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Scott Wickstein

Australia have won the toss and will bat. Poms going to Mahmood and Panesar.

Gareth

Anderson out, Mahmood in. Interesting. Anderson was swinging it quite impressively on Saturday against WA. Mahmood on the other hand looked a little pedestrian.

Tony.T

Monty is in for TG and Serjeant Mahmood is in for Anderson. No surprises there.

Flinty's lost the toss and Straya will bat.

Tony.T

That was a busy minute.

Let's hope Mahmood stays pedestrian and Monty fails to turn it.

Gareth

Looks like the tragics are settled in for a long day ...

Tony.T

Indeed. What's more, a Perth Test going from 1:30 until 8:30 gives us easterners some juicy dinner-time viewing.

Gareth

They were queueing hundreds deep at the members from 6am this morning. Madness!

Tony.T

Gruesome. That makes for a VERY long day. It will be the same at the MCC members.

Gareth

The Barmy Army are shitting me already.

Tony.T

Barmy Army

Barmy Army

Barmy Army

Barmy Army

Barmy Army

Barmy Army

Repeat.

fm

At least if we win this one, Tony can stop with the anti-mozz "we could still lose this" posts. You're worse than Tim Blair and elections.

Gareth

Note to England bowlers: Amazing what happens when you pitch them up.

Tony.T

No chance. Once you're hooked into mozzing, it's harder to get off than heroin. Or in my case, Coles pitted dates.

Tony.T

Flat-Track is skating on thin ice. He can't afford too many more low scores.

Al

He's not the messiah, he's a very silly boy who can get trapped in front too early in his knock.

Tony.T

Bugger.

Scott Wickstein

2 for 57 and the Poms are getting some pace, bounce and movement. We're in for a hard day at the office chaps.

NOT the ideal time to bring Roy back into the side, I must say.

Tony.T

Yeah, his ability to see off danger and steady the ship doesn't exactly inspire confidence.

Scott Wickstein

No students today, Tony?

Tony.T

Marking, collating, marking, collating, marking, collating.

Scott Wickstein

Marking and collating? That sounds painful.

They are batting like its Test Cricket now.

Tony.T

Not as painful as it sounds, but discomforting, all the same.

I can't see the match here. I have to follow via CI.

Scott Wickstein

Oh f***, Panesar's bowled Langer. Lunch and we're 3 for 69.

Houston, we've got a problem.

Tony.T

What? The? Fuck? Is Langer doing getting out right on lunch? Fuck, I hate it when that happens. It reminds me ONCE AGAIN of bastard Edgbaston.

Russell Allen

The Full Monty...

Monty Goes Bananas...

You can see the headlines in the paper already.

Tony.T

I'm already sick of them.

fm

I blame that f***ing trumpeter. He was really getting on my tits at the start there and I wasn't trying to swing a bat and make some runs. Fatwa on the prick.

Tony.T

I thought local laws probibited him from tootling.

13thMan

In most other sports, the trumpeter would be OK, but as the Poms have acknowledged his influence on events, he should be gagged - or at least included as one of their 11. Make the bastard bat!
Having said all that - full credit to the Poms for trying this time. And I fucking said that the Chef had to go. 5 times out of 5, out due to retardation. For fuck's sake...

Tony.T

FTB Chef has been looking ropey for a while now. Good bowling is revealing those long-held suspicions about his technique could be valid.

fm

If I recall correctly from earlier reports, the trumpeter has to limit his performances to something reasonable, though God knows how they'll enforce that without starting all the hoo haa that occurred in Brisbane. But just now as Clarke starts to look comfortable, he starts up again.

I know it's been beaten up in the newspapers, but I think this is a big deal and not really in the spirit of how cricket used to be played in this country. India, Pakistan, maybe even England -- sure, the crowds are different there. But buggered if I know why we should turn our matches into circuses.

Al

Oh well, let's hope Symonds didn't go out on a bender last night eh?

Tony.T

At four-for-rock-all you don't want to see Sideshow Roy walking out to bat. Where's Steve Waugh?

Russ

Damnit Clarke, that's the kind of shot that got you dropped. Good catch mind.

Tony.T

Yep - same old Clarke. A ton on a friendly track, bugger all when we're in trouble.

fm

Oh Christ. Roy thinks it's a one-day game.

Mr Z

Roy, Roy, Roy. 6,6,4 of Monty...

As McGilvray would say "... rash, I wish he wouldn't do that so early in his innings"

Tony.T

Out.

Yes, I wish he hadn't.

fm

Oh well. I guess I'll get to see how our bowlers make out on this pitch sooner rather than later.

Tony.T

Remember what the pundits always say "You can't judge the game until both sides have batted". Well, they usually say it when the side batting first has flopped.

Tony.T

What the?!? Gilly duck. Is Monty bowling grenades? Is the pitch rotten? Is Monty just a gun?

Gareth

Monty's using the bounce of the pitch to his advantage. It's hardly like he's turning them spectacularly. Symonds played a poor shot, Gilly got done by the bounce.

Tony.T

This is what it says at The Guardian Over-by-Over:

Yet another wicket at a crucial time for England, and yet another batsman has got a start and got out: four of the top six have been out for between 24 and 37. Every time Australia threaten to get away, England somehow scab a wicket.

And even more ominously:

That's tea: those two late wickets for Panesar made it England's session again, with Australia - the magnificent Mike Hussey excepted - struggling on what is really a very good wicket.

Tomorrow could well be a batting paradise. It looks like I might have been right "It could even be a 'good toss to lose'."

Scott Wickstein

Well 4 of the six wickets are through good English bowling, I'm afraid to say. Pup and Sideshow Roy better hang their heads though.

Fucking hell, the more I think of Roy's shot, the angrier I get. I'm going to go out and beat up some innocent granny in the street to vent.

Tony.T

I haven't seen it, but apparently both ball and shot were stinkers. Give her a clip for me.

Tony.T

Just saw Sideshow's dismissal - AWFUL!

Tony.T

Better hope Aleem Dar is as good to Warne. Not saying it was a bad decision, just generous.

Scott Wickstein

And while we're at it, we should strip Perth of Ashes Tests in favour of Hobart for 2010. Place is full of Poms. Why should we give them a home Test?

Scott Wickstein

O'Keefe - " Harmison lacks a real yorker... England want to see stumps flying here."

Maxwell- "He's bowled him, Clark is out..."

Bald traitor!

Tony.T

Shocking fucking decision!

Scott Wickstein

Another disgraceful decision by Rudi. All out 244. Fuck.

Tony.T

How could Rudi give that out? It never even looked close? The Pommy fielders only appealed on spec. They never believed for a moment it was out.

Scott Wickstein

Well done to England's bowlers who did well, but several of our guys need to have A Good Hard Look At Themselves.

A good efford by Shameless though, who knows what might have happened if someone had stuck around.

Tony.T

England none-for at stumps. Nothing surer.

Tony.T

Ditto for Shameless. What a gun.

Is Monty a really good bowler? Or did we just not take him seriously?

Scott Wickstein

Bit of both. Probably better then Vettori. Should be easy enough to cope with if you deal with him with proper respect *cough* Sideshow*

Bing's first two balls go for four.

Dodgy umpiring, mozzing from the radio, Lee getting hammered.. this is 2005 all over again :(

Tony.T

"Dodgy umpiring, mozzing from the radio, Lee getting hammered.. this is 2005 all over again."

In. A. Nutshell.

Scott Wickstein

Bing = the Australian Giles?

Tony.T

He's painful to watch, the way he leaks runs. What's the bet he gets a "wicket" with a no ball?

Tony.T

A dropped chance is ... excuse me ... a monty.

Tony.T

Oooh. Ahhh.

Thank Christ for The Pidge.

Scott Wickstein

Boom Tish!

A wicket! Yay.

Anyone want to join my emerging 'Recall Paul Reiffel' campaign?

Tony.T

Pistol can replace one of today's umpires.

Tony.T

The Guardian readers are bouyant:

However your emails continue to be triumphant. "You said at the start of the England innings that there were 17 overs to be played and we should aim for 50-0," says Jon Dingoor. "Looking at the first four overs, maybe 150-0 would be more realistic?" Steady, Jon, steady.

Scott Wickstein

Ding Dong!

Tony.T

That's my Bing. I never doubted you.

Superb mozzing by the Guardian crowd.

Scott Wickstein

The English are famous for their optimism. You'd think having a crap team for so long would have taught them something.

Hell it's been 20 years since Australia were really crap and we still don't count our chickens.

Strauss looks really secure, and he's due a big score too. I still think England have the edge today.

Tony.T

According to Tubbles the "match is back on an even keel". I don't agree. England just ahead with tomorrow looking like a good day to bat.

Tony.T

You know how I said Lee would get a "wicket" with a no ball? Well, Sky said he did.

Scott Wickstein

Tubbs always was another to wear those rose-coloured glasses.

Scott Wickstein

HAHAHAHA @ no-ball... if that's true.. that's hilarious.

Tony.T

AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope that's not another "crucial" Warne drop.

Scott Wickstein

Dropped catches aren't quite so hilarious. I guess all's square then?

Tony.T

This Collingwood is going to make us pay. He's that sort of pain in the arse.

Scott Wickstein

Mick Malthouse could learn a thing or two from him.

I hate that crunt.

Tony.T

If Collingwood makes us pay, I'm giving up cricket.

Scott Wickstein

Pfft. You are such a quitter. First grog and smokes, and now cricket?

Winners never quit.

But having said that, I'm going to be proactively busy doing something else tomorrow.

Paul B

Jonathan Agnew's having kittens on Test Match Special for the last few overs - sounds like Colly and Strauss are flirting with danger at times...

51-2 is a reasonable mark to make at the end of the day though. Nice to see that we can actually 10 wickets in a day when Monty's in. Seems amazing how much faith Flintoff had in Monty (even after getting smashed for lots in one over), considering it was supposedly him that vetoed him from the Adelaide game.

Tony.T

Who'd ever have thought Warne would drop Pies. That miss is going to haunt me overnight. I'm that sort of pitiful tragic.

As you can probably gather, Paul, ever since Warne dropped Colly I'VE been having kittens. Fits, too. And coniptions.

Snr nubis

Pies, no idea about Clark! What a shame warnie dropped him, 3 for wooda been pretty well placed, for a contest....
Makes for a great build up to melbourne, unless the bogan spins it like a top!! Hmmmmm.

Tony.T

I'm worried about Pies. He's the sort of scrapper who will scratch out a score in these circs. Bastard ginger!

New day tomorrow. Pitch will probably turn into a road.

woody

You worry too much, Tone. I'd be surprised if we got any sort of lead. Top call on the Lee-in-wicket-with-no-ball-but-not-called shocker. McGrath's face when given out was today's mastercard moment.

That Clark is a tidy bugger - I reckon he'll be the major difference this series. He could have had Colly 4 times.

Somebody should tell Huzzzzzzzey that batting at that strike rate is un-australian.

Clem Snide

Channel 9, having covered up Murali's chucking for so long, seem to be covering up for the umpire's errors, or at best missing them. That insufferable goose Chappelli even suggested McGrath should be disciplined for dissent over his silent and remarkably mild show of contempt for the senile and incompetent. I thought Lee's foot seemed awfully far forward for the wicket he took, but we never got to see a close up. By contrast when Lee got Flintoff in Brisbane in the same circumstances, they very much did point out the umpiring error. Also, earlier on, Lee got a genuine edge with a clear noise heard by himself and millions of TV viewers but not by those behind the wicket. Only the bowler gave a full-blooded appeal, and the senile dolt Koertzen went by the majority verdict and gave it not out. For once we never saw the hot spot camera, which would probably have shown another umpiring howler on top of the ludicrous McGrath dismissal.

Yobbo

I was at the game today.

Monty is a good bowler but 3 of his 5 wickets were the batsman's fault. He does bowl a lot like Vettori, Continually attacking off stump and making the batsman make a decision.

Warne's catch was a sitter. You shouldn't drop them when you are standing half way to the boundary and they come at shin height.

Hussey is probably the best batsman in the world.

Harmison bowled 2 good balls all day.

The Barmy Army are fucking great. I sat right in amongst them and they provided more entertainment than the cricket.

"Glenn Mcgrath's pissed himself" "Monty is better than Warney" etc etc.

Great day's cricket all round really.

Yobbo

By the way, WHAT THE FUCK WERE ENGLAND THINKING by playing Giles over Panesar. The mind boggles.

Russell Allen

Giles is a talisman...as a water carrier

Bilbo

I read somewhere that Giles is not a salaried ECB player. He's out here on freelance contract. Prolly thought it was good way to pick up a few bob and get a free holiday.

I'm new here - need a list of nicknames - Who's "Bing".

"Pies" - got that

"Roy" - no prob

"Pup" - easy

But who's "Bing"?

Bilbo

Tony.T

Bing is Brett Lee, after the NSW shopping chain Bing Lee.

bilbo

",,,,,,,,Lunch"

",,,,,and the English are just picking at thier food"

Bilbo

Tony.T

Bilbo, join in at the next thread. It's where today's "action" is.

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