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Tony Tea

Selection panic by Aussies in India. Maxwell in Lyon and Starc out according to whispers.

— Peter Lalor (@plalor) March 2, 2013
Tony Tea
DA Warner, EJM Cowan, PJ Hughes, SR Watson, MJ Clarke*, MS Wade†, GJ Maxwell, MC Henriques, PM Siddle, JL Pattinson, XJ Doherty

Let's not beat about the stunted flora, Lyon was rubbish in Chennai and needs a holiday. Don't agree with me? Well, would you agree with Ashley Mallett?

And after Lyon's poor bowling in Chennai there must be an argument for him to have a lengthy stint of remedial work on his technique and his mindset. Australia needs Lyon back in top gear. He has the potential to be world class, but there's lots of work to do for him to achieve that status. The Indians set out to destroy him in the first Test and they succeeded.
Tony Tea

Clarke wins the toss - Australia will bat. And OJ is still out.

M. Patard

I always thought Mr Cricket was rather presumptive handing over the team victory song to Lyon. Who's got the job now?

Furthermore, does it really matter?

M. Patard

St. Xavier, pray for him.

"He led an extensive mission into Asia, mainly in the Portuguese Empire of the time. He was influential in the spreading and upkeep of Catholicism most notably in India, but also ventured into Japan, Borneo, the Moluccas, and other areas which had thus far not been visited by Christian missionaries. In these areas, being a pioneer and struggling to learn the local languages in the face of opposition, he had less success than he had enjoyed in India. It was a goal of Xavier to one day reach China."

Tony Tea

The team song: "In the dog house I stand - a pink slip in my hand."

M. Patard

Far out.

Was gonna turn it off at 0/6 with the feeling of being on top for the day.

1/10. Warner out to a quick.

Tony Tea

Did you know Xavier means "new house"?

scott

Um, if Doherty's the answer, what was the question?

Tony Tea

You know Warner is out of touch when he can't make it past the opening quicks. Mind you, even when Warner is scoring runs, his innings are pockmarked with rubbish shots.

M. Patard

No, I didn't. The portents are ominous.

Would today have been a good day to win the toss, and bowl? Seems to me the pitch right now is best for our bowlers.

Tony Tea

"Um, if Doherty's the answer, what was the question?" How bad did Lyon bowl in Chennai?

scott

Must have been pretty awful if Doherty's the response, Tony.

In Canada, though, I didn't see squat.

Watching Crows vs Cats now, Friday night here.

M. Patard

2/15. The Indian quicks are doing the biz. We should have been doing this to them. Easy to be a hindsight hero but those are the facts.

Tony Tea

If you get bored with the cricket, or Australia are getting flogged, or you get bored with Australia getting flogged, you should watch The Story of Electricity. I love electricity.

M. Patard

Talk about stinking stacks of acid, we're now down to our last 3 batsmen.

Tony Tea

There is no way Fatty Erasmus should have given that out based on the reluctance of the umpires to give LBWs in Chennai.

scott

We're fvucked already, eh?

Tony Tea

AB, you muppet, it is not plumb if it pitches outside leg stump. Unless you mean plumb not out.

Tony Tea

Actually, I don't mind Doherty.

scott

34 for 2. Who is Glenn Maxwell and why's he in the team?

I'm off to bed. Have fun, folks.

Tony Tea

Glenn Maxwell is "The Big Show" and don't you forget it.

M. Patard

I wouldn't say "honours were shared" in the first hour. 2/49 is easily India's hour.

There's only one thing worse than getting flogged, and that's getting pity from the victors.

M. Patard

Aww Geeeeezgrrrr.

Paper Cut was looking great - till he got out.

3/53

And all to their quicks. To their quicks I say, their quicks.

Tony Tea

Is anyone surprised Watto was LB considering the way Kumar was tailing the ball into the right hander?

M. Patard

One more wicket and they're into our tail.

Tony Tea

Take out Clarke and our tail starts with the openers.

Tony Tea

The Australian Cricket Batters Group Unit has invented a new phrase: "tail opener".

Tony Tea

Hughes was more out LB than Cowan.

M. Patard

We've got the best tail openers in the world!

Tony Tea

Shit. Every time I go into the kitchen we lose a wicket. Every time we start an innings we lose four wickets. Coincidence?

M. Patard

I yearn for the days when you could doze off in front of the cricket, 1/100 and something, wake up an hour or so later at 3/250 plus.

Now ya gotta take 10 minute power sleeps.

Tony Tea

The current mob are a clear health hazard.

M. Patard

AB reckons the Ozzies can get together at lunch and discuss what's required from here. Wonder how that convo will go.

Hard Core: "Ok, what does the team group think we need to do from here?"
Team Group in unison: "You need to score a double ton, minimum."
Hard Core: "Again?!"
Team Group in unison: "Well, if you've got any better ideas we're all ears."

Russ

I wonder if Phil Hughes will give the Shiv Chanderpaul stance a burl? If any player was suited to making a go of it, it is Our Phil.

Tony Tea

Remind me again why Tubby Erasmus gave Cowan out.

Tony Tea

A pair of sunglasses wearing a burka.

M. Patard

Stay out of the kitchen Tony!

Wade gone for 62. 5/212

Good effort from a tailender.

Carrot

That was weird. I didn't think the umpires could go upstairs to see if the batsman had actually hit it or not. I would have been livid if all that was being officiated on was whether it was taken cleanly or not though, so sanity prevailed.

Carrot

Not that it made any ****-ing difference in the end..... *Sigh*.

M. Patard

Yeah, how come that went to the third umpire when there is no DRS?

Anyway, Maxwell's time has come.

Carrot

What have you got for us, Big Show?

Tony Tea

Big Show or Big No?

Nick

Prophet out, Saviour in

Tony Tea

Michael Clarke must feel like Brian Lara, coming into his prime after all the guns had retired and the dynasty was history.

Nick

Maxwell to do a Dhoni and then Harlem Shake the team song while collecting his $1 million IPL lucre

Nick

Mozz-tastic. D'oh.

M. Patard

Well, at least his strike rate was good. Thanks for coming Big Show.

Nick

Hopefully more Border than Lara.

Nick

PS : I don't think Clarke will ever feel like Lara again!

Tony Tea

Indeed. A point that was remiss of me to overlook.

Tony Tea

Oooh, look, Clarke gets out to another cross-bat shot. We are filth.

M. Patard

Hard Core obviously wasn't listening at the lunch Team Group Consultation.

C'mon Xavier, let's get to 250.

nick

Coming soon. An innings defeat.

Tony Tea

Declaration?!?

M. Patard

Brilliant move, totally unexpected. Oz declare 200 short of anything worthwhile.

This will make all the difference.

Sarcasm aside, I hope it does, but I'm not betting on it.

Yobbo

Still don't understand why Pattinson is batting below Siddle.

Declaring rather than going the tonk is not brave, it's just stupid.

nick

Channel Nine declaration

Tony Tea

Clarke did not want Australia to crack yet another mention on the AGB sub-300 list.

M. Patard

Declaring and not getting any wickets kind of rubs things in.

Tony Tea

Clarke wants to get the Test over inside four days.

M. Patard

Wade on the post Tea session: "We just let it get away a little bit there."

What's with the "we" these fellas keep using?

I might start using that at work when I stuff up.

::Says to customer after spilling steaming hot coffee all over them:: "We let that get away from us there, didn't we."

Carrot

Oh well. At least England lost today.

Russ

Weird thing about the declaration is that both Doherty and Pattinson are half reasonable batsmen. They aren't likely to make a lot more runs, but even 20 might have helped. It was a pretty woeful batting effort. Loose, ill-considered shots on a pitch staying down occasionally. And some sloppy defence. The top-4 has gone from uninspiring to consistently woeful. In some ways this was a better than expected score. How bad is that?

Nick

Cowan's game doesn't seem to work in India. Nor does Hughes'. Warner is quite literally hit and miss and Watson just does not seem to be able to make the scores his talent deserves. Wade is a number 7. Where's Usman? Shouldn't this series be tailor made for him?

scott

Woke up, was shocked but not surprised to see the score.

Why is Starc dropped after one poor Test?

Why is it that the more we know about sports science, the more our bowlers get injured?

Why is Stakeholders Sutherland still in a job? Even the captain of the Costa Concordia got fired after he ran it into the rocks.

It's like 1985 all over again. Except in 1985, we didn't have to worry that AB's back would die on him.

lou

Reading this thread is a damn sight more amusing than the day's play. I watched till Watson played the elbee card then gave up and went back to sleep.

I think they've done well to get above 200 in every innings so far in the series. Expectations. Low.

Tony Tea

Not long after our stars retired I made the call that we would not drift back to the despair of the mid 80s. I take it back. We are now considerably worse off than 20-30 years ago, and our depth is as bad as it has ever been.

Tony Tea

Theory: Clarke declared to provide cover for his shit get-out shot.

Russ

No sign of the spinners. But keeping things tight today. A vast improvement over last week.

Tony Tea

We kept it reasonably tight last week, until we were mugged by Kebabs.

Tony Tea

Midsomer Murders on ABC1. Indiansomer Murders on Fox Sports 3.

lou

I can't even be bothered trying to find a dodgy stream looking at the score. Has Doherty been turning it at all?

Tony Tea

Declare, Kebabs. You owe us one in return.

Tony Tea

Doherty has been okay. The Big Show got the Big Hits.

m0nty

Timmay come back, all is forgiven.

lou

He's a little harsh on Lyon. He was doing ok, not brilliantly but not badly, till Dhoni deliberately set out to unsettle him. It worked, Lyon is too inexperienced to know how to deal with that.

But I'll bet Lyon is being told all sorts of contradictory shit. It happened to Hauritz on the last tour of India. iI's bound to be happening again.

m0nty

We're turning into New Zealand. Unprofessional from top to bottom. Playing like a busted arse from the CEO right down to the witches what wrangler. A fate worse than that, I can't imagine.

m0nty

What a terrible day. Diem horribilus. Carpe that diem and throw it in the lacu.

Russ

This place is normally more active when the score is this bad. Have we gone into shock?

I didn't see the final session. The first was good tight, the quicks bowled most of it. Siddle was good, Pattinson lacked some bite, Henriques looked useful when he gets to England.

The second was mostly Maxwell and Doherty, but it wasn't horrendous. Pujara batted well. He is a class bat. Doherty turned the ball plenty. His problem is his angles are all wrong. He is starting from a foot outside off and pitching middle. The arm ball goes down the leg side, anything that turns a little gets worked to leg, the one that turns a lot misses off, the rest they defend with soft hands. There is no bounce to take the edge with. He needed to either bowl over the wicket or wider on the crease. Maxwell just doesn't have the control.

scott

Shocked but not surprised.

I looked at the Shield figures a while back and this is as good as it gets, folks.

The Don has risen

M0nty.

I am willing to bet Sinclair Davidson or Steve Kates is involved in selection.

Whaddayathunk?

Tony Tea

Not shock, depression.

Tony Tea

The Aussies picked a good time to dump Lyon, since they won't have to worry about singing the song for a while.

scott

After ten tests against England, we've got 3 in South Africa, according to the FTP. So Lyon's vocals won't be needed for quite a while.

Tony Tea

Looks like Steve O'Keefe may have a "Hodge" through his name.

Russ

Scott, I asked Ric Finlay how many spinners had a f/c career average in Australia in the past 50 years. He gave a list of 13, but six were from the 50s, and the only two since 1980 were Greg Matthews and Steve O'Keefe (I think he excluded test matches, because by my measure Warne scrapes in at 29ish, but still!)

Fact is, this joint is a graveyard for spinners, particularly finger spinners, with the possible exception of the SCG. The problem is we take bowlers with no knowledge of how to use a low turning deck to India and watch them fail. They aren't necessarily worse bowlers than Swann or Panesar (for example) - have a look at their averages in this country - but they know how to bowl in helpful conditions. I'm not sure any of our spinners have ever seen helpful conditions.

m0nty

Don: that would explain the omission of the Pakistani immigrant for NSW and the Pakistani asylum seeker from Victoria.

m0nty

Also, Kates would explain a lot, since his heroes the Austrians know nothing about cricket. But Davidson would have no excuse, he's from South Africa.

via collins


I found one positive last night: London to a brick, the bloke who authorised the million dollar bid for Big Show in the IPL sorted himself out with a box, and positioned a few mates in said box, so they could all have a look at their brilliant buy put through his paces.

Well, I can dream can't I?

m0nty

Pujara's last two first-class scores before this innings were 203* and 352. He might not be done by the end of today.

Russ

Pujara is all class. Looked the goods last time he played us, and against England too. Not sure if he has played outside India yet. But at home he is a force of nature.

scott

Gavin Robertson had a few interesting things to say about bowling spin in India on Cricinfo.

But it's our batting that really worries me.

Nick

$1 million to tank. I knew the Indian economy was booming but...

m0nty

Oh no, Maxwell got someone out! That means he's got an average now, and joins the list of 20 shit Aussie bowlers with Test averages over 70, three of which are now playing in this match.

Tony Tea

Pujaba is out for a mere 204. Rabbit.

m0nty

B-b-bloody beauty, 3 for 400!

Tony Tea

Monty, not just three in this match, but seven current Aussie cricketers crack a mention on that list.

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