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gillysgone

As long as Papercut isnt in this team, we will never get ahead of ourselves.

M. Patard

Looks like the Paper Cut of Steel has gone the way of Alcoa. Hope he gets a good redundancy package.

M. Patard

Is there any need for a nickname for De Kock?

M. Patard

Russ, great tip on WiZiWiG. Top. Stuff.

Why would you pay when you can watch for free, anywhere you like, anytime, anything?

M. Patard

Hmmm, the consensus is after the first over is that the pitch is slow and low. Healthy snick doesn't carry.

Looks like Smith got his way with the curator.

Dickname

Who needs a nickname?

M. Patard

Gawwwwn!

Rhyno strikes.

Tony Tea

Good news for Smurf. Mitch did not get him out.

M. Patard

Hashim humbly declines to review. Oh the Hashimanity!

Tony Tea

#Hashtag

Russ

You're welcome Patrick. Cannot stand the popup ads and nonsense on the streaming sites myself, but as I said, sometimes there is no other choice - or multiple cricket matches on at once.

M. Patard

Haven't had any popups but then I use ad-blocker, so maybe that's why.

Can have the cricket in one window, skype chat going in another, listen to music, wash the dishes, get yelled at, and all at the same time.

M. Patard

Ah, oh. Wiziwig channel just got deleted.

The hunt continues.

Professor Rosseforp

M. Patard -- regarding nicknames, probably not necessary, but which bowler do you think will get de Kok out?

Tony Tea

Merv Hughes.

Carrot

Thanks, Tone.

Pat, perservere with crictime - it comes and goes. I've got it going strong in Germany at the moment.

Slow going this morning!

Tony Tea

Everything works better in Germany. Cars, trains, tanks.

Carrot

Jeez, there's some annoying bullshit being posted on cricinfo today!

Tony Tea

Today?

Tony Tea

Are we going to cop a classic Aussie ambush, where a replacement canes us?

Fred Fanackapan

Premature exasperation, Tone.

Carrot

I hope this match doesn't continue too much like this. Fast bowlers bowling within themselves, run-rate under 2.5 - yawn. These sorts of conditions and this sort of attritional cricket is really bad for the game in my opinion. Who would seriously fork out good money to watch South Africa grind out a single or two an over?

That said, Clarke's fielding placings do seem to be quite intelligent, to be honest.

m0nty

Another lost toss. But three of the last four teams to lose the toss at Dragonsdale have lost the Test. You would think Smurf made the right decision this time.

If this one goes to the Adelaide script on a similar pitch, the fact that Studsy didn't rip through the top order with the new ball won't be as important because he can do it with the old ball on a deck like this just as well. How many more times can that lightning strike, though.

Carrot

Well, so far this session I've been proven wrong, which is good. It's actually been quite interesting cricket since lunch, for the most part. These two are batting well.

We have batted well lately, but it must be said that for the most part we've either batted first or had to reply to relatively slow totals. The one decent-ish total we replied to that I can think of was in Melbourne, and we ended up getting knocked over for not many. It will be interesting to see what will happen if SA get 350 plus, here.

Carrot

Relatively LOW totals. Jeez. Although some of them were probably slow as well.

m0nty

Timmay!

We needed that.

m0nty

ABDV hasn't scored and he spent that over trying to smash Lyon out of the attack, for no run. You'd think he'd get his eye in a bit first.

Carrot

Lyon looks a decent bowler these days. A clear example of how playing in a winning side can settle a player down and buy them time. Hauritz probably would have done the same, if it weren't for the fact that we were losing a lot when he was playing.

m0nty

11 runs in 10 overs since Faf went paf.

m0nty

Well, that six F-ed his average Tony.

Carrot

Oh dearie me, Dean Eddie Elgar, what sort of a shot was that? Just when you had us just where you wanted us.

I propose Eddie, as in Edward Elgar. Ted works, as well.

Carrot

De Kock looks nervous as hell. Warm up, Mitch...

lou

Five down for 215 looks ok for Aus on thie pitch. They weren't chasing anything apart from Elgar's and De Kok's brain fades.

Seamers hardly got the ball moving off the seam at all after first 3 overs. Yuck. It looks a dead 'un but I'm sure Steyn will move it some.

gillysgone

Lyon bowled well, tied ABCDEF down well at the start. Pitch is crap, but that just means we will not match their first innings. Whats wrong with bouncy pitches?

M. Patard

5 for 215 is a great result for us on that wicket. Dickname really cocked up with that cocky shot of his. He shot too early and we cleaned up, happily.

m0nty

Marbles, as in Elgar's Marbles?

M. Patard

Re. Dickname, is he a walker? If so, he'll be De Kock of de Walk.

THE cock

He says he's de Kock, but is he?

Russ

Carrot, after some of his shots against Lyon I'd settle for Nimrod.

Tony Tea

Are we ready to call it for South Africa yet? Get your money on the Varks.

M. Patard

It's all over.

M. Patard

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. It is exactly 15 minutes to midnight.

//Oh my God//

From the Captain?

He's dead.

M. Patard

And fingers will blister on the 88's

1488

M. Patard

In all seriousness, this is not looking good. 5/274.

A pair of cunts about to turn us inside out.

Grind them Ozzie. Grind them. If only we had Stephen O'Keefe.

M. Patard

Disappointed with the lack of fighting songs on this blog tonight.

M. Patard

Saffa 300 is up.

I feel sick.

M. Patard

I make this pledge now, in honour of Springwood Cricket Club, Winmalee, Oz, and all whom I hold dear: I will listen to Midnoight Oil songs until the next wicket falls, and for every wicket until the Hun are all out.

Starting with: Sleep.

M. Patard

Please dear God, don;t make me play

M. Patard

Ok. somehow God didn't let that go through.

M. Patard

You made me play this.

M. Patard

Midnight Oil were a pretty amazing band, really.

I mean that.

Just because they were all a bunch of Labor faggots from Canberra, still, it shouldn't detract from theirn musical accomplishments, nor the fact they all sent their kids to very wealthy private schools.

5 for fucking 323!

M. Patard

Somewhere, a long time ago, there was a point to this game. But, I forgot.

M. Patard

This one's a trio. A triptych if you will. From Midnight Oil's best album, Place Without a Postcard.

Many will note that the name itself is more than self-deprecating, it's self emasculating. The signature three from a band who would all go on, individually, to regale Oz with their morals.

The trinity of dissatisfaction spoke to may a young plaintiff heart who were bereft then, of cynicism, but more was to come, as innocent as this album sounds.

Each man is born with a bleeding heart, but few make it through the union movement, fully, in tact.

Gentlemen, I give you, the three beginning with "Someone Else to Blame".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtyErNHAx4A&feature=kp

M. Patard

An early use of the Hoody. With hat tips to Snowden.

Left, Right, all in lockstep marching to Ayn Rand's fountainhead.

Illusion of freedom through consumption, free market enterprise bargaining, a shorter week, higher wages, open borders free-trade.

Check the url.

M. Patard

In 1979, Donnie Sutherland was on After Dark interviewing a methed up Iggy Pop, the Fraser years were at their fag ends, the old school Oz psyche was scorched with Viet Balts (as Whitlam called them) collecting trolleys in Woolies parking lots.

Just when the 88s of Oz were reckoning with the dissolution of their culture, came this young bald headed geezer feigning head injuries. He was "back on the Borderline" after Bodyline, and our AB, the greatest man to ever be born in Oz (from Mosman) was yet to instill discipline on a broken nation, as Big Bird was beckoning from the boundary fence.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hkpKdhz-yc

Carrot

@Russ - Nimrod works, like it! And much more creative than mine.

Talk about tempting fate - one century in seven, now make that two. Although to be fair, De Villiers has deserved it, and was always the most likely candidate after Centurion. South Africa have done well, here - much though they've played to their strengths of being just plain boring. Crap pitch, too. Really. Not every deck needs to have balls whizzing around your ears (dig the double entendre out of that one, someone), but surely there's a middle ground to be found somewhere.

Still, it will be interesting to see how we go with the bat when we're not obviously ahead of the game, and in conditions that will make scoring quickly difficult. Enter, Chris Rogers?

M. Patard

Stolen from Bankstown Library, not that I even feel guilty, the place is full of coons, after all, Garret suddenly announced himself on the day with Cold Cold Change.

A far cry from his latter day Climate Change.

In hindsight, it was politics then, politics now.

A great opening song, nevertheless.*

*All linked songs in the url.

Matt Flanagan

Don't blame me, I voted for Hitler.

Russ

A lot will depend now on whether the pitch gets worse to bat on - not just slower, but either turn or unevenness that can be exploited. It isn't really turning and they have no spinner to mention. South Africa could still run through Australia quickly, but twice, inside the 200 or so overs they'll have to bowl at us?

We might be hoping for a third innings collapse to Lyon. The sort England managed in Melbourne.

Still, got to get these two out first, and then avoid the follow-on.

M. Patard

"Your run by night"

It sure is.

Basically, an early warning that whatever was to happen was your fault. H was never on the whiskey flying, even though things would have turned out far better if he were.

Even though he hates to say he's wrong, he was.

An early benchmark in false opposition that still prevails to this day.

The kids get wound up, parents react.

Authority, reaction. Hence pop, make that, rock, music.

Eg. Ukraine

m0nty

Timmay!

We needed that even more.

m0nty

Pull your head in Pat, this is no place for that sort of language.

M. Patard

I'm getting tired here fellas. Help me, please! Don't make me do Beds are Burning.

Ok. Where were we...

Many years later two homosexuals were walking up a hill they pretended was a mountain. One of them was unprepared. They'd just landed in Thredbo from a Qantas bus. The older one had several tricks up his suitcase.

Anyway, there was a storm, frostbite, mutilation, one ate the other. Everyone ended up on daytime TV.

M. Patard

Thank, fuck. At last a wicket. Tjough I did promise to write about Midnoight Oil until the end of their innings.

My duty is my honour.

m0nty

10.. 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... shut up Pat.

Russ

How many better fieldsmen than Lyon are there in world cricket? Every time I see him do something I'm impressed.

Carrot

Bowling, Russ - agreed. I think part of the problem with falling attendances and the more-or-less agreed-upon point that Test cricket is in decline, is that with pitches like this that don't change that much from day 1 to 5 we might all as well be playing on astroturf for all the difference the conditions make. Essentially this nullifies one of the most interesting and unique things about the game, and case in point is one of the reasons that I'm only following the score at the moment and not actually watching it. I hope this pitch DOES fall to pieces on day 4 and 5, I'd love to see how good we really are. Somehow I don't think it will though, and that win, lose or draw it will all be very, very dull.

Well something happened - De Villiers is out. Well played AVB.

M. Patard

Ok. A short breather before I go on with the rest of the Midnight Oil catalogue.

I used to sniff lighter fluid to this song.

Was such a great feeling.

But, that's all behind me now.

(If I said that on Oprah you'd all applaud me)

m0nty

Timmay's getting some fair old turn there on the second day, four of the six poles to fall have been to spinners.

Varks have four seamers. Hmm.

M. Patard

m0nt, you're ruining my focus.

2BarRiff

SA should have declared at about 350 ... hard to see (though not impossible to assume) Aust getting bowled out twice for circa 200.

And the long range weather is looking like rain on the 5th day.

M. Patard

Back in the 80's when Oz was wracked with guilt for poor old Other, and the Salvo's buckets were flowing over with coin at train stations, this song came with the inward rush of an inner city hush, that only Uni students in their second year of vegetarianism and venereal disease could manage.

Don't you remember punching the air? Short memory! Must have a!

Conquistadors!

El-Salvador!

Belgians!

Congo!

My God this song was the salve to the bleeding liberal heart.

M. Patard

The protest song of the Oz 80s.

Read about it.

Can't tell you much about this other than Laborites are still reading the same old song sheet, Leftards are still shouting at old growth forests. Bearded basement dwellers still support porno watching, whore fucking, mid nsw coast Labor politicians who buy their smokes on Union credit cards, for their deserted wives.

Some washed up old lezbo cunt and her fag hairdressing bf get promoted to PM after the most neautered of sad bagged fuck baggery quisling jizz rags from Qld, and some maniac from Campbelltown.

M. Patard

I see people, wasting away in paradise
Going backward, once in a while
Moving ahead, falling behind
What do you believe, what do you believe
What do you believe is true
Nothing they say makes a difference this way
Nothing they say will do

You take all the trouble that you can afford
At least you won't have time to be bored
At least you won't have time to be bored

Oh the power and the passion, oh the temper of the time
Oh the power and the passion
Sometimes you've got to take the hardest line

The greatest argument for the repeal of Section 18 (c).

Fuck that, repeal the whole Act!

Carrot

I haaaaaaaaaate cricket like this! Come on, South Africa - how could it possibly hurt you to move the game on a bit? Surely with 400 on the board or near enough you're in the position to play more positively? I thought they'd stopped playing like this awhile ago.

Carrot

Pack 'em, Philander. 6 off 37 when you're team's in front. What a fantastic contribution to the game of cricket you've made today.....

Carrot

When YOUR team's in front. Christ on a bike!

M. Patard

Whenever I was waiting to open (I was an opener in my "hay day") I always had this sort of thing going on in my head.

Dear God, don;t let me get out, Mary, please, don't let me get out.

Bowled! Clatter of ball on stumps and the whooping jubilation of the other team.

My boys, thank God, have none of my fear, they are free willed happy go lucky.

I'm happy for them, they make more runs than I did in one innings than I did in several.

Still, I got this bad feeling about the whole thing. Like, you know something's about to go wrong, evil lurks around the corener, and we gotta dig in, prepare.

The greatest song from the Oils: Don't wanna be the one.

(Lesson: don't ever rush into someone else's calumny)

M. Patard

"The Oils" made a career out of seeming to be the conscience of a generation. All that's left is just their empty platitudes.

Echoes of a time, long gone, when morality equaled principle. Today morality is just a Yank sitcom. Canned laughter at the obvious pratfall. Verballing on a scale the NSW Police Force never thought of, back in the day when they were demonised.

In the future when the Planet of the Apes takes over, some Orangutan will find the Oil's Maralinga and wonder what sort of idiot people could ever produce such a facile music embedded on such amazing technology as a CD.

2BarRiff

SA are not playing like a team 1-0 down in a series.

M. Patard

This is the shittiest performance of recent Test match memory. I guess the Saffas think they'll bowl us out twice in 3 days without having to bat again.

The onus is on us, then.

M. Patard

Tea.

8/413

"Ray is unwell. Luke Grant will host mornings tomorrow."

Russ

I don't think they are in front. Or rather, it is very hard to see them winning from here. Not enough overs. Australia, by contrast, could easily turn them over.

m0nty

The Varks may be ranked #1 for Tests but they are a flawed team with highly variable performance levels. They got beaten recently by Pakistan, of all teams. They also have a habit of being too stoic and not forcing the advantage. This is Test cricket, though, where stoicism can be rewarded because if you don't fail, the other side often will.

M. Patard

So far the Saffas 1st innings is 23 runs ahead of Oz in the first innings at Centurion, one wicket in hand.

Two very different pitches.

2BarRiff

Reverse sweep? It's like they're not even trying.

M. Patard

26 is the final difference.

Time to see how good our batting is.

m0nty

Seamers: 99-20-239-2
Spinners: 64.5-9-186-7

Duminy's arm is going to fall off.

2BarRiff

Aaaand another run out. Is that Snorkel twice?

m0nty

700 from 200 overs at 3.5 rpo takes us to the end of the fourth day, leaves them 270 to make in a day. That should be the plan.

Varks waste a referral on the second ball. Always too high.

Carrot

I'd love to see that happen, Russ. It's always great to see enterprise defeat dour conservatism (assuming that's how we'll actually play). I can remember the Sydney Test in 05/06 as a good example of that - Prince and particularly Kallis took forever scoring tons, and then Hayden and Ponting knocked off the required runs in a day, with only two wickets down. It was beautiful.

2BarRiff

I can't fathom the SA plan. Was there a plan?

Beyond 'Not Losing', of course.

lou

It was a damn strange innnings but then they usually bat slowly. They just do. I wouldn't trust our lot to fold like a fresh hankie given that they usually stuff up the first innings.

lou

Make that 'to not fold'.

M. Patard

Rogers is red headed cunt.

m0nty

Buck hasn't looked like it at all on this tour. He'll get bucked off soon at this rate.

Carrot

I thought they'd actually got a lot of the obdurate, 2.5 runs an over stuff out of their system, Lou. I watched a lot of the 4-0 hammering of England in 2012 and was actually quite impressed with their positivity. Maybe they've reverted to type?

I was yelling and Rogers to review that. I was convinced it pitched outside the line. Clearly not.

2BarRiff

Thanks Pat. That's the word that popped into my head as well.

lou

Warner and Rogers have a shocking opening record together.

Carrot

Phew, 4,4,3 and off strike. This is not the pitch for a Dave Warner Special. Hopefully he'll settle down a bit in a minute!

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