SECOND TEST: LORDS

"We've learnt lessons from that and we've got a little bit of momentum from that fifth day which we are looking to build on in the first couple of days in this Test match."

~~ Andrew Strauss

Can England seize the momentum for the Second Test? Form suggests not. Despite fine-tuning their Ashes campaign against an admittedly abysmal West Indies, in Cardiff their batting was sloppy, their fielding lacklustre, their bowling toothless.

On the other hand, Australia, despite a spasmodic lead-in, had the momentum but failed to capitalise on day five.

As a perpetually pessimistic Australian fan I loathe it when we fail to drive home the advantage. We should be 1-0 up. If we were, this series would be over - just the way I like it. But it's not over, far from it. England are still in the contest and any closing of the gap, wide as it was in Cardiff, will make it that much harder for Australia to win.

The question is: can England close the gap? In short: if Australia are, as they say at the track, "better for the run" (especially Johnson), no.

But. Missed chances haunt.

Comments

[Tony]

"Glove in the Time of Choler."

A stupid, albeit snooty, pun is all I've got on that other business.

[m0nty]

Beware the wounded Flintoff.

[Tony]

Indeed. He's likely to come out and take a bag and make a swag.

[Throbber]

Above all else they bowlers need to bowl the Poms out twice in a match.
Are we confident they can actually do that?

[Yobbo]

Im not confident either side can do that.

[Hangover Black]

I hope Mitch has used the last few days trying to rediscover his South African outswinger to the lefties.

[Bruce]

Quite a lot of showers predicted over the next few days.

I hope there won't be too much time lost.

[Throbber]

Sunny as you like here at the moment.

[Tony]

Wish the Fox bobbleheads would stop talking about how much playing at Lords means to Straya. Law of averages, and all that...

And all this:

nothing can disguise the fact that the pitch at Cardiff was another in the seemingly endless line of flat tracks that many Test venues around the world seem to be churning out.

Sadly, Lord's is one of the worst offenders with last year's pitch for the Test against South Africa being one of the flattest ever seen. It would have served for a draw over ten days, let alone the customary five.

If it's a flatty, then another batathon is odds on.

[Tony]

Crooky:

Andrew Miller: "Gleaming weather here at the moment. The rumours had been of rain, but the sun is shining brightly at the moment. A few dense clouds around and about though, so stoppages are not out of the question today."

[pat]

Whichever nation acknowledges its limitations (and both teams have many), and sticks to the basics in all aspects of the game will win.

Strauss' suggestion that England actually had momentum indicates that as is usual with the Poms, reality is fiction and fiction reality.

The 1st Test was no Dunkirk for the Poms. As solid, simple and gutsy as Swann, Anderson and Monty were they were let off by some strange bowling, extremely poor bowling in the case of Johnson, and missing bowlers in the instance of Hilfenhaus. The Poms were gifted a draw from the jaws of defeat. That defeat after a huge 1st Innings score on a dead pitch, that should have seen England fighting for the win and Oz scarping a draw.

The role reversal indicates who had momentum. But, momentum's got nothing to do with it now. We can forget the 1st Test as should the Poms.

My advice to Oz - forget about it. Just keep it simple.

[Tony]

Agreed.

The tight cricket we played in the first two Tests in SA is the way to go.

Strauss won the toss. England will bat.

[Tony]

Harmison not picked.

I thought he was the Great White Mope.

[Tony]

The Old Batsman, the Lords lowdown:

Six matches, six draws. First innings totals in those games: 551-6; 528-9; 553-5; 298, 277, 593-8. The teams batting last in those games scored: 537-9; 214-4; 89-0; 282-9; 269-6; 393-3.

In those six matches, England took, in order, 19 wickets; 14 wkts; 10 wkts; 19 wkts; 16 wkts; 13 wkts.

[Tony]

Good toss to lose?

I'll get back to you at stumps.

[Tony]

Mark Waugh's nose is a prominent organ.

[Tony]

The openers aren't exactly setting the joint on fire. They gots no rhythm. Dead pitch, too.

Speaking of openers. Warnie and Athers have started alright.

[Tony]

The Hilf's showing signs, but.

[Tony]

Johnson, urk. Time for Siddle, maybe.

[Tony]

That's better, Studs. 150+ bouncer.

[Tony]

False dawn. Followed up the bouncer with two four balls.

[Tony]

Edgbaston 2005 redux. England 0/100 at lunch? At least Ponting didn't send them in. Well, I suppose he did in a way: he called "heads" and lost. Idiot.

[Tony]

Ponting has a knack of moving a fieldsman, only to have the batsman hit a catch through where the fieldsman was the ball before.

[Throbber]

The pitch looks like another road.
Poms are trying to follow the indians lead and go for all draws and hope to flue one win.
Terrible.

[Tony]

Took the very words right out of my keyboard, Throb.

[Tony]

Siddle on. Not before time. Which is saying something after just 36 minutes.

[Throbber]

Great - Siddles first ball sits up nicely asking to be smacked.

[Bruce]

Studsy stunk.

[Throbber]

What just happened? Johnson made Cook play and miss???????

[Tony]

Studs back on from the other end, and he's already bowled three good balls. That is to say, he's now bowled a total of three good balls.

[Tony]

Ponting tried the old "ball's out of shape scam". That's desperate.

[Tony]

How old's Bumble? 19? Talk about fame struck.

[Throbber]

ooohhh the stones are in the house!!!! FFS

[Tony]

Drinks.

Dreadful, dreadful first hour.

[Russ]

Complete and utter rubbish so far. If we wanted to play a handicap match we could have just started with an old ball and a 50 run deficit.

[SaggyGreen]

Bugger me, 15 overs in the first hour.

[Throbber]

After that little cameo from Nasser - hopefully Johnson will bag a wicket.

[Tony]

Studsy back to work: short, slow, wide, hit me.

[Throbber]

So much for that.

[Bruce]

FFS this is embarrassing. He has fallen apart on the most public of stages.

Get your arm up for goodness sake.

He may set a world record for most long hops in a day.

[Russ]

Three balls there or thereabouts from Studs. Three balls of absolute rubbish. Was lucky to only go for eight in the over.

And gosh, don't our bowling stocks look poor when one seamer is struggling. A spinner who won't spin it on day one and some dodgy part-timers aren't much of an alternative... worrying.

[Throbber]

Dizzy fell apart in a similar fashion four years ago if I recall correctly.

[Tony]

I usually go to bed at tea. Today I might break with tradition and go to bed at lunch.

Or sooner.

Studs another two fours.

Rubbish.

[Russ]

If Cook was out of form this morning, Studs is doing a damn fine job trying to play him back in. Hot and cold is one thing, I expect that, but this is complete shit.

I'm almost pining for Slot.

Really really pining for Sarf.

[Tony]

It's hard to see Studs keeping his place in the side if he continues to bowl these pies. Especially since the Poms will continue to serve up roads to suck the life out of his bowling.

[Throbber]

Yeah surely he's gone for the next match - Sarf should get a run and Slot is suppost to be fit by then.....

[Tony]

That "Aussies always rise to the occasion at the hallowed Lords" meme is a little off beam.

Meanwhile: Haddin, four byes.

[Tony]

Oops-a-Klutzy. More byes.

[Tony]

And again.

Although, how they were not given wides is beyond me.

[Russ]

Throbber, Dizzy wasn't as bad as made out. Just over 3 rpo at Lords' for no wickets, two-for at the best economy rate in the team at Edgbaston, and a shocker against Vaughan at Old Trafford. He wasn't taking wickets, he hardly looked like taking wickets, and he couldn't seem to stem the runs when they went after him, but for the most part he didn't bowl complete shite.

Beautiful glovework from Klutz against Siddle: several dropped takes, byes galore.

[Tony]

0/100.

Is it too soon to play for the draw?

[Throbber]

Russ - yeah fair point, he wasn't anything like as bad as Johnson, but he did lose it a bit then.... you could see it in his demeanour.... he couldn't buy a wicket and that was doing for him.
Another aspect - it was towards the end of a very good career - not the beginning of one..... tho if Johnson continues like this it may well be the end of a career.

[Russ]

Have to mention too, loved the headline this morning:

Hughes tougher than Tugga He is a lot tougher than I was at the same age, says Waugh

Which I take to mean that Our Phil will average about 30 for the next eight years then?

[Russ]

F**k, now Siddle has lost the plot. Just stick it on the spot for 10 overs ya twats.

[Tony]

Tony T, June 4, 2008, comment 53: "His action lacks fluency and repeatability, too, which is a bummer on a less than skittish pitch."

[Tony]

I take back any hint of a suggestion that Australia might be better for the run.

[Throbber]

I'm so annoyed - Before Cardiff I was going to back a 0-0 series at 100-1 and I thought "nah it'll never happen!" What a dipstick.

[Tony]

Lunch.

0/126.

That's the worst session I can remember Australia ever producing.

[Russ]

Lunch. So, gents (and ladies). Worse or better than the first session at Edgbaston in 2005?

For those who've blocked it out, the score was 1/132. The score today: 0/126

[Throbber]

I was there at Edgbaston - possibly the most depressing session of cricket I've ever had to endure..... till today maybe.

[Tony]

Put it this way: if England are all out 400 at stumps then I'll take it.

[Throbber]

Not sure thats gunna happen somehow Tony.

[Tony]

Would you believe 2 for 500 and a shed load of dropped catches?

Meanwhile, Gary Lyon is doing Elvis impersonations on the Footy Show.

It's a tough night all round.

[Throbber]

I find that hard to believe.

[Adsy]

I never thought I'd say this but I'm turning over to the golf.

[pat]

As a mere couch sportsman it nevertheless never ceases to amaze me that a sportsman, being selected as the best of his kind and judged the nation's most elite and talented, can deliver a series of atrocious performances far below what one expects of an average exponent.

Can Johnson have suddenly lost all the skill that brought him to his position in the team? He's got nothing and can't even deliver that in a consistently average manner. It must be psychological.

Whatever it is it has infected Siddle and Klutz has succumbed once again to his abysmal wicketkeeping ways.

These boys need to get their heads right and they have a lunch break to do it. If they don't then this is going to get very ugly.

[Tony]

You think you know why Freddie is retiring? Knee? IPL spundoolix? Wrong:

Andrew Flintoff to star in pedalo TV advert

Andrew Flintoff is to revisit one of his most infamous moments – the pedalo affair – for a new television advert.

[Tony]

The Spirit of Cricket says it's time to start a fight.

[Tony]

There was an ad on Foxtel the other day spruiking up a show on the History Channel: Stalin, starring Robert DeNiro. So I had a look just then and I'm thinking Bobby is barely recognisable. No matter how hard I looked I couldn't see Deniro. Turns out it was Robert Duvall.

There's a parallel here.

Australia are barely recognisable as a cricket side. So it was, in fact: they are actually the West Indies.

[Tony]

Don't put you magic beans on Klutz holding a chance. That last one from Hilfy nearly bounced right out of his gloves.

[Tony]

Ads between balls?!?

Foxtel have clearly had enough, too.

[pat]

The one after the one that nearly bounced right out of Klutz's hands did bounce right out of his hands.

[Tony]

Superb work at Jrod:

The Gaz Man: "Haddin couldn't catch an STD off Gilly’s wife at the moment."

[Tony]

Could it get any more farcical.

Haddin drops Cook off a Hilf no ball.

[pat]

Klutz drops the no-ball wicket.

Whatever good work is getting done in front of the wicket Klutz sucks the confidence from behind the wicket.

[Russ]

I'm lost for words. Is it bad that we missed a wicket, or good that we missed it twice in the same ball. Good over from Hilf mind, nice movement, on the spot.

[Tony]

You know the old saying: "good ball, good shot, good fielding, good cricket"?

That was the reverse.

[SaggyGreen]

Can't watch anymore. Bed. The horror.

[Russ]

Ouch. To be fair to Ritz, that came back at him like a rocket. Michael Holding was extremely unsympathetic when he whinged about it being dropped.

[Tony]

It gets worse.

Hauritz drops a catch off Strauss and fvcks his finger in the process.

One bowler down, no batsmen down, pray for rain.

[pat]

Has this day now reached its lowpoint for Oz with Ritz dropping the catch and busting his hand?

[pat]

Unless Johnson makes a massive miraculous turn around that's 2 bowlers down.

[Tony]

Trent Bridge, 1989: Day 1 - Australia 1st innings 301/0 (GR Marsh 125*, MA Taylor 141*).

Just sayin'.

[Throbber]

Is ritz being out a good thing?

Warne is in the UK now.... can we get him back for the next test please????

[Russ]

Ritz might be back yet. Dislocated can be bad, but sometimes they pop out, pop in, without a problem. Depends whether he's stuffed the tendon during the impact.

[Tony]

Rio Conchos on Fox classics. Richard Boone's one of my favourite actors.

[Tony]

Yawn. Another four byes. This time straight through Klutzy's legs.

[Tony]

And now a single straight through Ponting's legs.

Is there a state of farce worse that pear shaped?

[pat]

Byes are 15, 11 due to pathetic keeping.

[Tony]

Would you believe overthrows now?

[Throbber]

Can Klutz catch at all?

[Throbber]

Oh good Studs first ball back and its hit for 4.

[Tony]

You know how we've all worried about the bad old days? Well, it 1985 again.

[Russ]

I'd believe anything. Klutz's footwork is atrocious as usual. A crooked bouncing throw shouldn't go through a test keeper's hands.

Oh, and shock horror. Studs is still bowling tripe.

[Tony]

Arvo drinks.

0/187.

Is that a day one record?

[Throbber]

Highest opening partnership at lords since 1938 (or thereabouts) for england.
Good effort

[Throbber]

The bad news is I'm about 14 miles as the crow flies from Lords..... and I can see lots of blue sky.

[Throbber]

Well bugger me.

[Russ]

Dear god, Studs has got one on line, and Cook was so surprised he missed it. 1 for more than I care to know.

[Tony]

Wicket!

Cook, LB, Studs.

1/196.

Plumb.

Good riddance to Cook. If he got a hundred he would have got his name on the boards at Lords when the bowlers deserved all the credit.