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DJ

Rock paper scissors? Ruler splits?

Tony.T

Well, I didn't expect this:

Cautious England name unchanged XI

England have announced an unchanged team for the second Test at Adelaide, which gets underway in an hour's time. In a move that has been seen as a surprise but hardly a shock, James Anderson has been retained at the expense of both Monty Panesar, the second spinner, and Sajid Mahmood, whose reverse-swing capabilities had impressed in the nets and had made him an outside bet for a call-up.

Scott Wickstein

I don't think the toss is THAT decisive in this match. It's on matches like Bombay in 2004 that you have to worry.

The team that bats first has a nominal advantage only. They still have to bat well.

Tony.T

Fuck!

Flintoff wins a crucial toss

Andrew Flintoff called correctly and won a crucial toss, as England chose to bat first at Adelaide as the second Test against Australia prepared to get underway. After losing the first Test at the Gabba, Flintoff's correct call was a timely boost for his team, on a pitch that is expected to be at its best for batting on the first three days.

Tony.T

I just like to bowl last, Wicki. It generally removes the Bat Last nightmare.

Scott Wickstein

Very true that.

Tony.T

Are you watching the match, Wicky? What's the pitch like?

Tony.T

Strauss early on that shot. Slow pitch, I take it?

Stuey Clark - wicket machine. Drinks break - wicket machine.

Scott Wickstein

Yeah its a bit slow, but there's even bounce, no movement, you can play your shots. Typical Adelaide pitch really.

Tony.T

What can you say about Stuey Clark? I mean apart from "he's better than John McGuire."

Scott Wickstein

He looks like a teachers pet?

England look mentally like they are right under the cosh now. So much for winning the toss and batting.

Mr Z

P'raps that he's the most innocuous looking fast bowler since, well, whenever.

I mean, you had to have been fearful of wicket machines like Lillee, Marshall, Proctor or Hadlee. They looked fierce, or weird in Hadlee's case.

Bruce

2 fer not too many. Good start by the Aussies and Clark should be leading the attack.

Scott Wickstein

Well Pigeon hardly looks devastating either. No one actually crapped their pants facing him. They get out but they don't crap their pants.

Snr Nubi

Warne getting plenty of bounce & turn, great to watch the eyes popping out of Bell & C'scums heads. 1st session summary, England far too cautious, Clarke & Warne have them in a full (Mjr) Nelson.
One can only muse at the tactics / strategy set down by that guru, Fletcher. Picks the wrong 11 & tells the batsmen to be far too watchful on a belter of a strip!

Mr Z

Ok, McGrath might not look fierce, but his potty mouth more than makes up for it.

The (whmecdm) President

Toss is not so important in Australia as the pitches usually have a bit early, flatten out, crumble and turn.

The first session can set the scene very much.

Our annual tonk and piss up game is where the toss is crucial. Team batting second has only won once in 8 years. Batting while drunk is harder than keeping Beazley to two syllables or less per word.

Tony.T

Student in class just said "England are four down." Then he's like "Oops, no their not. They're still two down."

I failed him on the spot.

Tony.T

Then he said they were 2 for 59, at which point I burst out "Nine runs?!? In forty minutes?!?"

Hadn't factored in the Croweaterness of the situation. (I would say "my bad" but that's the worst saying known to man.)

Scott Wickstein

I'll let that pass wide outside off stump.

Can't blame you for failing the student though.

Tony.T

Wicked the way he got my hopes up. I hate it when that happens. Like when Nine are doing yet another replay and you think it's live.

He even said "Colliwobbles - Collingwood's out. So's Bell." Dunno what he was looking at. Maybe it was Maxwell Smart's shoephone.

Tony.T

Two runs an over? Jesus! Fletch's plan revealed: bore them into submission.

Russ

Tire the bowlers into submission anyway. Given we've turned to Clarke it might be working. Is Brett Lee bowling badly? Or as he normally does, which just happens to be unacceptable on an Adelaide road.

Mr Z

As I said somewhere else, Fletcher's plan is for England to bat like Boycott.

Unfortunately, with the team selection, he seems to want them to bowl like Boycott as well.

Scott Wickstein

OMG Nine has seriously listed the sightscreen operator that took a catch at Brisbane for the Classic Catches.

Tony.T

Well, it wasn't a bad grab. Nonchalant.

The CCs stopped being "classic" yonks ago. Now they're just another retail opportunity. The next bloke to snag one in the crowd is a monty to be nominated.

Brett Lee is flippin' hopeless. Unless he finds a surprise ball (other than "Fuck me, that was on the right line and length!") he'll find himself out of the side.

Tony.T

I just saw CrookInfo, Russ. Did you write that comment straight after Bell tonked Lee for two fours? If you did that's premium mozzing.

Russ

I wish, I wrote that sometime between Lee being dragged from his second spell, and the short bit of aggression before the tea interval.

Interesting last half hour coming up. I'd say honours even so far. Maybe slighly in England's favour.

Tony.T

If there's no wicket - Day 1 to England.

Mr Z

Dare one say that Collingwood & Pieterson will go at least 10 runs better this time?

Tony.T

They look set, alright, and our bowling seems to lack penetration. At least that's the impression I got listening to the radio. Sometimes, even when you can't see what's going on, you get the feeling wickets are only a moment away. Not today. Why didn't Stuey bowl more?

As it stands tonight an Aussie win looks doubtful. We better hope England bowl as badly as they did in Brisbane because it's looking like we'll be in for a big chase.

Yobbo

2 wickets and its all over. Pietersen would have been out on the 2nd last ball of the day if McGrath wasn't so old and decrepit.

I wouldn't be utterly suprised to see England bowled out for 350. Still hard for Australia to win from there but not ridiculously so.

Brett Pee

Gotta give a bit of cred to the Pommers for some fight today at least- but their sense of negativity still hits me hard, leaving out the new 'Turbanator' for a bloke who doesn't turn it. The new day promises a quick breakthrough and another late order collapse, can't see the likes of Jones, Giles etc getting too many. Our blokes will love this pitch and will LOVE their attack.

I keep hearing rumours about this Monty Panasar bloke- how he will bowl us out. Can't see it myself. He is a left arm spinner. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just.a.left.arm.spinner. Ok ?

woody

Ponting once again underwhelms with his captaincy. McGrath was only supposed to get in if he was 100%. Well, he is in and he's not. Further good work to go with only 4 bowlers, and then leave the most threatening one twiddling his thumbs half the day.

This whole Panesar thing is getting out of hand. Sure, he's a fine bowler, but he's no Warne. If England are to threaten a win here it will be because Fred(and possibly Anderson) reverses it and Harmy locates his radar.

Yobbo

"This whole Panesar thing is getting out of hand. Sure, he's a fine bowler, but he's no Warne. "

The point is that Panesar is a wicket-taking bowler and Giles is an "all rounder" who doesn't take many wickets but can bat a bit.

If you want to win a test match you need to take 20 wickets. Giles isn't going to help you with that, but Panesar might.

Scott Wickstein

Well, it will be interesting to see how Australia go chasing 600, won't it?

Tony.T

It's shaping up as a mirror image of the first test. We are a monty to bat shit-house when we finally get our turn. How often are we rubbish in this situation? Every test playing nation knows the best way to beat Straya is to bat first, bat us out of the game and then watch us fold. The big question could be whether Flinty enforces the follow-on.

Unless we suddenly find a Lillee, the smart money should be on England to retain the Ashes.

13thMan

Can someone wake me up when this is all over. I just about lapsed into a coma during the second session yesterday, and today has been worse.
Typical old-fashioned Boycott-style English cricket - boring as batshit. Unless we provide the entirely possible predicted collapse, this'll be a draw. The Poms should be on about 500 by now - I saw the ground yesterday, and it was a scoring paradise. Instead, they're on 349 after luch (day 2). We got that in day one in Brissie, and I doubt that that was a better batsman's pitch. If they didn't have Jaapie, they'd be on about 250. What a waste.

Tony.T

There is that, 13. The best thing for Straya now - now that we're unlikely to win - is for the Poms to dawdle on to six hundred in two and a half days and not leave themselves enough time to bowl us out twice.

If we manage to avoid said follow-on, it can only be a draw.

Scott Wickstein

This is painful to watch.

Tony.T

So painful, I'm not even watching it.

Scott Wickstein

Good plan that.

13thMan

Yeah - I couldn't even be arsed going in again today. It's a sad indictment of the much-heralded series of the friggin' century when members can't be stuffed going in to see the second day. Jaapie just got run out though - must have been tired.

Tony.T

Six for - it's a collapse.

Tony.T

Richie went "PING!"

Bruce

B Lee 34 1 139 1 4.08 (8nb, 1w)
GD McGrath 30 5 107 0 3.56
SR Clark 34 6 75 3 2.20
SK Warne 53 9 167 1 3.15 (1w)
MJ Clarke 17 2 53 0 3.11

After barely scraping in a pass mark for the first test Brett Lee is now back at the bottom of the class. Yet somehow retains second favourite for most wickets in the series? Maybe they got confused with most runs conceded.

Stuart Clark is currently $3 for most wickets in the series afer starting at $17. That looks like a special to me right now.

Vindicate

Nice batting by The Pies and Yarpie, too bad it'll only amount to a draw.

Brett Pee

"the smart money is on England to retain the ashes" ? What the ? Tony- that is virtually tantamount to heresy in these parts mate. If Paul Collingwood can bore himself to 206 (yes, it happened!) then the likes of Punts and Haydos must be dreaming of Lara ! The Pommers only threatening bowler is the Captain and All-Rounder Freddie the Caveman. Is he going to take 10-200 in both digs ? No chance. I punt on a high scoring draw and then onto the next Test.

Keep the faith.

woody

Christ, Tone, you sound like one of us long-suffering poms. We've turned middle and late order collapses into an art form, which explains why we don't do reckles abandon as much as your boys. There isn't a hope in hell of us taking 20 wickets on any surface in Australia without Simon Jones and an in form Harmy, with Panesar chucking in a few.

Yobbo:

I'm not saying Monty shouldn't be playing - he clearly should. It's just that some people would have you believe he just needs to turn up to skittle your pensioners.

Snr Nubi

Lunch on Sunday (not my lunch) will give us a decent insight as to the result (draw). The flat track gives the impression that punter, Hayden & co should be seeing it pretty well. 'Tavare' Collingwood's 200, yeah I too tuned out it was torture....Mind, the bowlings (Lee) struggled on the 'one day' deck.

pat

I'd like to see Oz make the follow on half an hour before stumps tomorrow then declare. Put it back on the poms to set a target and put it back on the commentators to get their heads out of their collective arses. The first two days of this test have been dreadful boring shithouse cricket.

pat

A citizens movement to get Marto dropped must begin. Hey hey, ho ho, Damien Martyn's got to go!

13thMan

Gnome, Haydo, and Martyn gone! Fair enough, Gnome - bad time to begin batting - but the other two are useless, and have been for about 2 years. Time to give Jacques a go - couldn't perform worse than Hayden.
Still think it'll be a draw, but.

Tony.T

How come we couldn't swing the ball? Apart from Lee when England were 500+.

pat

Is it swinging? Haydo and Marto are just shito - that's all. Pup up the order to replace Marto, Haydo given 1 more chance. And Haddin in to replace Pup at 6. So when Gilsvhrist fails Haddin drops back and you can take your pick to select a Vic.

Tony.T

Gilsvhrist? Do Swedes play cricket?

13thMan

Aren't they a type of vegetable?

pat

The ancestors of Swedes and Wehrmacht obviously do play cricket hence I use the original spelling. Just an attempt to match the English commentary you so obviously feel compelled to fall on your knees mouth agape ready to fellate.

30 runs shy of the follow on at stumps. A nothing Test full of sound and fury signifying... Tones being an ancestral pom naturally you are bereft of cojones so I sympathise with your petty sweats. 30 more runs, 5 wickets in hand.

The questions: are our radio and TV commentators too old? Isn;t it time for fresh blood. Bring in the young up and comers. Chappeli, Greig, Lawry, Aggers and Spanky etc. Isn't it time these cunts were removed to make way for people who are simultaneously erudite in the ways of cricket and entertaining to boot?

pat

Come on Tone, this blog used to be at the bleeding edge. You've turned into a cunt lipped cultural cringing cricketing pommy dhimmi. Turn the sound off. And no ABC pseudo commentary to fill the air. Make your own assessments. You'll be refreshed.

2 days to score 550 was too long for any 5 year old to see. We lead 1 blot. The poms have to make the running regardless of their MSM running dogs barking ejaculatory praise of a soft cock entrance to a hard core porn flick.

The Oz stand upright. We can penetrate. We stand potent. We lead them on. The English just hug each other like a scene from Queer as Folk and next thing you know we'll be told that getting your test arse reamed is good for character building.

Tony.T

Bollocks.

But the hugging isn't anywhere as near annoying as the touching of gloves.

pat

Bollocks to you too! The "touching of gloves" is all this Test has been - so far. Lets get fair dinkum. So far it look like we should be all out for 370 to 400 by half after lunch session. That's a 180 run lead max with a day and a half to spare. The poms need a win. Where is the press pressure? The poms bat again - what are they gonna set? Think about it. The pressure is on them. They have to set a target.

This test is a draw or an Oz win - who will bet me? Email me.

Tony.T

Speaking of bollocks, I'm watching Straya's Favourite Album.

Red Hot Chili Peppers
Jeff Buckley
OK Computer
Nirvana

Get rooted!

pat

"Get rooted" was a great album, dare I say quintessential to Australian subcontinentiousness, but it just doesn't stand up to OK Computer neither nor Nirvana.

Straya's fave album has to be "The Photograph Kills". Surely the most concise critical acclaim of any Australian album: "The band has achieved neither critical nor popular success during its time."

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