THE GREAT ESCRAPE

Typical soft Quincelander:

War veteran Ernie Toovey risked life for Sheffield Shield

Toovey, who died yesterday in Brisbane, aged 90, was a young man of only 20 and a prisoner-of-war on the Burma Railway, when the camp surgeon told him he had to amputate his left leg, poisoned by an ulcer on his shin.

"No way," Toovey told him. "I'm going to need that leg to play Sheffield Shield cricket for Queensland."

It was a decision that easily could have cost him his life. There were virtually no medicines available so the only treatment was for an orderly to scrape the ulcer down to the bone, sometimes twice a day, using a sharpened spoon. "It was the worst pain I ever endured in my life," Toovey said in 2001.

Back when I was doing hard time at Her Majesty's Pleasure, in boarding school, we used to scrape our ulcers, then eat the scrapings. Shoe box. Middle of road. Gravel.

Comments

[m0nty]

No wonder they never won it back in those days, they picked blokes with half a leg.

[Tony Tea]

Wonder how many less-than-100% soldiers resumed cricket after the Second Unpleasantness.

[M. Patard]

mOnty, I tried posting at that Catallaxy and was as open and honest as I could be with my politics. Yet all I got was banned by Sinclair Davidson for my troubles. Along with abuse from all and sundry.

Man, I thought I could really get a good basting going in my own juices. Now, I sit in awe of Libertarians and their powers of group basting.

[M. Patard]

Apparently Currency Lad has been beatified and lies in state, uncorrupted. Lesson learned, again: never disrespect saints.

[m0nty]

Which one were you, Pat? There have been a lot of refugees from Bolt's blog in recent times.

[m0nty]

Ah, I see now. Yes, well it appears you have been mistaken for another poster. The Cat gets a lot of that, inveterate trolls reappearing every so often from other IPs under other non de plumes. Sinclair is possibly too diligent.

[lou]

Oyy, AGB cricket, the poms are getting walloped by the Blessed Bearded One and his cohorts.

Watching Amla bat when he's in a mood like that is like eating the best icecream ever invented.

I was even purring watching his defensive shots. Nonpareil.

[Tony Tea]

Sadly, I have not seen any of the cricket since Thursday night, but I have been following the scores on Crooky, and it has been a great pleasure watching the Varks rack up the numbers on a pitch the Poms rigged to suit Swann.

[M. Patard]

Thanks for the support mOnty. Btw, that "streak of violence" is usually "alcohol-related", the subject I was trying to post about.

That Catallaxy strikes me as merely the inverse of Larvatus Prodeo. All the same superficial polticking, the same amount of group batting and back slapping, a malodorous sense of superiority, except all vomited up from The Fountainhead.

I'm just annoyed that I got typecast as Ted Glossop. Entertainers* my arse!

*A joke that no one will get.

[Tony Tea]

Pat, in which post did you comment at Catallaxy?

[M. Patard]

The Open Forum. As Gentleman Ted Glossop, coach of the Canterbury "Entertainers".

Not much to see really, except for my difficulties in getting a fairly innocuous comment posted re "alcohol-related" violence, and then getting shoulder charged to the head, in a gang tackle, while Sinclair came in with a Prowler style tackle to take me out.

I'd like to take this to the judiciary, but I've lost 5 years of memory and am relying on reports from those at the ground.

[M. Patard]

Actually, I started as "Methodist Drinker", that didn't get through, then later tried "Neville Cardigan" thinking that would be more their style, that didn't get through, so again much later tried me old mate "Billy Nudgel" from Budgewoi.

Suddenly all three got through and I was accused of being Bob Brown's live in lover.

[Cameron]

M. Patard - if a comment poster uses one of those IP scrambling browser thingies his comments usually end up in spam. Your "Methodist Drinker" comment is now up.

[M. Patard]

Thank you Cambro, the thing is, I simply tried to re-post the same comment throughout the day thinking it was just going into a spam filter that was never interrogated.

Suddenly some clown just published them all and I was then accused of that most heinous of crimes: posting non-approved comments on an Open Forum.

[The Don has Risen]

Catallaxy and better off dead.

I see the link. Perhaps they might think Toovey is a former accountant living at Manly and doing another job at present.

Would Bob Brown's lover be green with envy?

[Cameron]

'Suddenly some clown just published them...'

lol, yes, one of life's great dilemmas, to re-post a comment which has gone into the spam and to just patiently wait it out?

Then you to re-post and said clown doesn't just post one comment he goes all three just to make YOU look stoopid.

I thought your comments were funny, fwiw.

What is that blog, liberatrian, vanilla conservatives or both?

BTW, you've got to romance 'em a bit before you declare yourself a fascists. Wine and dine 'em, don't just go 'wham bam thank you Ayn Rand'!

[M. Patard]

m0nty, you are best off not going in to bat for me. Even though it appears your reputation there is somewhat low, any association with me will only make it lower.

Fascism for these people is a term of abuse, not a political formulation, which is rather odd coming from a political blog.

For example, Bolt and Catallaxy types call Greenies and Labor fascsists! Greenies and Labor call Libs and Libertarians fascists!, in return. The one thing they all agree on is that fascism is the worst thing to be. Probably worse than pedophilia. At least pedophiles can be reformed it seems, whereas fascism is evil to the bone.

They equate fascism with repression, and go about repressing each other for each others fascism. Godwin's Law reigns supreme at these type of Ozzie political forums, with C.L. having a PhD in the subject.

Btw, I am politically a fascist. As were great men like Salazar and Franco. I just don't usually talk about it publicly. It never ends well, as we can see.

[Max Mosley]

I'm a Fascist too M. Patard...sexually that is...call me...

[Oswald Mosley]

Whip it good, son.

[M. Patard]

Max, you've obviously forgotten me. I was there too, at the party.

[M. Patard]

Party rally, I mean, Party rally.

[The Don has Risen]

so you are saying people at Catallaxy are well randed.

If they played cricket they would be all-randers

[m0nty]

Association with my name is probably not good for you in the long term either, Pat. Nevertheless I am now being asked to vouch for you.

I don't think you are a fascist. Nationalist, sure. I don't see how anyone can credibly be a fascist. But then I'm one of those people you say equates fascism with repression. It's a fine line to draw in the age of Godwin. They do like talking about it though, so you'd get a scrap going. They'd love it to be honest.

[M. Patard]

Don't vouch for me m0nty. I prefer to baste in my own bile. Having others in my bile would turn the whole thing off. Too many basters spoils the bile, as the saying goes.

And, yes, sadly, my dirty little secret is out. I am a fascist. Of the Salazar variety*. As Wikipedia says:

"Despite the repressive character of his rule and controversial colonial policy, Salazar remains thoroughly popular among the Portuguese. On 26 March 2007 he was elected "Greatest Portuguese" in the public poll Os Grandes Portugueses."

*Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with the other varieties, I just prefer to not go there publicly. I have orgies to maintain.

[Cameron]

m0nty-you're probably correct that fascism is an obsolete term, except whence reverting to Godwin's law. One can be simpatico to Fascism (eg admiring Salazar) but I'd have no idea how you'd practice it in this day and age (Mosleyesque debauchery not counting as a political practice IMHO).

I'd probably go with 'paleoconservative' as a Nationalist can, theoretically, be either of the left or right.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paleoconservatism

[M. Patard]

Besides, let's face it, you'd vouch for me and all would be well, then, suddenly one night or arvo there would be an alcohol-related incident, and no one, *no one*, will abide them.

Shootings? Mmmm, yeah, allright. Stabbings? Why not! Home invasions? It's a policing problem. Alcohol? You filthy drunk!!!

[Cameron]

Commenter A: Gun control! Gun control!
Commenter P: I'm a fascist.
Commenter A: Quick, somebody shoot him!

[The Don has Risen]

you don't get commenters of that calibre anymore

[Lou]

An innings and 12 runs. Fecking spanked. Add that to the 'legacy'.

[M. Patard]

How dare you talk about cricket at this blog Lou!

[Lou]

It feels rather lonely, Pat, dragging a blog that has cricket in its name back to the sport.

But it's been great watching. I like watching Kallis bat, always have and Amla is heavenly.

Smith is fugly as but he handled Swann very well which was worth watching in itself.

And of course there is the Steynmeister ready to show 'the best bowling attack in the world' that they don't have him in their ranks so they can **** right off.

Happy Days.

[Big Ramifications]

Story smells a bit whiffy to me. Half of these WWII blokes could be bullsh!t artists. Like that old fool and the whole illegal shooting trip / dingo / baby in mouth / Azaria's body in a Gladstone bag thing.

Next time you read a war anecdote, just for a moment picture the old fool relating it. For laughs.

[The Captain]

Listen.. chaps.. there's still a chance. I'm.. done for.

I've got a gammy leg and I'm going fast. I'll never get through. But some of you might. So.. you'd better eat me.

[Mr Donner]

Pass the condiments, there's a good chap.

[Carrot]

Cricinfo's saying that in terms of runs to wickets, it's the widest margin of a Test match in history. It's also the fifth Test that England have lost this year, and they've still got two more against South Africa and a tour of India to come, which given their recent subcontinental form is likely to be a bloodbath. It's all looking a bit grim for Andy (both of them) and the boys.

Even taking into account my cultural programming which obliges me to support Australia and anyone who plays England (except India recently, with good reason) I have to say that I'm pretty pleased with this outcome. We had the debate the other week about whether they're actually a properly English team of not and that's one reason, but the other is that they're just so Goddamn BORING. Andy Flower, perhaps admirably, has turned them into this hyper-efficient, make-no-mistakes, play-the-percentages side and it's just so DULL. I challenge any cricket fan, even an English one, to consider whether opening a vein is preferable to watching a Trott-Cook partnership, of which there have been many recently. I don't know about you lot, but I do not watch sport to see players so obviously play within themselves the whole time. I've never met the likes of David Warner although instinct tells me that he ain't too bright - but at least there's a bit of derring-do about him, you know? And isn't that what we want to see? Whatever happened to "play up, play up and play the game"?

A result for the neutrals in many ways, I think.

[Vindicate]

Had to laugh at Nass bringing up the 'what the varks are doing to us now, we did to Australia in Brisbane' line about five times - talk about grasping for something, ANYTHING, good to be brought out of the almighty flogging they were receiving.

While I won't enjoy the smug that will ooze, nay, gush from Smith when they take the world number 1 title from the poms, it's still the most preferable crew out of those who could realistically hold it. Better than England, and defidently better than India.
Also it pains me to say it, but while the varks have been flogging the poms six ways from sunday in our current state I'd say we would be in no danger of winning the Ashes back were they to be held right now.

[Russ]

Cameron, the difference between fascists and paleo-conservatives are that the latter are anti-corporatist, limited government types, whereas fascists generally tie government to corporations as part of their economic policy. At least in economic terms, forms of soft-fascism are pretty common - continuing bailouts of the banking and auto-industries for example, pseudo-privatisation of services and leaving most policy research to consultancies also come under that. In the former case at least, there is a nationalist tendency to the decision making process as well.

Carrot, as usual cricinfo stuffed the statistic by looking at the difference instead of the ratio. But it is still a comprehensive pasting. South Africa are not averse to boring play, but there is a lot to admire in their team. Sure Smith bats like he is shovelling sand, but Amla's timing is surreal. And I could watch them bowl all day. I did watch them bowl all day. England bowl like they know the opposition are stupid. The way Steyn goes about setting a batsman up is just unreal. Morkel too; he absolutely demolished Pietersen.

They are going to flog us come summer.

[Tony Tea]

2011/12 is the sequel to 2009/10 and is henceforth know as The Summer of Kidding Ourselves II.

Be a miracle is we can win against the Varks and the Poms in any of the series over next 18 months.

[Big Ramifications]

Listen to you lot boasting about being on topic. Have a listen, willya. That intro was an excuse for me to say this:

Check some of the suggestions to replace our Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oy! Oy! Oy! chant for the Olympics. There's some suggestions in there that even the Fanatics wouldn't touch. Great reading. I think there's even some sort of official contest in amongst the comments - check the winners they chose.

Fear my suggested Aussie Olympic crowd anthem at the end of the comments. http://www.theroar.com.au/2012/06/27/aussie-aussie-aussie-bored/

[Russ]

Haven't paid as much attention as I might to this, but you are bang-on TT. Our ICC win-loss record is going to take a mauling for the next two years years. Cop this:
12-13
RSA: 3 tests home
SRI: 3 tests home (should win that)
IND: 4 tests away (no chance)

2013
(insert defunct test championship we'd have been lucky to qualify for here)
ENG: 5 tests away (almost no chance)

13-14
ENG: 5 tests home (maybe a tiny chance)
RSA: 3 tests away (surprisingly better chance)

And to start 14-15, an away tour against Pakistan, before another (!) series against India, a tour of the West Indies and another (!) Ashes away.

On the plus side, 27 tests against India and England in three years will do wonders for the old CA bank balance.

[Lou]

It's going to be fascinating - as in watching a shark attack or car crash style fascinating - watching the Saffer bowlers make a complete donkey out of Punter this summer.

Russ, I couldn't agree more about the English bowlers. They appeared stunned into immobility by having to bowl to batsmen who weren't like dogs chasing cars when it came to the ball.

[Tony Tea]

Cow Corner: chasing, nicking.

Cow Eddie: leaving, bowled, LB.

Paper Cut: 9 fours for fifty, out.

Punter: LBW Anderson, single figures.

Lemming: feet fixed, wristy flick swipe swish, cordon.

Shameless: lost his off stump when he lost his off stump.

Wade/Klutzy: ambition tonk, sky ball, trudge.

[Carrot]

One of the other good things about this result is that England are going to have to play much more positively for the rest of the series if they're to force a result. Hopefully this will lead to fewer innings like Cook's (115 off 295) and Trott's (71 off 162). It will also be interesting to see how England play under these circumstances, particularly on their home turf, and it could be a good litmus test of how they'll play if we get our noses in front next year.

Russ, I agree about South Africa not being averse to boring play. I think that's the reason why they under-achieved for years. They consistently seemed to draw matches they should win, and lose matches they should draw, by not being positive enough. Tons in 100th Tests were in the spotlight due to Smith's, and Ponting's name came up in a match that was a prime example. Sydney 2007, Prince and particularly Kallis meandered on the 4th day when they should have batted us out of the game, and Ponting and Hayden absolutely smashed them on their way to a successful 4th-innings chase in the 5th. It's one of the reasons that Kallis tends to get slightly over-looked when it comes to being one of the genuine greats of the game - his stats are unreal, but when it comes to positive intent, he's often been lacking. Not so much recently, but definitely overall.

I was reflecting as I drifted off last night whether a) I had started another race debate like last time, and b) whether I could handle a cricketing culture from Australia that is based around the idea of securing the game before you win the game, and I have to admit that I couldn't. I would rather see Australia lose ten Ashes series than resort to that sort of Cook/Trott/earlier Kallis negativity.

[Bruce]

If Steyne, Morkel and Philander all line up for most of the series, I will bet on at least one all out for under a hundred from the fragile Aussie batting line up and two more that qualify for Tony's collapso list.

[The Don has Risen]

m0nty,

Just caught up with your adventures at Catallaxy.

Very amusing.

They obviously are not cricket types.

[The Don has Risen]

Both Smith and Strauss are cautious captains. They are both scared to lose rather than going to win each match.

It is the Captain which determines boring play.

dunno much about this match but I can't imagine the Poms bowling as badly as in this match again.

[m0nty]

I see Pat is fighting the good fight. Someone called Clyde just got banned for much the same behaviour.

[Tony Tea]

Monty, Cam shunted the debate here.

[The Don has Risen]

m0nty,

you're a bad man.

I can't help but read you at Catallaxy now.

My they are a innumerate bunch.

the Junior cricket Association I am with may have to start late this season because Junior Thugby League are having their finals on the second Saturday in September!

A disgrace