all over every ruck as the ref looks on in silent aplomb, for Money Bill and his travails throughout every sporting hemisphere seeking mediocority here, he seeks it everywhere, all with the media onside in homoerotic fantasy to make sure it's a grand payday for his Hamas brethren, for every silver fern and every chicken Hei-tiki on the back of every kiwi labourer pretending to work in Syderney, get that double ton up yers!

Why did the Kiwi lunar project fail?


Ran out of scaffolding.

Doc Tydon

Top knock, Joe!

Doc Tydon

Out!

Saving his best for last. Good stuff.

Will we lead by 600 plus by tomorrow lunch?

Doc Tydon

Wait, he spilled it.

No?

Oh well, let's give them that top wicket then and store it up for later.

Doc Tydon

m0nty must be enjoying this, seeing all the non-NSWelshmen amongst then runs.

Doc Tydon

Kiwis beg the refs to end the day's play and the umps agree, there has been too much slaughter here.

Let us rejoin tomorrow and feast upon the carcass of this hackneyed, moralising, sanctimonious, anti-racist, plebeian, south-seas-pom, foe.

Doc Tydon

Tim: "It's funny, you look at the innings of burns and warner and think "wow, what great Test innings" but in the context of the game, they've basically been given an unlimited T20 situation - go for it, because why not? score 40 from 20? that's perfect, you've done your job. Not to belittle it of course, they've shown how to bat with confidence on this pitch, but its really hard to actually compare this second innings to the first. Or to most other Test matches too."

Lulz

Doc Tydon

In theme with your opening, extremely homo-erotic, post: Bill Collins channels Alan Jones

Yet, I agree. Tops movie.

When I first saw it, one night drunk on late night channel 9 TV, I thought to myself: "Fuck. I agree."

Doc Tydon

You know, I love my country, my nation, my people. We Hannagans have been here since 1802 and I know the place from Bankstown to Black Springs as if it were my own personal tune that plays over and over in my brain daily, and I feel the weather, the mood, the slight looks, in my bones.

It's not my country any more, though.

That's ok.

Home is what you make it.

Doc Tydon

I remember back in my days working for the AG's dept and asking for posts elsewhere in which to drink myself silly the warning: "Hay, Hell and Booligal."

I have a two road trips planned for this summer and on the second I am going to vist at last two off them, Hay and Booligal. Maybe I will see hell, but I reckon I have seen that already in Singapore cum Sydney.

Doc Tydon

I hope and pray that the last, listless, lifeless, pathetic breath from my mouth is, on my death-bed as all my relatives swarm around: "I apologise for nothing."

Professor Rosseforp

Good to see the blog back in action. The blog is my main interest in the cricket nowadays, and watching an actual game it barely seems necessary. However, I did watch some on the television set and heard some on the wireless, and heard one commentator talking about centuries at the WACA or the Gabba -- batsmen like to get that "notch in their belt". Now, I know that most belts have notches, but isn't this a phor mixmeta? Gunslingers indicate a kill with a notch on their gun, shepherds count sheep with a notched stick -- batsmen don't even have a belt, and certainly wouldn't put notches in them, would they?

chrisl

Test cricket was cheapened today

Doc Tydon

No. High scoring matches are the making of Test cricket.

For instance: how do you see tomorrow panning out and how much are you prepared to lay on the result?

chrisl

New Zealand is a Sheffield Shield standard team. It's bowlers are medium pace trundlers, Spinner??? doesn't hit the pitch enough to find out.Has one class batsman,
Australia has a very fine bowling attack but it's batsmen are mostly sloggers
There are two teams out there but only one is playing Test cricket

Doc Tydon

Well, I've enjoyed it so far.

Malcolm Knox's article today is a good summary of the Test so far.

As splendid as the batting of Joe Burns, David Warner and Usman Khawaja has been at the Gabba – and Burns' maiden century on Saturday was a two-hour dance of joy – they have only had to face New Zealand bowling.

They're damned if they do and doubly damned if they don't, based on that criteria.

It was impossible to watch Williamson's total domination of high-quality Australian fast bowling in local conditions and not conclude that we were seeing one of the next super batsmen of international cricket.

It was a great knock, considering circumstances, but let's not get carried away, as Martin Crowe and Richard Hadlee seem to have been.

As Washbrook pointed out, and as the Australians showed by applauding Williamson warmly both when he passed his century and when he left the field, runs have a degree-of-difficulty loading. When he was last man out for 140 from 178 balls, five Australian players rushed up to shake his hand or pat his back.

Good to hear. At least we can get over the hurdle of us being the world's biggest bastards who never play in "the spirit of the game".

Bruce

If you take out the 50 over game against the PM's XI, NZ bowlers have taken 11/1648.

And now Southee is cooked.

The summer of cashing in is upon us.

Doc Tydon

Williamson can thank his lucky stars he was never sent to Spanky's school of cricket.

With a name like Kane that'd be waving a red rag to a bull, or exposed arse cheeks to an ephebophile.

Doc Tydon

Need to pick up early wickets to validate the declaration. Otherwise 250 each day is a pretty easy target and the longer it goes the worse for wear our bowlers are.

Doc Tydon

Guptill dropped by Burns.

That's the 1st of this innings.

Tony Tea

Is the weather an issue? Otherwise, what a stupid declaration.

Doc Tydon

80% chance of rain today, 40% tomorrow. Rain not persistent though, just a downpour at some point so it doesn't look like there'll be much time lost.

Kiwis are $67 for the win, Oz $1.07.

Wouldn't mind putting something on the Kiwis.

Doc Tydon

Kiwis have suddenly come in to $51. Someone liked those earlier odds.

Doc Tydon

Kiwis now at $36.

Doc Tydon

Lippy drops Latham.

2nd for this innings.

Kiwis now at $26.

Doc Tydon

Sorry, drops Guptill.

Doc Tydon

Needed that wicket badly. Latham gone.

Doc Tydon

Nice one, Lippy.

Tony Tea

Nice one, Lippy.

Doc Tydon

Smith vindicated on what seemed an absurdly aggressive declaration.

m0nty
m0nty must be enjoying this, seeing all the non-NSWelshmen amongst then runs.

Bit hard to spot them in this team.

I see the Shield match at the SCG had to be called off due to the poor quality of the pitch, denying the Vics what would no doubt have been maximum points. Along with the Blacktown disaster - which is the reason Unzud is so underdun - two makes a trend. The trend is: Cricket NSW, and thus CA, is kidding itself. Billy the Kid and Margot Kidder had a kid at Kidderminster, and it is this summer of kiddy cricket.

The thing that really shits me about NSW sport - arguably at its apotheosis not in cricket but in soccer, where Sydney FC is master at this - is how it treats the entire sport as a zero-sum game, whereby them winning means everyone else loses. There's so little thought about anything outside NSW. It is the conservative mindset converted into sporting ethos. Supply-side sport, with all of the negative connotations that phrase carries that pertain in economics. Rent seekers standing on the shoulders of giants and sucking their blood from the carotid artery.

The Argos report is so much argot. I'm done arguing, I'm coming down with ague just thinking about it.

Doc Tydon

Stop being a racist, m0nt.

Doc Tydon

Btw, Pitch Perfect 2 is playing at Blacktown Hoyts if you're interested in taking the family.

m0nty

New South Welshmen are clearly less evolved from apes than us civilised Victorians. You're just lucky the team of Martin "Jim" Crowe is full of hobbits.

Doc Tydon

Will the Kiwis win "the spirit of cricket award" this Summer?


Former Test players watching from the Gabba stands could not believe when a handful of Black Cap fieldsmen dashed to acknowledge Burns for his flashy innings on Saturday after his debut century was finally brought to an end. The desperation to shake Burns' hand appeared to take precedence over giving the besieged Mark Craig a "well-done" pat, particularly as the off-spinner had endured a shattering match to that point.

When David Warner's second innings pounding was over, care of a misdirected reverse sweep, a shot that almost took the mickey out of the Caps, one fieldsman went well out of his way to shake the batsman's hand as he left the field.

It's all cute and cuddly but this just added to a feeling the Caps were overly nice in the field, even to their own detriment.

Meanwhile, chasing 362 for victory with 7 wickets in hand and a day to play:

"I think it's important he (McCullum) goes out and plays his natural game," said Kiwi opener Tom Latham. "If he goes out and bats for an hour or two we can certainly be a long way to winning the match.

"I think that first hour is going to be massive or us, if the boys can set the platform hopefully late in the day things will happen well for us."

Awww, how cute.

Doc Tydon

You're just lucky...

The cycle is complete. The SJW, full of self-loathing projected outward as hatred against his Blut und Boden, openly declares his hope and desire for his nation's defeat.

You just stick to blogging there, m0nt, and leave the pitch preparation to us.

Doc Tydon

The Summer of Grand Hyperbole:

Doc Tydon

Is New Zealand batsman Kane Williamson better than Don Bradman?

Doc Tydon

There should be a trophy each Summer, joint sponsorship of Fairfax and News Ltd, for the "Better than Don Bradman" award.

Doc Tydon

Williamson looked set for another ton on Sunday before being trapped in front by Lyon.

His 59 off 74 balls was his best strike rate (79.72) in Tests.

Replays showed the ball was heading down the leg-side but just clipping the top of the stumps.

Yeah, that's also known as "out" in cricket parlance.


philsgone

I live in Sydney. I like NSw. So what if we fuck up a couple of pitch preparations. We dont so it on purpose. People dont know incompatence when they see it. And we see it often in NSW

philsgone

Also I have a pinched nerve in my arm so typing is crap. Please forgive.

Tony Tea

Quite so. All the bitching about how Williamson was unlucky (read: dudded) flops in a hole when you realise that the umpire was right. As you say: it's called "out".

Doc Tydon

Philsgone, m0nt's a bit deranged when it comes to NSW so his opinion should be taken with a grain of salt.

Life out on the salt pans of Seymour can reduce even the best of men to mentally ruined rabid dogs and, considering that m0nt is among the worst of type, naturally the decline into foaming at the mouth gibberish has been rapid indeed.

Ever seen those schizophrenics berating parked cars or railing against traffic flows whilst standing in the middle of a 110km/hour dual lane carriageway? Yeah, that's m0nt when it comes to NSW (or any subject come to think of it).

Here's a well balanced article on the SCG pitch for the NSW vs Victoria game.

It concludes:

Trust officials came out in support of groundsman Parker, calling in the second opinion of leading authority on turf, Peter McMaugh, who has consulted at grounds around the country including the MCG, SCG and the WACA.

“There is no reason in my professional opinion why they shouldn’t have been playing today,” said McMaugh.

Also note:

After the abandonment was made, the Blues went out to the middle for centre-wicket practice almost as if to make a point that the surface was fine, however match referee Steve Bernard denied a feeling that the determination conditions were unsafe may have been influenced by Victoria’s reluctance.

Seems to me that one team wanted to play cricket and the other go home in a sulk.

Much like the game at Blacktown: Here's a video report.

I liked the Parramatta Eels clad fan's summary, in all his beer gutted glory:

"Well, they weren't going to get anywhere with 503 chasing that were they?"

m0nt's mate, Skip (lulz) Fernandes, brought up the Chappell underarm incident by way of response. Yes, he knows us well.

Aaron Finch (Victorian I believe) seemed to like the pitch, belting an unbeaten 288.

Unknown to m0nt, praying to his god Gaia for some rain this summer in Seymour, Sydney has been blessed, or cursed (depends on your take), with copious amounts of rain for some time now. The dams are full, the rolling fields are lush green with lucerne, yellow with cannola and the lawns freshly mowed, though a bit soft underfoot.

The only surprising thing here is that m0nt hasn't blamed NSW for global warming/climate change. But I'm sure that's coming soon.

Doc Tydon

Damn, missed the start.

Taylor gone.

Doc Tydon

Excellent bowling, Studsy. Dolly of a catch that Joe can't drop this time.

Doc Tydon

Lippy strikes again!

Doc Tydon

"I think it's important he (McCullum) goes out and plays his natural game,"

Well played, McCullum. Seeya!

Doc Tydon

Breaking News: Pitch rapidly cracking up now. Tom Parker was seen lurking about in the sheds in the early hours this morning with a shovel and fire sticks. Kiwis about to abandon match.

Doc Tydon

Three cheers for Snicko!

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