AGB Cricket

A HEIDELBERG SCHOOL

Two can play at that game.

Move aside, Roberts. Balls to you, McCubbin. Hit the bricks, Streeton. Take your crayons and dangle.

Truly it can be said that my art "captures the drama, speed and excitement of cricket in one precious, dynamic visual moment that, unlike the perfect six, lasts a lifetime." 

AY OOPS

Sir Boycott comes clean.

COPPING A SURVE

The most talked-about aspect of the recent Herald Sun cricket survey related to Michael Clarke:

Q29. MOST OVERRATED AUSSIE CRICKETER

• Michael Clarke 14%
• Shane Watson 11%
• Shaun Tait 10%
• Brett Lee 6%
• Mike Hussey 5%
• Cameron White 5%
• Andrew McDonald 5%
• Nathan Hauritz 5%
• Mitchell Johnson 4%
• Ricky Ponting 4%
• James Hopes 3%
• Brad Haddin 3%
• Philip Hughes 3%
• David Hussey 3%
• Brad Hodge 2%
• Ben Hilfenhaus 2%
• Peter Siddle 2%
• Nathan Bracken 2%
• Adam Voges 1%
• Doug Bollinger 1%
• Shaun Marsh 1%
• Simon Katich 1%
• Stuart Clark 1%
• Graham Manou 1%
• Other 3%

The Hun even gave it the back page treatment:

NO PUP LOVE

FANS have branded Michael Clarke Australia's most overrated cricketer and called for the sacking of selection boss Andrew Hilditch, in an exclusive Herald Sun survey.

Now, I'm no statistician, but it appears to me that an over-rated rating of 14% is hardly a ringing dis-endorsement of Clarke. If, say, 55% thought Clarke over-rated, then that would be cause for pause.

Today on SEN, KB and a publicity expert called James debated, at length, why Clarke should be so woefully out of favour with Aussie cricket fans. Their conclusion was that it's not Clarke's cricket that has him in the toilet of public opinion, it's his metrosexuality, hot squeeze, flash car, earring and tatts. (Personally, I would refuse to select any cricketer with tatts based on my authoritative diagnosis that any person with any tattoo is certifiably insane.) KB cited Clarke's 10 centuries (he has 12) as evidence that Clarke is no Test bunny.

Surely it's a bit of both. While there are no doubt plenty of punters willing to pop Clarke for his attitude, demeanour, tall-poppyness, there is a strong school of thought that thinks Clarke is over-rated precisely because of his cricket.

151	4/149	474
145	3/216	551
141	4/128	585
138	3/109	445
136	3/78	406
135	3/206	527
124	4/257	513
118	3/241	563
112	3/284	577
110	3/199	479
110	3/155	535
103	3/137	375

(Left: Clarke's score. Middle: when he came in. Right: team total.)

As you can see from the table, whenever Clarke scores a ton, Australia cashes in. Only once has he come in with Australia under 100 and gone on to post a hundred. And I haven't even mentioned his unalloyed talent for getting out in last overs.

When Australia collapsed at the Oval in August, Clarke flopped for 3, slapping a catch to Trott at short mid-off and leaving Australia at 4/93.

Would Steve Waugh have played that shot?

FIRST TEST: THE GABBA

Time to revisit November 2007:

DAY ONE

most speculation has centered on our attack, with the emphasis on our ability to replace Warne and McGrath; especially their ability to pinch a wicket when things were starting to dawdle. We all remember Sydney 2004 when the Indians spanked us for 705, and none of us want a repeat. That! was gruesome.

Just last week I hacked the email server at the University of East Anglia’s Bowling Research Unit and discovered that yes, Australian bowling had indeed performed at odds with projected modelling. Chief scientist Andrew Hilditch admitted to me that his claim the Australians performed statistically better than England in the 2009 Ashes was an attempt to hide the decline; contrary to BRU modelling, Australia had, in fact, lost the Ashes.

Would Australia have lost to South Africa in either Perth or Melbourne had Warne & McGrath been playing? Would they have drawn in Cardiff? Of course not. We would have rolled SA (despite the WACA track being a day five road), and in England taken a 1-0 lead and most likely cruised to a series victory.

Not that Australia's loss was a surprise to me:

WIPEOUT AUSTRALIA

I give us a good chance of winning in South Africa.

Even stranger, on the back of that, I can't see us winning in England.

South Africa prepare pitches to suit our style of fast bowling; a bit like we used to prepare pitches for the Windies. England, on the other hand, was always going to prepare pitches to take the edge off our fast bowling, comfortable in the knowledge that slower pitches are no longer going to favour our less-than dynamic spinners.

Where does that leave us at November 2009? Well, about the same place we were in November 2007: struggling to bowl sides out and lucky to be playing a weak side. Will we need Rudi to bail us out against the Windies like he did when he fired Kumar at No.3 in Bellerive? Don't forget we struggled to roll the Windies over there last year, and even benefited from the odd not-home-town decision.

Speaking of Rudi: referrals. Wonder if the electronic umpiring will provide as much fun as it did in South Africa.

WALK THIS WAY

Stroll on over to the Centre for Applied Philosophy and Public Ethics at the University Of Melbourne's Res Publica - phew! - to see what Samir Chopra & David Coady have to say about walking & not walking:

To Walk or Not to Walk

To walk or not to walk: Should a batsman acknowledge his own dismissal by leaving the wicket without even waiting for the umpire's decision?

The AGB is also an august publication, ipso facto, we strictly adhere to the time honoured practice of footnoting.

1: Wally Hammond missed the entire 1926 county season with syphilis. True dinks.

THE DOOZRA

So Krazy has unveiled a doosra, has he?

Krejza hopes for more doosra victims

Anticipation meanwhile builds about off-spinner Jason Krejza's ability to serve up another doosie of a doosra as his Australian selection rival Nathan Hauritz tilts at the West Indies.

Skipper George Bailey, who'll play his 50th Shield match for Tasmania against the Redbacks, says the doosra Krejza bowled to dismiss NSW's Usman Khawaja last week is the best delivery he's ever seen.

One respected Sydney scribe described its deadly emergence as the most significant delivery by an Australian spinner since the retirement of Shane Warne.

Has anyone seen the delivery?

Krazy bowling a doosra is certainly "significant" and the "anticipation" for his next one, or rather, next other one, is no surprise, but my first thoughts when I heard about how he'd skittled Khawaja weren't "doosie" or "best delivery" or "Warne ball". They were more like Terry Jenner's:

Krejza adds doosra to spin campaign

Australian leg-spin guru Terry Jenner has been sceptical of Krejza's new addition, telling newspapers at the weekend that "everybody who has bowled the doosra has been reported for suspect action".

"So if Jason Krejza has miraculously discovered a way to bowl the doosra without flexing his elbow, then he's a genius," Jenner said.

But Krejza said yesterday: "I wouldn't be able to chuck it the way I bowl it, it is completely straight-armed." Krejza endured one of the great rollercoaster rides in Test cricket.

Serious question: Do you think the Aussie selectors would pick Krazy if he was bowling his doozra?

Where does that leave the "coterie of former Test spinners" who decided not to teach the doosra because "in their collective opinion, it offends the laws of the game"?

What, if any, pressure will be applied behind the scenes to keep the doosra out of Aussie cricket? Or fast track it into Aussie cricket?

It would be a farce if Australia, desperate to find the new Warne, went all Shree and suddenly embraced a bowler with a questionable delivery/action.

HARSH FAIR

Hats off to the Bhogle (and Adsy and Nick for the links) for pulling the trigger on chuckers:

Three cheers for the crackdown on chucking

So umpires in India have started calling bowlers for chucking, and it is nice to see a forgotten law being implemented. Some bowlers, especially those who have played first-class cricket for eight or 10 years, might choose to disagree with the current practice. They are entitled to be a bit confused, but really, in our part of the world we have no alternative. In law, in spirit and in fairness, bowling has to be a straight-arm exercise, and that definition has been mutilated over the years.

With fixed cameras at every first-class game, there is no place to hide anymore, and in any case the argument against unfairness suffers when confronted with the number of wickets that have been obtained with illegal actions over the years. In truth it had become an epidemic and had reached a stage where if we saw a finger spinner, rather than look at how good he was, we were overjoyed that he actually bowled with a straight arm.

Coincidentally, I was overjoyed when I first saw Manou, and then Paine, pouch pellets behind the poles instead of the Klutz.

GOOD HAIR DAY

Rug Bollinger is in the Test squad at the expense of Stuey Clark. The Rug bowled well without luck in his only Test against SA last summer, and bowled particularly well in the Indian one-day series (yes, I'm aware of the one-day vs. Test discrepancy), so his inclusion not a surprise. Nor is Clark's omission; his absence from the first three Ashes Tests was an indication he's on the selectors' shit-list. Rug seems to have found the penetration and bite that Sarfraz seems to have lost, Headingley's green conditions excluded. Whether Bollinger can push out one of Hilfenhaus, Johnson or Siddle, overcome the accepted wisdom that you don't pick two lefty quicks, even though it worked in Sydney, and avoid 12th man duty will be settled at a later date. That's assuming Hauritz keeps his spot; personally, I'm back on the Nyce Bryce McGain bandwagon.

Bollinger picked for first Test

NSW fast bowler Doug Bollinger has been named in the Australian team to face the West Indies in the first Test starting in Brisbane next Thursday.

Bollinger's selection has come at the expense of fellow Blues paceman Stuart Clark who played in the final Ashes Test at the Oval in August.

Ricky Ponting, Michael Clarke, Doug Bollinger, Brad Haddin, Nathan Hauritz, Ben Hilfenhaus, Phillip Hughes, Michael Hussey, Mitchell Johnson, Simon Katich, Marcus North, Peter Siddle, Shane Watson.

Hussey, despite weeks of brow-furrowing deliberation by pundits and undits alike, keeps his spot courtesy of a ton in his last Test and a pile of runs in the, ahem, one-dayers. The Indomitable Paper Cut of Steel looks set to stay at the top of the order... is what I would have written had I not just spotted Our Don Hughes name on the list.

Lee's nowhere, despite his ability to talk a good game.

WALLOPING INFLATION

Five becomes six:

"Can he get six fours in a row like David Hookes against Tony Grieg?"

~~ Mark Waugh on Steve Smith, FRC, NSW v Tas

Ironic, then, that Smith did get to emulate David Hookes against Tony Grieg.

44.1 Drew to Smith, FOUR, good yorker is somehow dug out and driven straight back down the ground

He's seeing them like beach balls at the moment!

44.2 Drew to Smith, FOUR, slower ball outside off, down on one knee cuts through point, great shot

44.3 Drew to Smith, FOUR, short on off, steps across and places the pull shot over short fine leg

He's played all the shots today young Smith

44.4 Drew to Smith, FOUR, full toss on middle, not perfectly timed but gets it over square leg

44.5 Drew to Smith, FOUR, full toss on middle again, flicked through mid wicket for another boundary, incredible stuff!

Drew's figures taking a pounding here

44.6 Drew to Smith, 1 run, full outside off and drives through cover to keep the strike, the crowd will be happy!

MOST? PEOPLE I KNOW THINK THAT YOU'RE CRAZY

Lose 2-1 to a great side and you can conclude that some things went pretty well. Lose 2-1 to a shit-house England and, even if your assessments are statistically valid across all categories (bar the obvious one: scoreboard, mate), it's a bit rich to conclude that most things went pretty well:

Australian chairman of selectors Andrew Hilditch digs in

"The only thing I know about selections is if you don't win the match of the series, you are fair game because anyone can say anything and you can't prove them wrong.

"It's not a very popular thing to say at the moment because we lost the Ashes, and that was devastating, but the reality is that most things went pretty well during the Ashes.

"Selection wise I was really pleased until the fifth Test."

In defining "most" Hilditch will doubtless claim that an audit of the key performance indicators revealed Australia won the "things" 51% to 49%.