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Vindicate

I still can't fathom what Clark must have done to warrant omission, it's one thing to hope your strike bowler comes good and give him a trot in a tour match to find out - but Studsy hasn't improved and should have been dropped for Clark, who is no McGrath but the closest thing we have to the great man.

The Old Batsman

I liked Jason Gillespie on the radio here who said, 'I never had a clue about pitches mate. I've got no idea what it's going to do'. The consensus [for what's it's worth] was that if it's going to do anything, it'll do it for the first 50 overs. It'd be an act of supreme balls if ponting won and bowled tho'.

Bopora's Ballbag

will be a draw,no way are we going to get a full days play on any of the 5 days

sid smith

Friday and Sunday look okay.

http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/weather/uk/wm/birmingham_forecast_weather.html

But you're prolly right about the draw.

Tony

Boycott & Hayden are having an entertaining joust on TMS. There is even a sense that it might go past joust to stoush.

Note:

1. Spar.

2. Joust.

3. Stoush.

4. Punch up.

Adsy

Merv actually had a good observation on the telly before (I think) - when evaluating conditions, "look up and not down". That is, ergo, therefore, don't worry about the pitch and worry about the weather/atmospheric conditions.

I'm sure it made sense. Seemed like it did at the time.

Tony

What's going on? Vindi and me are outnumbered by Englishers.

Must be a rain break thing.

Ballbag, Manchester's in England, right? I heard they speak English there.

Tony

Reinforcements!

Ads, I listened to Merv for a couple of minutes.

Then I turned back to the radio.

m0nty

Koertzen sounding very disapproving of any play today.

Tony

He gave the day out.

Meanwhile.

They are showing highlights of Cardiff. Why aren't they showing highlights of Australia vs. West Indies from the SCG when Bevan hit the winner off the last ball?

Tony

In one season Before the Bounce has gone from a fine footy show to unwatchable tripe.

m0nty

Struggling to find a common thread between #10 and #11, Tone.

Tony

Flicked over to AFL Teams and lobbed on a dreadful ad for BTB in which Dud Frawley pretended to be French.

m0nty

Ah yes. Spud by name, spud by nature.

BtB has always been low rent though, let's be honest.

m0nty

Apparently drainage at English grounds is pretty pish-poor.

Tony

Speaking of "piss" poor, my Cricinfo limerick:

There once was a man named Flintoff
Who fancied a pint of Smirnoff
His gait, quite unsteady
"It's my knee," cried Our Freddie
Then he spewed and continued to quaff
Ophuph Hucksake

Not quite a limerick, but I lobbed this at a gloating Pom co-worker after the second Test:

"My name is Freddie Flintoff,
I bowl and then I bat,
And then I stack my pedalo
Just like a drunken prat."

Boy, Watson is actually going to open? What on earth did "Buck" Rogers do/say in the dressing room during his debut to have him permanantly declared persona non grata?

m0nty

Play due in 70 minutes apparently.

Russ

Ricky opens up with a non sequiter: "best way for us to win is to bat first... bit of time lost in this game".

Just enough time for things to go horribly wrong this evening.

m0nty

Toss Ponting calls heads, and it's a heads and, unsurprisingly, he's batting. "The best way for us to win is to bat first," he says. Watson in and will open the batting in place of Hughes. "Phil found things a little tough...Shane got some useful overs under his belt [in the warm-up game]." No Stuart Clark. Again...

About fvcken time Punter.

m0nty

Although if our luck is holding, it will hoop about in the humidity like flubber.

m0nty

AB on Fox reckons we can peel off 0-100. Then again, last time I turned on Fox they were talking up us knocking up 550 in the fourth innings. Mozzing bastards.

m0nty

Paper Cut looking energetic. I have a bad, bad, bad feeling about this.

m0nty

Ah crap, Haddin broke a finger in the warm up. Manou in.

Russ

Jesus, we are in the midst of a nickname crisis. Klutz out with a broken finger following the toss! Manou in.

m0nty

I have Haddin as the new captain of my Ashes Dream Team.

m0nty

Freddie and Anderson bowling too short. Good sign, even though they are getting swing.

m0nty

What's Manou's nickname? Verboard?

m0nty

That was a better over from Anderson.

m0nty

Kat a tad lucky on that elbee shout. Lucky that he had Dar up his end, so to speak.

Soups

63 after the 15 overs of fielding restrictions are complete...

m0nty

Jim is now blowing sunshine up Paper Cut's orifices, but it must be said that Paper's showing a lot less patience than really befits a long-term opening batsman. He is showing a straight bat to a good many deliveries but plays too many false shots to mark him as a true Test match opener on this form. If he can survive his way to a score it won't be due to 100% good technique.

m0nty

They are certainly peeling off the runs against Onions and showing a wide bat to Broad.

Russ

Paper's batting has been a little reckless, but at least he has shown the straight bat more often than not.

Krab gone. Seemed an ambitious shot, and a tad disrespectful to Swann. The regularity with which our batsmen gift their wickets to numpty spinners is remarkable.

m0nty

Australians regularly disrespect cod ordinary off spinners and they regularly make us pay. Poor shot to a shyte ball.

Soups

Where is Krab's patience? The first over of off-spin! C'mon Punter.

Soups

Paper has passed his 2nd highest Test score of 41 and is well onto beating his highest 78...

m0nty

Punter looking veeeeeery scratchy.

Russ

50 to PC. Short subdued celebration, followed by a sound defensive shot. Good to see.

m0nty

Five English bowlers, all chucking pies. Hard to credit how ropey they all look compared to the first innings at Lord's.

m0nty

The most threatening part of the game for the Australian batsmen seems to be misjudging the bounce on the odd occasion, as Kat did for his wicket and Punter almost has done as well. Playing down the V would be optimal, I think.

m0nty

1/126 at the close. That's about as good a result as could have been hoped for. England looks like the rabble they were in Cardiff. The Aussies are playing fast and loose but getting away with it for the most part. Paper Cut thinks he's Haydos II but he's not that good - but the Poms are making him look decent. Punter survived some dodgy footwork which is promising. No rain tomorrow so I hope it's sunny with no swing and a lot of pain to come for the arrogant limey bastards.

Tony

When I went to bed I wasn't expecting to wake up and find Australia 1/126.


Wasn't expecting Ponting to win the toss.


Wasn't expecting Haddin to break his finger. What did he do: drop it? Boom! Ti... sigh.

Tony

Manou = Guano.

Tony

Or, Guanos. Like Haydos.

Tony

By the way, Monty, Russ & Soups, superb work by you three. "You're a better mans than I am, Gunga Dins."

Tony

Haddin broke his finger after the toss?!?

Big stuff from Cheat Andrew Strauss to allow a change to the team-sheet.

Now that Haddin is injured again (Anyone remember Luke Ronchi?) and the reserve wicky is playing, there is space in the squad for a reserve batsman.

Or another all-rounder. Shane Lee?

Tony

Good news!

Murali is retiring in 2010. Just in time to be drafted by the Gold Coast Gazzas.

Bad news!

The ICC won't be confiscating his statistics under the Proceeds of Crime act.

Bruce

Well bugger me. Well done Papercut.

M0nty I think you might be overstating the openers classification. Facing up to the new ball will produce plenty of play and misses and false shots, it's the ability to put them behind you and put the next one away for four if it's there to be hit that makes for a good opener.

Mannou's selection means we are effectively well over 150 now as there are 30 byes that won't be pissed away in the Poms' innings.

The Don has risen

Tony have a cold shower.

The Umpire at the bowler's end asked the umpire at Square leg whether a fair catch had been taken.

The answer was yes.

Camerawork did not show this to be wrong.

This looks a very dead track

Tony

Don.

I agree.

The pitch is dead.

RT

Great to see Manou in, really hope he makes some runs. Looks like the finger will keep the Byemachine out for Headingly as well. May as well forget him for the rest of the tour and draft someone else in.

Feel sorry for Stu.

If Stud gets carted again then however successful Hilf has been and Bruised Toenail may be, the selectors should immediately resign en masse.

Adsy

Papercut apparently the first right handed bat since Slogger Slatts.

From watching the highlights on Fox Sports, he tried to bat like him too.

Adsy

Speaking on Manou's moniker; the ground announcer apparently introduced him as "Garry" instead of Graham.

By extension, no gnews is good gnews

m0nty

Other possible Manou nicknames:

Nthemoon
A-mano
Knighted (if he plays well)
The Saint (i.e. Manou from heaven, but only if he plays REALLY well)

via collins


Crikey there's a lot of blather going on about Our Boy Hughes being dropped.

Surely it's a rite of passage for OZ openers? 10 or so game of blinding genius, 7 or 8 failures, off to Coventry for a while, and back for a stellar career. Haydos, Graeme Wood, Slater - okay, get dropped several times in the latter's case.

Tone, Boycott versus Haydos sensational on the wah-less. What a gem Haydos is - hope he doesn't get sucked into Channel 9 hell any time soon.

Tony

I thought that meant they were arguing about Hughes at Crikey.

Hughes will be alright... if he has the stuff. If he hasn't, he hasn't.

Thought both Haydos and Boycs gave as good as they got. But I was most surprised by Dos, who was both feisty and interesing to listen to, despite the odd slippage into "the greatness of Test cricket" type slop. If he gets a gig in Aus, here's hoping it's on ABC, not LCD Nine.

Tony

Hoping also we get away to a good start tonight.

The Poms have had a chance to think about last night's pies, while Ponting and Watto will be trying to re-establish their innings. And a 10:30 start combined with the chance of juicy atmospherics could well provide early problem.

Heads down, lads, steady as she goes.

Tony

Nope. Starting at 11:00.

Tony

Well, fvck.

Watto out first ball of the day.

Tony

So much for "Watson the key at dry Edgbaston".

Ominously, there is a film on Fox Showtime called Doomsday.

Adsy

Oh. My. Fvcking. God.

Tony

Did I say "ominously"?

Hussey out first ball.

Onions on a hatrick.

Fvck. Fvck. Fvcketty. Fvck.

Tony

Onions peels off a peach of a first over.

And now the bastard crowd are in full soccer taunt mode.

Stupid Watto. Stupid, stupid Hussey.

Big Ramifications

Other possible Manou nicknames:

Nthemoon
A-mano
Knighted (if he plays well)
The Saint (i.e. Manou from heaven, but only if he plays REALLY well)

Manou = Rene Arnoux

Accept no substitutes.

Tony

A substitute.

Manou = Adolphe Menjou.

Bruce

Didn't Shameless get rolled without offering the last test?

FFS!

Tony

Yep.

Off Freddie at Lords.

Both dismissals point to errors of judgment based on confidence issues.


"To lose one off-stump may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose two looks like rubbish."

~~ Oscar Madison, sportswriter

Bruce

Well played sir.

Samir Chopra

I reckon the selectors meant to drop Hussey. Poor Phil saw the sheet with a name that started with H, went on with a U, included an E, and pulled the trigger on himself. After that hasty Twitter, he had to be dropped.

Tony

The way Hussey is getting out, Samir, you could make a case that he's trying to drop himself.

Tony

Ponting out.

Playing a rubbish hook to a high bouncer.

What an awful shot!

Tony

He left the bouncer the ball before. What's wrong with repeating the leave?

What's more: it was so high, he could barely reach it.

Idiot.

Samir Chopra

Yeah, the leaves indicate (to a Freudian) a reluctance to engage with the game, a symbolic withdrawal from the conflict. Perhaps Huss would like to just, as The Humungus said, "walk away".

Tony

Onions? Richard Ellison, more like. Shit. A. Brick.

Tony

We're going to need the rain to save us.

Samir Chopra

Woah. Even as I typed in that last comment, a batsman whose hooking and pulling I much admire has gone ahead and shat all over himself with a crap hook shot. Not a nice way for the captain to go.

Tony

What was that? "the chance of juicy atmospherics could well provide early problem"?

Yes, you are right. That should read problems, plural!

Tony

Tally time!

Katich -> crap shot.

Hussey -> crap non-shot.

Ponting -> crap shot.

Shit.

Tony

Fark!

Big inny to Clarke from Richard Ellison.

Big shout for LB.

Lucky for Clarke.

Tony

Hooray!!!!

Mikey has finally said something worthwhile.

"I can't stand it when people say the West Indians can't play swing bowling. No one likes good swing bowling."

Precisely.

By the way: the ball is swinging. Hooping and looping, actually.

m0nty

Come on the sun.

Tony

Yes. Sun. How come we keep having to bat in swervy conditions?

Tony

Bet everyone is thinking what I'm thinking.

No, not North vs. Carlton is a lucklustre affair, even if it is.

When England bat, the pitch will lose this morning's edge, the air will clear, and the only ball movement will be off the bat to the ropes.

Tony

Dropped!

Freddie dropped Clarke off Richard Ellison off an absolute sitter.

Samir Chopra

Now Clarke gone - to the naked eye that looked a little down leg-side.

Tony

Clarke out.

LB off Jimmy.

That's missing leg.

Less out than the one Aleem Dar didn't give off Onions.

Rudi hates Australia.

m0nty

Even to the naked Hawkeye.

Tony

The only way Rudi can have given that out is if he wanted to give it out.

Get Billy Doc back. He wouldn't have given that out for a lifetime's supply of rum, Red Stripe and... ummm, breadfruit?

Tony

North out.

Caught behind by Prior off Jimmy.

Lucky snag by Prior. Lucky it stuck.

Another rubbish shot!

Tony

Just enough time for us to be all out by lunch.

Tony

Studs out first ball.

LB leaving it.

Clearly too high.

Typical Rudi going with the crowd.

Note: We are still a fiasco.

Tony

Big shout for LB by Broad to Adolphe Menjou.

Clearly not out. Clearly we are lucky Rudi wasn't the umpire.

Tony

Manou bowled by Anderson.

Lunch.

Worst Aussie session since, well, Lords.

Ball moving around all over the shop.

Expect Nasser Hussain and Graham Thorpe to come out and knock up a casual 300 or so.

Tony

Anderson 4/14 off 13 balls.

Yer fvcken kidding, aren't ya?

murph

Fucking joke.

Tony

Idea! Australia should declare and get England in while the ball is still swinging.

Tony

Warning! The CricInfo chat box is a nightmare of gloat.

Vindicate

Knew this was going to happen as soon as BJ and the boys started crapping on about Aus being 1-121 and having the advantage, quality mozz boys - well done. On the upside the poms have to bat in this too, unless we have a "handy" 11th wicket stand which will net us another 40 runs and leave the sun enough time to come out and stop the ball swinging.

m0nty

I noticed shadows appearing on Merv's face during the lunch twaddle. Typical weather luck.

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