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Tony

Or maybe my perspectives are just not French enough.

patard

Bingle's Box and VaJazzled Dog update:

PLUMBERS received a "distressed" call early yesterday from the luxury Bondi Beach apartment block where Michael Clarke and Lara Bingle lived together.

An employee of Sydney company Twin Pipes told The Sun-Herald he and a colleague attended the Campbell Parade property after being asked to retrieve an "item of significant value". They understood it was Bingle's $200,000 diamond engagement ring.

Very distressing for the Twin Pipes.

And in the Men's news: If Cronulla halfback Scott Porter wanted to honour the memory of his late sister by playing an inspiring role against Melbourne, he achieved his aim.

Porter's sister Lisa, aged 38, died of a heart attack on Friday night. Shark Park's 11,000-strong crowd, his teammates and opponents respected his obvious grief with a minute's silence.

For Porter, it was the beginning of an exceptional effort to aim up against the defending premiers.

That's how a Man responds to real and actual distress.

Cam

'Would it not be a rank hypocrisy for them to "cut loose" their partners for being drama queens...'

No hypocrisy Tony. Chaps and AB are apex alpha males. Their women know it and are or were quite happy to rationalize away any indiscretions.

The difference with todays cricketers is although there alphas they've had PC crap shoved down their collective throats since their first days at primary school. Being a bunch of unquestioning Proles (i think only Katich out of our current crop attended a private school) they've swallowed the 'equality' of the sexes crap whole.

That's why we've got a bunch of vajazzled losers representing us and could explain our lack of captaincy candidates.

Clarke breaking up with Lara Single is not a case of him suddenly growing a pair but merely an example of male obsessiveness. His life goal is the Aussie captaincy and she was standing in his way. I value the trait of expediency in our leaders, so i believe refreshing as far as his captaincy credentials are concerned.

Kudos to Scott Porter. Despite the media charecterizations if i ever had to go over a trench i'd want a rugby league player next to me.

Lou

Cam, the alliance of war and sport in a sentence always makes me laugh. It always seems so unrealistic.

Gideon Haigh wrote an interesting article about this media crap around Clarke and Bingle. The most worried thing in it is that he described Spanky as Australia's 'most admired and influential' sports journalist.

How creepy is that?

patard

"...he described Spanky as Australia's 'most admired and influential' sports journalist."

Creepy, weird, and certainly 100% incorrect.

Cam

Lou, perhaps the 'go over a trench' phrase is a tad antiquated (and overblown) but i wasn't attempting to concoct an alliance between war and sport. I was suggesting that rugby league players have character traits (courage, loyalty, resiliance) that often go underreported.

(I sound like Spanky, i'm misunderstood!, i'm misunderstood!)

I'm not a big fan of Haigh. He deserves credit for his work on drawing attention to the quality of cricket played during WSC and oposing the Indian 20/20 jugernaut but his articles leave me cold. He seems in love with his prose and is oh so eager to show off his smarts by equating Test cricket captains with obscure 15th century Ming dynasty emperors. I find i'll read one of his articles then at the end wonder 'What was his point?'.

I thought Roebucks Bingle piece was his best article ever. Spanky seems to have an excellent understanding of beautiful women and their dangerous side . Maybe he's a player? Or perhaps he read about them in one of Shapespeares plays?

Haigh takes a shot at Spanks saying his writing was bordering on gossip columisnt stuff then he writes the following;

'Yet, amazing to say, Australian cricket seems to have survived the corrosive influence of Clingle - to belatedly give the couple the moniker, a la Brangelina, they surely deserve. Australia has lost one match this summer; Clarke was joint winner of last year's Allan Border Medal, and second-placed in this year's. Were Bingle to parade nude down Macquarie Street, Australia would presumably be unassailable. Over to you, Max'

Lou

I don't think that it would be hypocrisy to cut a partner loose for being a drama queen. You don't need to be a top sports star to get extremely fed up with that, because it becomes very boring very quickly if you are a person who wants a quieter life.

And also, if you are the one with the talent and the earning power, what is wrong with the other one doing more of the accommodating so that you can get on with it? It's not always a case of a battle of the sexes, I would imagine (perhaps I am being a bit idealistic) that Cate Blanchett's husband has to do a bit more compromising than she does as she is the one with the real earning power in the family.

Cam

Every relationship is a power battle. I have no idea who Blanchett's husband is but i guarantee you he's a left wing, eunich, pillow biter (save the gay whales-cheers Rammers). The difference is that it's natural for a man to have the upper hand or power in a relationship and completely unatural for a woman to have control. The real issue is why do elite sportsman have to date celebs? I think it's a status thing. Clarke's idol is Beckham and Beckham was a catalyst for a lot of this metro rot thats infected our cricket team.

patard

Imagine being in a trench with VJ Clarke.

Pat: I see you've been inked again.
VJC: Yeah it's a picture of me favourite low carb beer bottle with Celtic cross-thatching and Mandarin lettering.
Pat: Yeah? Interesting combination ::aside: what a d*ckhead:: What's it say?
VJC: It's an old Confusion proverb, "Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self."
Pat: I think that's Confucian.
VJC: Yeah I was too at first.
Pat: ::aside: fuck me drunk:: I hear that in half an hour the Captain's gonna blow the whistle and we all have to get up top, run like the clappers and then get shot and killed. I don't like the plan myself. Not at all.
VJC: Nah nah yeah but I can't go anyway.
Pat: Why not?
VJC: Just got a call from me fiance. Apparently I gave her the clap and she's freaking out especially now that she can't hang out at the Tigers team bus to help Pig Dog with his sore hamstrings. He's a mate of mine. Good mate. She goes over his house and gives em a rub down.
Pat: ::incredulous:: Yeah?!
VJC: Yeah, he's a top bloke. Dunno how she got the clap cause we've been waiting till we get married. She said it's the right thing to do. I got to hold her left tit once. But it was accidental as I was trying to keep her hair out of the toilet bowl while she spewed up after a night out with the Malacca's. They're top blokes too. Really look after her while I'm out here on tour. Mum reckons they're into bad stuff and they're no good but she's wrong. They're top blokes. They're always hugging her and inviting her up to the club. She's in there for hours. It gets pretty boring waiting in the car sometimes but I don't mind. I just listen to the Nightlife with Tony Delroy. He's great too. Can't get any questions right though even if I use Doogle.
Pat: ::incredulous:: Yeah?! Google isn't it?
VJC: Yeah, can't type fast enough. Anyway, I arksed the Captain if I could go home to help her out. Apparently she needs someone to drive her around for a while, so she can get over it. You know. Women hey, what a hassle.
Pat: Sh*t! And the Captain said you could go? My first kid died 3 months ago from the consumption and my wifes got irremediable diarrhea, and the rest of the tackers have gum rot because all the mrs can afford is Peanut Butter sandwiches and that cheap arse Coles maple syrup. And Aldi Peanut Butter at that. But the Captain wouldn't let me go. Said a man has his dues to his country.
VJC: Yeah but I'm supposed to be the next Captain. They can't lose me. Anyway, gotta go. Seeya!
Pat: ::bitterly::Yeah seeya ::not aside:: CVNT!!

::Background a whistle blows. Pat and the lads rise up, run and get mowed down. Back home in Oz we see one of Pat's kids gums all green and bleeding. Next shot camera focuses on VJC's face staring intently without intelligence at his latest inking as the staff driver slowly chauffers him in the other direction::

THE END.

Lou

Cam, what is that based on? This 'naturalism' in men holding the upper hand. Do you really believe that or do you have a gay-whale avatar fighting the opposite corner in some other forum?

patard

Haigh has a good point or two as does Tones and just about every man and his dog on this whole idiotic topic.

For me 1) I'm not into "Bogan" bashing. There is some pretty serious snobbery going on that stinks worse than racism (that is the eternal put down and silencing "You racist", in other words "you are scum".

Penrith is full of Bogans and I pity, fear and love them. I see a whole lot of fault in our culture and education system that has failed to bring these kids up with a group inclusion, standards, and some vague idea of "private life".

Bogan for me is a hate term, White hate. I don't seek to censor it but point out that it smacks of elitism and has no common ground of love or empathy.

2) Bingle is too young mentally. That is quite obvious. She is young in years. Too young for the role of wife. She has been poorly advised and is sadly making a complete fool of herself. He friends and family must take responsibility. Who advised her to sell her story to Womans Day or whatver idiotic magazine she went in? Whoever it was doesn't have her personal interests at heart. Pecuniary interests, short term and all, for sure, but her interests? Not at all.

3) Clarke shows immaturity by breaking tour. Again I'd say he was poorly advised. I would have advised Bingle to go to NZ and for both of them to work it out there. That would've taken the heat form prying eyes in Oz. Coming back was a red flag to the media bull.

4) Everyone is sullied by this event. I hate the media with a vengeance and these events show why. They seek out and expose every little thing about someone. They hunt and chase. All forms then swamp with the news and when people complain "enough already!" they say "You don't have to read it. Look away if you don't like it." Yet we have always looked to the press and nightly news for information. That they have abrogated any sort of decency and bully and shame people is pathetic. The press is rank. They are all hypocrites.

Of course people like Bingle and Clarke feed off press exposure for their wallets. It's a symbiotic relationship. It's a hard line to walk for Clarke to want to be Captain, make all that moola and still remain a serious and respected figure.

He's done his dash just as our press long ago did theirs.

This sort of lovers spat is the stuff of teenage years. Fair dinkum, grow up. They're young but not that young. And this word "distress" being bandied about - ffs, as I've said before there is plenty of real distress and people should get some perspective.

This whole fiasco is humiliating for Bingle and Clarke, and an absolute disgrace for all those involved in the MSM.

There is so much more to people and what really counts in life.

And whoever was involved in distributing that picture deserves a smack in the mouth. Every f*cken one of them.

Hewy

I've got no problem with Clarke missing 2 out of the 15 ODIs in the last 8 weeks to dump his fiance.
My only criticism is that I wish that he gone and dumped her during the t20 games, because then we would have won 2-0.

Throbber

I don't see what the big deal is with her....
She's got a head like a foot.

Yobbo

It was Bingle who was doing the rooting around in this case though which makes the relevance of Calypso Cricket a bit strange.

I don't really see what more Clarke could have done. He went home for a week to kick her out of his place. If it was the Ashes he probably wouldn't have. It was a meaningless 1-dayer against losers.

Big Ramifications

Remember that confirmed rumour[?] that Katich grabbed VaJazzled by the throat in the Oz changeroom after a day's play? I hope this hasn't been mentioned recently and I'm just repeating it.

The reason? VaJazzled wanted to go home early to see his va... I mean... Bingle.

When I say go home early, I mean go home coz he couldn't be arsed waiting around for 15 other blokes to sing a team song. At the time, part of me thought "good onya for wanting to go home when ya wanted to" and the other part of me thought "pussy whipped."

nick

OK Commentariat. I've had a few mates say to me that sledging the shit out of Clarke is ok becuase of the following quote.

'Jonty Rhodes sister was killed in a train crash. The next game when Rhodes was batting, Ian Healy behind the stumps called out 'choo choo'. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.'

I don't remember this. Is my memory crap or is somebody else's memory crap or is this just the usual anti-Oz drivel that gets rolled out whenever we string a few wins together?

gay whale lover

Nick, that story's been doing the rounds for a long time.

It was acutually Chris Cairns sister who died in a train accident. The tale goes that Big Merv was coming into bowl to Cairns and the Australian slips cordon started to do the 'choo choo' thing.

Some dickhead journo went ahead and printed the tale in the papers. Chris Cairns was horrified the story was printed and said the whole thing was a load of crap and never happened.

Lou

Usual anti Aus-drivel that gets reeled out... sometimes at least with the right personnel. It pops up almost continually in forums.

Does anyone feel sorry for Clarke? I don't feel sorry for either of them. They both love the press so they have to cop it sweet when the pendulum swings.

I hope the Kiwi supporters give him heaps.

patard

Yobbo makes some good points but as for "If it was the Ashes he probably wouldn't have." I'd say "If it was the Ashes I hope he hasn't been selected."

If I was a Kiwi, there but for the Grace of God go I, I'd rip VJC a new one from the slips cordon. I hope he's met with the most derisive wooting, laughter, etc ever seen on a cricket field. It'd be even better if he were met with complete dead silence as he walks to the pitch, for every ball he faces and as he returns to the pavilion. Just a deep silence of contempt for this insipid marketing cardboard cutout that would walk where men walk.

But you can't even get a complete minute's silence for anything these days so I'd go with the howling and ridicule.

Big Ramifications

Any time it hits his legs I'd be yelling out "LB!" Boy, am I funny or what?

Man, I thought there were plenty of golfing puns to be had with the Tiger Woods thing. I'm a bit slow on the uptake, but.

I saw a headline "Clarke Out as Journalists Follow On" and I thought "what a crap headline does that person have English as a second lang... oh... it's a cricket pun."

Did Daniel Chick's sister get killed by a train?

Big Ramifications

Nope. His brother died after eating a peanut or something like that. And his wife's future bro' in law got killed during the 9/11 attacks [nevarr forget].

I'm sure I remember reading about a relative of an AFL player being hit by a train. No matter.

Hangover Black

You were in the vicinity of being right with the Hawthorn/WA connection. It was actually Chance Bateman's sister who was hit by the train.

Chick was in the news recently after being charged with possession of anabolic steroids at Perth Airport. His excuse to the judge was that he was seeking employment at a Pilbara minesite, and needed them for personal use as his body was buggered from his footy career. I doubt it would be news to many people that they've given up using picks/shovels/wheelbarrows in the Australian mining industry, and there is hardly a job still going that requires anyone to be anything above an ordinary level of fitness. How Chick got away with that excuse is staggering. Perhaps it was the same judge that presided over Pomersbach's case, where he said he was scared of catching the bus because he might get accosted. Doubtful. Have you seen the size of him lately? He looks like he was Chick's sole customer.

Big Ramifications

Thanks, HB! Really appreciated. It was slightly doing my head in. I'm normally good with the Google [the kiddies call it Google Fu] but I kept on coming up blank.

You would think: afl sister killed train and the various permutations would get you somewhere. Obviously "train" has multiple meanings and AFL players do a lot of training, so that didn't help.

Plus, you get hits to news headline pages which can be most annoying. eg. A headline page talking of Victorian trains, someone being killed somewhere on this planet, and the AFL wrap up, is going to rank very highly.

As you were, gents!

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