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Big Ramifications

We got a nickname for Cooley yet? Could we go for "Coolabah" [ie: Coolabah Cooler?] Or maybe "West Coast" Cooler, or another brand? Or if ya really wanna get obscure: "Alcopops"?

That's right, kiddies. Alcopops have been around since before you were born, back when Goths were Goths and not Emus. Or Emos or whatever the hell it is they are called nowadays. Alcopops were once called coolers.

/I'm going to take your advice now, Big Tone. Off to get a grip. Or maybe GYOFB.

The Don has risen

I am in confusion about this series.

I am not really confident about our attack.
I am yet to be convinced that Johnson can consistently swing the ball.
Siddle is merely a trier and not all that quick.
Clark has the technique for English conditions but is he fit?
Lee has not looked good for sometime. ( The reason the hierarchy want him is that he can bat a bit.)
Our Batting should be very shaky in England however who do the poms have that is fit.
I think Sidebottom would cause our side a lot of grief if fit as he swings it late but is he fit.
Ditto Flintoff.
Their spinners are either off form or highly promising rather than experienced test bowlers.

Moreover after 2005 everything will be an anticlimax.

Russ

Biggy, not as far as I'm aware, but nicknames often pass me by, or change unexpectedly, while others linger but remain indecipherable.

We are short a few names though. Let's run through it so we can get it covered. No point creating a permanent glossary though, it'd only change:
Hughes remains unchristened, except as perhaps "Our Phil"
Katich remains the Krab, or the Kat
Ponting was Punter, but then lost on account of being a horrid and unimaginative captain, so we need something there.
Clarke was Pup, but that name is unbecoming of a v/c, and indicates tolerance of his wasteful batting.
Hussey remains Shameless, but might need something new if his form remains this bad.
North is unchristened (I think).
Haddin may have one, other than Cheat, or Fumbles, but I forget what.
McDonald is the Boiled Owl. Johnson is Studs. Siddle is the Sizzler. Clark is Sarf(raz). You can hunt the archives for why (to be honest I am not sure I know anymore).
Hauritz is an unimaginative Ritz. Hilfenhaus an unimaginative "Hilf"
Lee was Bing, but Chris Gayle's onslaught and later comment led him to being designated "Slot Lee"
Manou is unnamed and anonymous.
Watson is "Paper Cut", despite that may be the only injury he's yet to have.

As far as I know, none of the coaching staff (or the selectors) have nicknames.

In other news... Interesting attack the Lions are playing. I wonder how many will get to play the real thing by the end of summer. (I'm hoping most of them, for obvious reasons).

Bopora's Ballbag

Tony, yes I am back, after the whitewash, I decided to make a return for the 2009 series. I am really looking forward to it but have to admit that you guys will probably win the series 2-1 (due to 2 tests ending in draws and you guys letting us win the final test as a gesture of goodwill). Have you managed to view an excellent programme on the BBC called Empire of Cricket, generally about how we gave the game to the old empire, but it goes trhrough each country per programme, and the australia episode just about sums up why you spank us on a regular basis. You don't believe you have to be a certain class to play a sport where our establishment have still got there heads firmly rooted up their own arses. Anyway I am back and looking forward to the banter and getting grief due to my poor grammar.

Bopora's Ballbag

also Monty has decided after taking 6 wickets for Northans all year that he is not blessed with the gift of experimentation, and should stick to his bread and butter, so not to much to worry about there then, Flintoffs ahem injury (drink problem) re-surfaced its ugly head yet again in Belgium, if by some miracle we have you guys on the ropes and need to go for the kill, good old captain negative will do the opposite, Bopora will be well and truly found out as a flash in the pan who does not have the head for these occasions, Broad well need I say more, and that leaves poor old KP, who as talented as he is, when these other clowns behave as predicted will get frustrated and give his wicket away cheaply as per usual when things are not going right. I reallly hope I am wrong but even with your unexperienced and unbalanced side, you have Mitchell Johnson and we don't

nick

When did Slot last bowl like this?

*Steve Harmison (rfm) 8.0 2 13 1 1.62

Russ

nick, pretty recently if you look at the last couple of overs:

Steve Harmison (rfm)  7.0 2  6 1 0.86
Steve Harmison (rfm) 10.0 2 28 1 2.80
nick

What's got into the Krab and Shameless? They're blazing away! Have they decided to bat like Phil? They were plodders in the Windies...and in India...and Oz...and Yarpland. Desperation or plan?

Tony T

Well, that's just typical. Just as I walk in and turn on the TV, Krab gets out.

Tony T

I see Ponting got out caught in slips chasing a wide one.

Hats off to Mickey Arthur.

Hats off, too, to all those bowlers in the history of the game who advocate dry lines to batsmen who drive.

Tony T

Haddin is Klutz.

Tony T

Hauritz should be the Ritz Brother.

Look it up.

Tony T

Manou can be Guano.

Tony T

North should be called Peter.

Look it up.

nick

Hopefully he won't f**k up as much as Peter.

Tony T

If Thommo had his way:

"I thought Ricky was crap when he was first captain in 2004 and nothing much has improved since then. I'm not the only one who thinks that ...everyone at home thinks he’s shit at the captaincy."

It would be Shitty Ponting.

Tony T

How about that! I went down stairs to look at the Foxtel and the first ball I see Clarke gets out to a lame wristy swat at a wide one.

That's two balls for two wickets.

Russ

Nice Tony. I knew Klutz had one already...

Might I suggest for Clarke = Mr. Bingle = One-bagger.

Tony T

You wouldn't fvcken read about it. Well, you would actually. Right here.

I just finished brushing my teeth and went back into the TV room and North got out first ball I saw.

Hat-trick!

m0nty

I am not making any foolhardy predictions. I said in a private forum last week that with Dean Cox deflated, my beloved Hawks "had the bye" last week. That turned out... poorly.

Seven bloody New South bloody Welshmen in the bloody side today. I know Siddle's got a spot, but couldn't they have tried the ranga?

I get the feeling Mitchell Johnson is going to give both bowling and batting averages a serious nudge this series, as he did in the last.

Lord, how I hate David Lloyd.

Russ

Bresnan has 3-for. For all the talk about the weakness of the Australian spin attack, in the last few series it has been the weakness of the Australian spin defense that has been lacking.

Russ

Wait, Bresnan isn't a spinner... maybe I should go to bed soon...

Mark

Cooley just needs to be 'Cools' - as in 'Don's Party'. In fact, the thought of Troy Cooley bringing along a 17 year old girl to a party as a 'pornographic object' raises a smile or two!

Mark

Um, Russ - you're being sarcastic yes? Bresnan tips the radar gun at 85mph.

Russ

Tired Mark, tired. I was thinking of Rashid, both being Yorkshire all-rounders, and largely unknown to me. Clearly we played spin well for once (it won't last), and it is the swinging, bouncing and seaming ball we can't play... Don's earlier point about playing Lee for his batting has much to merit it. The top and middle order are very vulnerable.

Having said that, given the lack of starts it isn't a bad total for the day. Shameless displaying some form is a welcome change. Australia need one of him or One Bagger to score 500+ runs for the series, and that is no easy task.

Bruce

Perhaps Peter would be a better one for Ponting, as in the personification of the Peter Principle. A man promoted to his level of incompetence. He was very, very good at his job and was promoted again and again until he now finds himself in a position he is not really qualified for with no major prior experience and unable to learn the new job well enough to be successful at it.

Hi flat footed swat to get out was U.G.L.Y.

Krab looked pretty good and did his usual infuriating thing of scoring both sides of point for lines outside off stump and tucking anything straight behind square. It was a rush of blood that saw him flick to fine leg as he'd been pasting Harmy to the point boundary for the preceeding over and a half.

As for Shaemless - I really hope that was a breakthrough innings last night. He seemed to have found his range on the cover drive and that has been missing for 18 months.

North remains unsighted on the tour so far.

RT

North a concern. You would think a fit Paper Cut would have passed him by now but there are no challenges at the moment. Would Haddin at 6, Johnson at 7 be sacrilegious?

Not great when only two front liners pass double figures.

Bring on the bowlers.

Big Ramifications

Ponting = The Gimp
Marcus North = Peter North
Manou = René Arnoux...... or maybe Christina Anu

Tony T

What goes around, etc.

Hussey's been dead out of luck through the last twelve months, regularly getting out via the "that's the one that you get out to when you're having a bad trot" kind of dismissal.

Fingers crossed Serjeant Mahmood dropping him is the stroke of fortune he's been missing.

The commentators don't rate North. They were talking about "whispers from the Aussie camp" saying our selectors would surely have gone with Watson if he was fit. Mind you, it doesn't need the commentators and selectors to reveal to us North's on thin ice.

Big Ramifications

Fintoff = Debbie

Surely someone's come up with that one already.

Pieterson = Pepe Le Pew

Coz of that ridiculous "do" he was sporting a few years back.

Big Ramifications

Fintoff?

I believe his official nickname is "Freddie Flintstone" Flintoff[?]. I accidentally discovered yesterday that Flintstones is US baseball slang for steroids.

As you were, gents.

RT

What have you worked up for Graham Onions, Biggie?

Big Ramifications

Off the top of my head I like "Ivan Milat." The star witness in his trial was an Englishman, a one Mr Paul Onions, from memory. Too lazy to Google it.

RT

VG+

Big Rammer's Mum

Too lazy to Google it?

Christ, that's pretty bloody lazy, son.

Tony T

Graham Onions simply must be Wilson, after the East Fremantle hard man of the 1950s.

Tony T

If you've nothing better to do, and you love WAFL history, stroll on over to Where Are They Now?.

RT

Wilson Onions - now there is a name. Wonder what happened to Archie Dudah? I googled and got Bonzo Dog Doodah Band.....

Tony T

That's because it's Archie Duda.


Doodah: Roger's Wah Wah Rabbits

RT

From Merredin, WA. Kicked 10 goals in a game on at least 2 occasions for the mighty Royals. Ain't the internet grand. He probably knocks the scale over at 20 stone now.

Big Rammer's Mum

Archie Duda was part of the lexicon at my primary school. If you hurt yourself, the expression de rigeur was "Aaargh... chie Duda!"

I served his nephew [or it might have been his grandson?] at a shop where I worked, and I was kinda trying to tell him how much of a legend the old bloke was... and without getting you into litigious hot water by describing the lump of a lad in too fine detail... about the most I got out of him was a blank stare and a "uh." Or it might have been an "ugh." I forget now.

Big Rammer's Mum's Dad

Hey Frenchie. Wanna speak English every now and then?

Tony T

"uh" v. "ugh"

I can see how the comparative essence of their meanings would fade over time.

RT

If it came with a blank stare I'm leaning to "uh" more than "ugh". Call it a 70/30 bet.

RT

I see MacGill, Martyn and Greg Matthews are doing the back-in-the-studio gig on SBS for the Ashes. Interesting combo. Might be worth a look.

Tony T

Saw that. Just completed a post on it.

Tony T

Here youse go:

McGrath told The Australian: "I was just passing through town and Truck (Australian bowling coach Troy Cooley) said: 'Do you want to just come along and say something to the boys?'.
RT

Truck - great nickname.

Truck has been the most talked about coach, every 4 years.

Tony

I used to work with a Truck. He barracks for the Demons, too.

And a mate of mine in Geraldton used to call Brad Hardie Truck, as in Little Red Fire Truck.

Tony T

Brilliant!

No, not that the Aussie bowlers look toothless and the Englands are 0/61.

The England openers are Denley Moor.

Nick

Lee. Only bowled like a man whose spot was in danger after ponting gave him a serve. He'll be in for Cardiff - hauritz won't. Clark, while economical, looked like Gillespie 05 - hopefully he perks up for Cardiff with a little more bounce. Of course, iron gloves haddin dropped one off Clark and gloved north's breakthrough to Clarke at slip, who missed one earlier off Mitch - going the wrong way at 2nd slip! The catchings there from 05 alright...

The Don has risen

The opening partnership was what?

You pick opening bowlers who get opening batsman out early

Nick

Don, Lee should have had a wicket with his first ball - which was plumb (and certainly plumber than iron gloves' martynesque lb) - so maybe you mean we should get some umpires who will give the opening batsmen out?

Yobbo

So, Brett Lee: Still Shit?

Bruce

One swallow does not a girlfriend make.

He's bowled one strong spell - we shall see.

Tony

The Curse of the First Ball I Saw continues. Turned on the telly this morning to watch last night's highlights, only to see Klutz grass another chance.

Bruce

Hughes had better learn to hook or he will spend the entire series picking the ball out of his right armpit. Either that or he is foxing by being dismissed in an almost identical fashion in each innings.

Bopora's Ballbag

very very good, made me giggle

Russ

Just when you think the side might be settled, Slot goes and gets injured. Sarf becomes a certainty, but then the choice is between three underdone players, two of whom struggled in the warm-ups, and the other who didn't get a chance to struggle. I'm leaning towards Hilf; both Owl and Ritz can choke their batting, but if the pitches are flat, in such a long compressed series, that will wear Studs and Sizz down.

Adsy

Hilf could well perform the role Hoggard performed so well in the 2005 series. Talking about that, I just watched the extended highlights of Edgbaston 2005 on Fox Sports before. 2/82 chasing 282 and cruising, 5/130 and starting to struggle then the most horrible collapse at the end of day 4. Giles being gifted 2 wickets (Gilchrist O.T.T - on the take?) and Clarke missing a slower ball full toss from Harmison at 5.52pm.

Twas meant to be but it makes for cringing viewing.

Bopora's Ballbag

Punter always reminds me of that chimp in chester zoo

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