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nick

No. What's the crowd?

Tait out - prob too long a game for him. Pies retirement on the horizon or a lock for the WC?

Tony

Pies has been quushed. (Quit + Pushed.)

Tony

Tautology: Tait is an Australian fast bowler; Tait has a back injury.

nick

Now we've shown that you can't have 3 35+ year olds in the top six of a winning Test team, are we going to prove that you can't win a World Cup with three inconsistent speedsters...on the subcontinent.

nick

All the commentators dressed in retro-mode to mark 40 years of one-dayers. Everyone wearing outrageous wigs, handlebar moustaches and ridiculously long sideburns. All very 70s. The two captains come out to the toss wearing super-bright green Dennis Lillee-style headbands.

Much like the first 2020 with NZ...a sure sign interest is dying in 5050. All we need is another repeat of the last farcial WC to kill it off.

Tony

I kind of knew where the selectors were coming from when we were good and trialled players in the F50, but it looks dumb in the current circs.

nick

SR Watson, BJ Haddin†, MJ Clarke*, CL White, DJ Hussey, MEK Hussey, SPD Smith, MG Johnson, XJ Doherty, B Lee, DE Bollinger
+ Hauritz (or/for X), Tait, Siddle, Ponting, Paine.

Looks like our WC 15?

Water Closet rather than World Cup, methinks.

Tony

Sign: "Ashes to Ashes dust to dust, if Lillee doesn't get you Thompson must."

Fail: No P in Thompson & Thomson is actually spelled Thommo.

Tony

Slot Lee, you complete imbecile.

nick

Lee to Strauss, FOUR, 123.5 kph, Lee serves up a half-tracker, Strauss responds to the gift with an awkward swat, connects well enough though and sends the ball racing past mid-off for four

And what's more, its a free-hit

4.5
Lee to Davies, (no ball) 1 run, 147.3 kph, the pull shot has finally led to a wicket, oh hang on, it's a no-ball, Davies pulls another short one from Lee, doesn't get hold of it, easy catch to fine leg, Australia are celberating, Davies is on his way, umpire says 'wait a minute, I want to see whether Lee has overstepped', replays show that Lee has indeed crossed the line, so Davies survives, first time that rule has been used in one-dayers

For fucks sake.

Tony

Where does the saying "out of the screws" come from?

Tony

Lee has a nerve cracking the sulks when Watson drops a tough chance at short cover.

nick

'out of the screws'
something to do with boat engines?

Tony

This comment is a little late since it has taken a little while for me to get my head together after Haddin's missed stumping.

Yobbo

"Now we've shown that you can't have 3 35+ year olds in the top six of a winning Test team"

You mean like Dravid, Tendulkar and Laxman?

Tony

Bungled run out: tick.

Catch off a no ball: tick.

Dropped catch: tick.

Missed stumping: tick.

70 off 10: tick

Fiasco: tick.

The Don has Risen

Yes tony but apart from that they are absolutely brilliant.

A credit to Hilditch and co

Andrew H.

Agreed, Don. The selectors have done a good job.

Tony

England will score another 600 today.

Tony

Fvck off, Davies.

1/90.

Refer it, umpire.

Tony

Lucky Hussey is in the side for his bowling. (You know, in preference to SOS.)

nick

"Now we've shown that you can't have 3 35+ year olds in the top six of a winning Test team"

You mean like Dravid, Tendulkar and Laxman?

Mea culpa...although Tendulkar is evergreen, Laxman has splendid performances lighting up an otherwise average record, and Dravid is surely on the way out. Katich, even when in form, was not a big 100 maker (in Tests), Ponting is horribly out of form (or overburdened) and Hussey should have been gone prior to the Ashes.

Tony

I'd say Dravid, Tendulkar and Laxman are the exception that proves the rule.

Tony

See ya, Joost.

2/100.

Hussey the destroyer.

Tony

Fuck off, Haddin.

Tony

Haddin has been hanging out with Kamran Akmal.

nick

Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust, if Hussey don't get you, Haddin m...oh fuck. You useless irongloved hack.

Tony

Good work from Klutzy Kamran to take the bails off, when KP had not lifted his foot.

Klutzy will need to get a hundred to keep his spot. Then we can watch him cough up the WC with a series of blunders in keep-low India & Sri Lanka.

Remember Klutzy's work in India in 2008?

Tony

Adios, Pik.

3/131.

England collapsing.

nick

Pick him as a batsman and pick a keeper to keep - it's not rocket science. Don't pick a guy who can't keep wicket as the wicket keeper.

David Barry

The expression 'out of the screws' seems to be really common in golf, but I can't find anything remotely authoritative on its origin.

nick

Misfields, dropped catches...I foresee a big loss, especially without Pies in the side to give us a look in.

nick

Champion Mozz by the ABC grandstand team! Bell ended.

Tony

How's Drew's form commentating on the "magnificent specimens" playing cricket? Surprised he is not drooling on the microphone.

Tony

Drew: "Morgan played a lot of hurling when he was young."

Ridgeway: "I did a lot of hurling when I was young."

Tony

Pietersen's the right hander, Drew. And Bell's out. It's Morgan... and he's now out to classic SGW from Smith.

5/186.

nick

Irish Mozz.

Tony

Mmmmmm... chewy... minty... mentholy.

Tony

Haddin misses ANOTHER stumping?!? Quit now, Brad, before you are pushed or even quushed.

nick

Haddin doing for KP what Akmal did for Hussey.

Tony

Haddin misses a stumping, and KP answers with two sixes. Read the signs, Klutzy.

Bruce

The screws refer to the face of old persimmon drivers.

Like this

I think they have been proven to have no effect but did denote the sweet spot and so hitting one out of the screws was likely to fly well.

Tony

Haddin's looking at his gloves. A bad tool blames his tools. Dunno about 'bounce back'. How about just 'bounced':

Haddin will bounce back from baptism of fire: Rixon

Seven Tests in to Haddin's career, his hold on the spot is perhaps not as strong as he would like it to be. The runs haven't come, argue critics, and his work behind the stumps in India - he conceded 66 byes in four Tests - was slammed by former Australian batsmen Dean Jones. "Brad Haddin has simply let through too many byes. About 40 in a Test is just not good enough for an Aussie keeper," Jones wrote.

"I think he's probably had the toughest initiation as a debut keeper that anyone has ever had, having to go the West Indies on those flat, low wickets and then go straight into an Indian tour where they weren't much better," Rixon said. "He's probably going to be very, very happy at the Gabba for the first Test where the ball is going to be above his waist for the first time in the seven Test matches he's kept in. I was very impressed with Brad in what I saw in very difficult situations."

At the Gabba in last week's Twenty20 match, Haddin was standing eight paces further back than he did in India where the bounce was so low and slow. Rixon said this forced a keeper to take reaction catches rather than those earned by technique.

Tony

Which Haddin has Bryn been watching?

Bryn: "Strange feel to this game, the usually emaculate Haddin costing more than a few wickets, Dougie Bollinger usually stamps his mark on a game but seems to just be ghosting through it out there."

Maybe the 'emaculate' is a subtle joke?

Tony

Junk Yardy holes out and will be lucky to keep his spot in a full strength England.

6/236.

Tony

Hate to think how many England would be if they were batting well.

Lou

I've always thought Klutz can't keep to slow bowlers. Not so bad with seamers. But I didn't think he'd be this bad. Compare the no of stumpings in ODIs Tim Paine. For the number of games he's played, Paine's ratio is highly favourable compared to Klutz.

Tony

It is bordering on inconceivable that Haddin can be our keeper in India & Sri Lanka. He gives away too many runs and wickets; a problem that is exacerbated on low, slow wickets.

Tony

KP run out by a Johnson soccer kick.

7/257.

Johnson should bowl with his feet.

Lou

Johson's role: specialist kicker.

Lou

Johnoon probably could have played anything, he's athletic enough. His bowling in ODI is down the toilet though in the past couple of years. He could lose us a match on his own just like in test.

Tony

Nice time for Slot Lee to clear up the tail with some fast reverse. Wishful?

Lou

Yorkers still not seasonal I see.

Tony

Bresnan holes out to deep third man off another SGW.

8/271.

Big of England to donate wickets at regular intervals.

Tony

Swann holes out to long on.

9/279.

Keep 'em coming, England.

Tony

So, it looks as if the new broadcast regulations have not stopped Nine jumping to the News ate 6:00. So much for flexibility vis-a-vis the digital back up stations.

Tony

Tremlett caught behind... yes, by Haddin.

All out 294.

Australia are lucky England batted badly. And England are lucky Australia bowled (and kept) badly.

Tony

Terrific interview on Grandstand with Bill Lawry & Ray Illingworth. Bill is so much better when given time to talk about the game.

Tony

Well, it was a terrific interview. It just cut out for several minutes of dead air.

Lou

If England are lucky that we bowled and fielded badly, they've been lucky all summer. The Aussies have stunk for the last 6 months. I don't think that's bad luck.

Lou

On that display, I would say that Haddin has cemented his place back in the 20/20 team. Being out of form seems the prime requirement for selection now.

Tony

For years Aussies have cheered the likes of Marsh, Grout, Healy and Gilly. Good keeping here is something we take for granted. Meanwhile, we have mocked the likes of Kamran Akmal and Partiv Patel, but Haddin's keeping is just as bad. Dare I say it: Haddin's keeping was unAustralian.

Lou

After his 'confusion' over why he was dropped from the t20 team, it's great response to the selectors... to show just how you can't keep to slow bowlers.

Tony

"While you consider picking me for India, I'll go get that ball that shot through my legs."

Tony

Well, knock me down with a 3-speed Dragster. Grandstand have just left the cricket for cycling.

Tony

Watto 50. Put your gloves on, Clarkey.

Tony

Fielders moving around is old-school gamesmanship.

Tony

Hello. Klutzy holes out.

1/110.

Good fielding practice shot.

Tony

The batting has gotten harder and I'm sensing a collapse around the corner.

m0nty

Having a discussion on Twitter about Lemming with a rabid North Melbourne supporter. It's a little surreal.

Tony

'rabid North Melbourne supporter' screams surreal.

m0nty

Ooh exciting, Lemming's strike rate is creeping up towards 50%. On the bright side, this is longer than he has normally lasted in Tests lately.

Tony

Lemming's getting his nurdle on.

m0nty

Bugger, Clarke survives. He can't even sacrifice his wicket properly.

Lou

Lemming doing his usual. So tedious. England could bowl complete tripe to him and they'd still tie him down.

m0nty

Why is it that Lemming plays wild, expansive shots as soon as he gets to the crease in Tests these days as if he's got ants in his pants, and chooses ODIs to play the solid, dependable sheet anchor? His cricket is entirely arse about.

Tony

Lemming takes seriously his job as designated nurdler.

Lou

Well played by PC. Now hit the ball back at Clarke hard.

Tony

Good 100, PC.

Lou

I'm laffin' at the English commentators saying that Lemming is struggling a bit. No he's not. Not by his standards.

Tony

The Lem is doing what The Lem does best.

m0nty

The crowd is starting to boo Lemming's dot balls. I always said Melbourne's crowds were knowledgeable about the game.

Cameron

I'm laughing at Healy saying we need to activate the batting power play now because Clarke and Watson are our two best boundary hitters.

Tony

If it was up to any of the Nine commentators, Australia would declare at 40 overs.

Lou

Healy has gone to the Hilditch school of spin. Clarke would be outhit by just about everyone including Bolly.

m0nty

Hey Watto, cool it mon. You be drownin' in honey.

Tony

I was absolutely certain Junk Yardy would buy a wicket in that over, and he nearly did.

m0nty

Amazing how the same ball from Yardy, short on leg drifting down, can be hit for six twenty rows back by IPCoS but Lemming can't do anything but prod it along the ground to long on.

Tony

Nurd is the word, Mont.

Lou

Lemming isn't trying to hit it. He wants a red-inker. He is going to lose matches for us in the WC.

Tony

Tell it to Teflon Tim. I'll guarantee Clarke is riding to trainer's instructions.

Tony

Clarke gets a four with a double overthrow. It's Olde England. Haven't seen that since U15s.

Lou

Watson is getting knackered. Clarke should be trying to hit more boundaries. Useless ****

m0nty

Bresnan's Nine graphic before he bowls is rather silly, trying too hard to look well 'ard. "The name's Bresnan. Tim Bresnan."

m0nty

There are almost as many seagulls as human spectators at the G. It's like a Shield game.

m0nty

No wonder Lemming nurdles, when he tries to go the tonk he looks horrid. 36 from 57 chasing 290-odd then he holes out. Yeah Lemming, that's good tactics.

Tony

Unlike Clarke to try to hit it in the air through the infield.

2/213,

England still in the box seat.

Tony

Well placed, Smiffy.

Lou

Who next? Doherty? Teflon?

m0nty

That's what happens when you send a boy to do a man's job. Young Steve out slogging for 5.

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