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Big Ramifications

Anderson to Rodgers. I just watched my first live ball of this series.

Big Ramifications

re: Rogers' SLASH thru the slips cordon. Joe Root didn't wanna know about it. WTF?

Nick

Anderson using the full pitch.

2BarRiff

Warne FFS!!!!

Big Ramifications

Shades of 1 for 430 at Headingly 26 years ago?

[Australia 1 for 238 as I type. Rogers 97, Smith just smashed a six to move to 93.]

Big Ramifications

With both players currently on 103 not out....

Rogers last 9 innings: 595 runs @ 74.38 [7 × 50s, 1 × 100s]
Smith last 16 innings: 1318 runs @ 119.82 [4 × 50s, 6 × 100s]

Carrot

This is the sort of partnership we've owed Engand since 10/11. Not much smash-and-grab, low-risk, steady accumulation. Funny that I should say that when the run-rate is still well north of 3.5 an over, but there we are.

Big Ramifications
Shades of 1 for 430 at Headingly 26 years ago?

[Australia 1 for 238 as I type. Rogers 97, Smith just smashed a six to move to 93.]


Almost stumps, and they've put on over 100 runs since I mozzed them up there^^.

[Australia 1 for 333 as I type. Rogers 155, Smith 129.]

Big Ramifications

Bloody hell. How's my maths?

They've put on almost 100 runs since I mozzed them up there^^.

Big Ramifications

Aaand thankfully remain un-mozzed at stumps. 1 for 337.

Rogers kept it interesting right until the 3rd last ball of the day with a nick that fell just short of first slip, and going for 2 runs to boot!

Tony Tea

Reasonable day at the office. Now we've just got to bowl them out twice.

philsgone

and on this wicket, Lippy will hav eto do the damage agains tall their left handers. I reckon he can.

Tony Tea

Indeed. If we had Warne and McGrath we'd already have this Test in the bag., but now it's time for the current attack to earn its stripes.

Tony Tea

The track offered little hope, a complete contrast with surface prepared for Lord’s Test against New Zealand."

Which was always going to happen if England, cricket's most flagrant pitch doctor, led the series. The ECB: the New York Yacht Club of cricket.

The Mongrel

The Pup follows EPL and he tells me that Chelsea are famous for getting 1-0 up early in the game and then "parking the bus" - putting all their team into defence.

Parking the bus does not fit with the Australian sporting ethos. Not least because it cedes the initiative to the opposition. And gives the advantage to the team that wins the toss.

Serves England right if they get done over in this Test. Depends on the weather probably. Anyone got a forecast?

The Mongrel
If we had Warne and McGrath we'd already have this Test in the bag

That's a bit like saying "If we had ham we could have ham and eggs. If we also had eggs."

Tony Tea

Chelsea & England is a good comparison. Get ahead then shut up shop. If it was possible, England would have called off the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th Tests.

philsgone

17 comments at the end of day 1. Is it just me or is there a severe lack of interest with this series? Too much of an ordinary thing perhaps. If the pitches stay like this, the poms will win 1-0 and we should start playing the Ashes against the kiwis.

Carrot

Philsgone, you've said similar things a couple of times. I don't think it's a lack of interest, I think it's a mixture of the fact that we're doing well - always a precursor for fewer comments, we like to complain on the AGB, we does - and the time zone.

Atherton made a remark last night that he thought that if Australia could get up to the 600 mark that we could really unleash Johnson, and give him license to scare people. That would be interesting to see - is this pitch any more dead than Adelaide '13?

Vindicate

I guess it's a bit of the old cricketing superstition Phil, where you don't move from your seat while a batsman is approaching a century or a record - likewise we don't say good things about our team while they're playing for fear of the mozz.

lou

I thought England bowled poorly in patches. Wood was very ordinary all day, spent some time hurling it in the direction of the slips.

If that was the Aussie bowling with the new ball, scorn would have been heaped from all parts from a great height.

The wicket isn't giving them much, but considering how all of them were down on speed, they were hardly bending their backs.

Broad was the best but he had very wayward patches.

Warner is a goose. His ego got right in the way. My heart sunk when I saw him bat like that as I thought they were all going to chase Ali in a really stupid way but Steve Smith put away dumb strokes and he and Rogers played safe; along the ground, not in the air!

Very nice to see.

2BarRiff

I went to bed at tea time quite happy and was even happier once I saw the result this morning. 1/300-odd is a return to days of (not so) old domination.

Of course, we'll declare for lots at lunch and then England will be 0-200 at stumps ...

Vindicate

We lost 6 wickets for 50 runs in Cardiff, let's not count our chickens n all that....

Tony Tea

There's definitely a bit of mozz at work when we are batting well. You don't want to take any Aussie wickets. But Also the timezone does not help, as Carrot mentioned. Chuck in a bit of Ashes overkill. Sport overkill in general. The family man in me wants to do the righty too. Not the done thing to watch cricket all night. And yes, I love a good whinge when we are going bad.

lou

Ashes is entering overkill territory. Golden goose and all that.

2BarRiff

Can't help thinking that, while the pitch is slow, the English bowlers have been spraying it around a bit and have contributed to their own troubles.

Aaaaaand Rogers gets bowled.

Tony Tea

Could Clarke have batted any worse?

Tony Tea

Sideshow Roy:

Andrew Symonds ‏@Drunk_As_Roy 4m4 minutes ago Nothing more English then this bowling partnership. A ginger Kiwi and a bearded Paki giving their all for their country! #Ashes @ECB_cricket
m0nty

My first session watched in the series, now that it's on the main channel which I actually get. And of course Vogon is out almost immediately.

Come on Second Son of Swamp, don't be a stick in the mud.

m0nty

Ah bloody hell, out to a grubber. I'm going to bed again.

2BarRiff

'umpires Call' seems to be favouring Aust this Test.

Yobbo

So much for a dead pitch.

Carrot

I wanted to write "Mitchell Johnson: Lord's - redemption". But two wickets does not complete redemption make, so I'll say "Mitchell Johnson: Lord's - redemption?" instead, and leave it open to see what happens tomorrow. They put the fucking frighteners amongst the English last night though, it was wonderful to behold. There was a time when it seemed like any delivery could send back not one but two or three of them. All three of our quicks made an impression, both on the scoreboard and psychologically, and it couldn't have been a better start to the English innings if we tried. They might end up passing the follow-on without losing another wicket tomorrow, but there's no question that our bowlers have left their mark on this series. After less than one full session of England batting, the selection question-marks are all England's and none of them Australian, too. Can't wait for tomorrow.

Tony Tea

It was apparent when Australia was batting on the second day that the pitch had picked up a yard. Only Broad was able to exploit it, though. Anderson was pedestrian. Wood was even slower than pedestrian, and maybe should bowl with a little orange flag in his hat.

Ballance looks shit scared.

m0nty

TT has been railing about England doctoring the pitches, but it seems to me that the extent of their doctoring is to make the toss ridiculously important because batting first is such a large advantage, and that they are trying to even the odds by making the series a literal coin-flip.

m0nty

Also, it was pointed out somewhere that Clarke called heads in this test after a career of calling tails... so maybe they had funny weighted coins, and Lemming got wind of it and knew it was going to be heads?

Tony Tea

Yep. And yep.

Big Ramifications

Can any AGBers help me with a question. Ever since Ian Healy's shock selection to the Test squad back in 1988, I've had: "Ian Healey, 3rd string QLD wicket-keeper" seared into my brain.

Before Healy was selected, his team mate Peter Anderson was a shoo in for the gig as the next Australian gloveman. That is until that drunken buffoon Ian Botham, playing Sheffield Shield for QLD, destroyed his career in Perth. Asking Anderson to stand up to the stumps for a session of his bowling, Botham sent thru a fast zinger and he got a pretty bad finger injury.... at THE worst possible time.

If Healy was 3rd string wicket-keeper, I can't think of the name of the other supposed QLD wicket-keeper. So that's my question. Can anyone come up with a name? It was pre-internet browser era so Googling bears little fruit.

At this stage I'm thinking I've remembered it wrong.

Tony Tea

I thought Healy was 2nd string to Anderson, not 3rd.

Big Ramifications

Cheers. The very few references I've found all say that. Plus, you'd think Healy's 6 Sheffield Shield games would be a lot of caps for a 2nd reserve. Therefore I think I'm wrong.

It's just that I vividly recall thinking along the lines of "Wow, 3rd string 'keeper. Lucky man".

It seems a strange thing to mis-remember.

m0nty

Good decision, third ump. No catch.

The Mayblooms of Winter

LIPPY!

The Mayblooms of Winter

Hawthorn and Storm were fairly lucky this weekend to get the win but their long lost son in Nevill has learned how to win by going Blue.

The Mayblooms of Winter

Maureen is the most unwholesome looking Pom I've ever had the displeasure of having to look upon.

m0nty

LOL at Dharmasena. Shake shake nod nod nod.

The Mayblooms of Winter

Cook has that blushing coquettish look of Lady Diana and the rosy, high cheeks to go with.

He's quite the alluring damsel, I must admit.

The Mayblooms of Winter

Maureen has the brusque, dusky aloof disdain that combines so well in it's otherishness. It's like watching Heathcliffe and Cathy playing cricket on a sunny moor.

m0nty

Hazelwood nearly got let in Heathcliffe's window just then.

The Mayblooms of Winter

Maureen's beard angers me. I can't quite put my finger on what it is *exactly* that gives me the irits about it but by God it annoys me.

The Mayblooms of Winter

I agree with Warne. That was an ugly not-out.

Poms have had the rub of the review decisions so far.

The Mayblooms of Winter

FUCK. OFF. COOK!

The Mayblooms of Winter

That was good for a lol. A long walk through the long room.

Big Ramifications

Strangely, I've never bothered to get my head around the DRS laws.... but WHAT IN BLAZES?!! Lyon's referral showed the ball hitting leg stump almost dead centre. So why refer it if that's gonna be the outcome?

m0nty

Malfoy really wants to get out before MJ comes on, doesn't he?

Big Ramifications
Maureen's beard angers me. I can't quite put my finger on what it is *exactly* that gives me the irits about it but by God it annoys me.

Same here! For mine, I think it's the fact he's got a FULL Ned Kelly style beard.... but in reality it's merely a wispy imposter. I wonder if any Aussies have been tempted to sledge him about it. Why the hell not? It looks ridiculous, sticking out and fluttering around under his grille.

Er.... OK, I'll answer my own question. The Aussies would be too scared to because of the likely ramifications. Moeen has an invisible friend in the sky, and he told him to grow that beard. And his invisible friend in the sky is NOT the big boss of the Christian faith.

Therefore xenophobia and bigotry and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Big Ramifications
Lyon's referral showed the ball hitting leg stump almost dead centre.
Correction. The ball got a hefty chunk of leg stump, but not almost dead centre.
The Mayblooms of Winter

I wonder what would Oliver Cromwell have made of Maureen.

Sir Oliver Cromwell

At least he isn't Catholic.

Carrot

I've been really impressed by Ponting's commentary and general input on Sky Sports, and have been surprised a little by the fact that he seems to be a really nice, easy-going guy. He seems to be someone that is pretty at peace with his world, which is not always something you get from ex-sporties behind microphones. A lot of ex-sportsmen are like politicians - they're motivated by power and/or competitiveness and ruthless thirst for success, and when they run out steam they go into retirement angry and bitter that the dream didn't go on as long as it should have. There are good examples of that sitting right next to Ponting in the same com box; it took literally decades for Botham to calm down for instance, and Hussain was angry and one-eyed for years after he took up commentary. Boycott is another good example, and even though Australians of the likes of Taylor, Warne and Healy didn't ever come across as bitter and twisted, they're definitely playing to the gallery and are not really genuine, which is probably why they piss us off so much. Ponting seems to be completely different, completely genuine, and dare I say it, a completely likeable guy in a way that is usually pretty hard to fake.

Tony Tea

Ponting got big wraps for his commentary in the BBL, so it is no surprise that Sky have picked him up. Unfortunately we've been saddled with Nine's mob and don't get Sky on Foxtel. I hope Nine does not make a habit of sending their plonkers on assignment. Even if the overseas networks and commentators are rubbish, a change is as good as a holiday.

The Mongrel

The $64,000 questions are-
* How long will it take to bowl England out on this road and
* What's the weather going to do?

Weather wise it looks like early rain on the fourth day, supposedly clearing. Contrast to St Andrews where the golf has been extended to Monday due to wild weather.

Tony Tea

Once again we'll get to see it Australia has learned to bowl a side out on a road.

Carrot

I read last night that apparently only five teams have successfully batted out a draw when given five sessions to save a game. The weight of statisitcs say that England should be toast. This *is* a road though, and Clarke might even want a bit more on the board than 500, so might bat a little more into the afternoon session depending on how much we get this morning. Any sort of damage with the new ball and we're pretty much home though, you'd think.

Carrot

Botham just made the point that Smith is hitting the ball as though he hadn't left the crease following his double-hundred, and it's true. Is he in really, really good form at the moment, or is he just really, really good? I don't think anyone would have thought that a guy that bats the way he does could be averaging nearly 60 only 30 Tests into his career. The thing is that he's only 26 - players that enjoy this sort of form are usually "mature" players, over 30, a la Clarke a few years ago, but Smith is still relatively new to the game.

Shep

Smith's currently (33*) 99 runs short of 3000 runs in his 58th innings. The list of those who got there in less than 60 innings isn't too bad....
Bradman, Weeks, Sutcliff, Lara, Harvey, Richards, Sobers, Sehwag, Walcott, Compton, Hobbs.

Hopefully he can keep up with that lot for his whole career

Big Ramifications

Ricky chooses Swisse.

Carrot

Jesus - ninepins!

Vindicate

Wow, what a demolition job. Bring on game three please!

Carrot

Incredible turn-around. England were never going to win, but you wouldn't have backed us to bowl them out for 101! There's clearly still a lot of fear for Johnson, and with scoreboard pressure he was all over them. Fantastic performance from him, really - an absolute nothing wicket, worse than Adelaide 2013 as we said, and he still bowled us to victory even though the scorecard will show that the wickets were shared around.

The equivalent English cricket blogs must be very, very dark places right now - they were awful. At no point were they ever in the match.

A short kip

Damn. Fell asleep at lunch and missed everything.

Just like England, by the sounds of it.

lou

My stream worked very well, hoorah.

Mitch Marsh is a good addition to this attack. Bright lad.

Mitch Johnson could have taken another five wickets easily. Jeez, he bowled well this match. Wish the eejits could catch though. That will lose us another match if they keep that shit up.

I think Ben Stokes has cricket's version of the Darwin award sewn up for this series. Terrified of Johnson even when he's fielding at mid-on. It was a great throw.

lou

Carrot,it's exactly what I've been thinking about Punter. You can't fake that humility and lack of bitterness. Also, he's done sterling work on the Third Man desk at Sky. Obvious love for the game and enjoys talking about the ins and outs of batting..

He's be hopeless on Nine as he wants to watch and talk about the game that is on in front of him. I've found Warne even more of a prat in contrast.

Jonathan Agnew has stuck up for Punter on TMS. He has always spoken warmly about him and his affability. But then I think he likes Aussies very much.

John Inverarity spoke about Punter in the highest possible terms while he was selector.

Carrot

Yes, it's a funny thing about Ponting. I think we all probably had the idea from his on-field demeanour that he was a bit of a prick, but he really does seem like a nice guy with a good sense of humour, and actually no small amount of class. He's obviously a real student of the game too which is perfect for good quality commentary, and he complements the other people in the Sky box. Mike Hussey is another that holds him in high regard, apparently he wrote about it in his autobiography. When I heard that I thought he was giving him a bit of a Justin Langer-esque herogram and it probably didn't have much basis in the truth, but I can see where it comes from now.

I find Warne pretty good on Sky. Can't stand him on Nine.

Tony Tea

We can only cross our fingers that Ponting does not get oafed by Nine.

The Mongrel
The equivalent English cricket blogs must be very, very dark places right now

Carrot, dismal is in the eye of the beholder. I find them delightful.

I still have the BBC and Guardian Ashes page in my bookmarks from last series. There's something about the Left of politics that just does despair so much better than the Right, who tend to bluster through.

The BBC Ashes page headline today is Australia Thrash Dismal England.

Are there four more beautiful words in the english language? I think the BBC have a short cut for this headline where they just hit F5.

The Guardian headline is England reflect Lord’s pastel shades beside tooth-and-claw Australia. Nice in its own way, but not quite the snap of the BBC.

Tony Tea

Mong, Carrot will give it the "cricket is better when England plays well" treatment, the poor deluded soul.

m0nty

"Pastel shades"? Is the Guardian calling English cricket gay? Or at least metrosexual. The first par sounds like a review of a Degas painting. Taking the Pisarro.

Guardian journos are too enamoured with the sound of their own clacking keys. Combine that with cricket journos' predilection for flowery circumloquacity, and you get some strongly purple shades in their writing.

As for the cricket, would need to see a full replay to be sure, but it was very pleasing to see Johnson get wicked swing, because that means he's bowling properly to add to the aggression that he has regained post-Hughes.

Tony Tea

The one question I need answered is did Jimmy Anderson invite the Aussies in for a drink?

Tony Tea

The first sentence:

On a day of ephemeral passing cloud and ephemeral passing English batsmen Lord’s had one of its emerald-green days, the sun winking in and out, drawing its shadow down across the grass like a watercolour wash.

is Peak Guardian.

No point reading after that flannel.

Blarney Ronay

How dare you criticise my circumcision.

philsgone

The most disappointing thing about the first test, apart from our performance, is declining the invite to have a beer with the poms. This was weak on Clark's behal;f. We were outplayed so let them enjoy it. We flogged them at Lords, so send the invite and hope they come. I hope they did. There is a better spirit in these games, or so it appears. Cook checking on Buck when he went down. Good Mitch hitting Broad with a throw then putting his arm up. Tough, hard yet not all the mean spirit. We play better in that mood, and I think it suits us.

philsgone

Also best team bowling for a good while, wickets shared, pressure all the time from both ends, great effort. And no sign of niggles, another key aspect of success

The Mongrel
There's something about the Left of politics that just does despair so much better than the Right, who tend to bluster through.

On inspection, I take that comment back.

The Daily Mail and Telegraph are if anything tougher on the poms than the Guardian is. Love the photomontage of dejected England batsmen in the Daily Mail.

As for the Guardian, I can see where Spanky Roebuck learned his writing style. England are described as "invertebrate." I think that means "spineless." Never use two syllables when three will do.

Carrot

Ha ha, Tones - no! I thoroughly enjoyed this Test. Redemption all round - for Cardiff, for Lord's after 2005 and 2009, and for Johnson who completely lost it last time he was there.

Hope Rogers recovers ok, though. I have suffered dizzy spells myself when playing sport. It's a helluva disconcerting thing! For me it's usually dehydration, although you'd think Rogers would have that covered.

Tony Tea

Boycott:

“The England captain says that this pitch was not made especially slow to negate Mitchell Johnson and Mitchell Starc. Privately, we have information to the contrary. The request might not have come from Cook himself; I believe it came from higher up … England are so worried about the Australian fast bowlers that we have made our own pair innocuous.

“If you ask for slow pitches to tame the Aussie fast bowlers, then you are immediately betraying your own insecurities about facing them. It is contradictory, and belies all England’s talk about playing positive, attacking cricket. England signalled their fear of Australia’s pace attack.”

Tony Tea

We won at Lords in 2005.

Carrot

Eurgh- yes, that should have been '09 and '13.

philsgone

what are our stats winning at Edgbaston?

Tony Tea

Played 13. Won 3. Lost 5. Drew Morphett.

m0nty

I always wondered if Drewmor Fett was related to Boba Fett.

Carrot

I'm in such a good mood today!! Bit silly, really.

lou

Same here.Johnson bowling well always gives me a lift.

Tony Tea

Bugger! "England drops Gary Ballance for third Test."

philsgone

Greaat, Bell to 3, no form out early. Root to 4 upsets his batting at 5 level of perfoermance. More pressur eon cook. I reckon Bell could be ringing for the last time in this test. For whom the Bell tolls, etc etc

philsgone

So can we replpace Clark with Meg Lanning, she is a better batter and a good captain from what I have read

International Man of Abuse

Whew, it's been a long fortnight of international travel and I'm exhausted.

First I was in France to orchestrate the urine throwing, spitting and punching against Team Sky, then made an across the world trip to Perth to coordinate sustained booing of Goodes; this week I'll be at Edgbaston to stir up some trouble between Davey Boy and the Rooter.

In between time I was able to get Quade Cooper to lose it on twitter, and still had a bit of spare time up my sleeve to get out to Blacktown and fire up the Fifita twins. Go the Lower Mountains Eagles!

What with Parra and Panthers getting slaughtered each weekend it's the least I can do. Idle hands are the devil's workshop and all that. Any tips on what to do next would be gladly welcomed.

1 Timothy 5:13 and Proverbs 18:9

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