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13thMan

And Justice is served.
Here's a thought - and I know it's a perennial thought.
As the actual urn is currently in Straya at the mo', how's about Customs just refuse to let it leave? After all, the risk of damage and whatever other bullshit excuses the Poms have come up with, is moot. Maybe we can tell tham that if they manage to ever win them back - and retain them back-to-back - we'll think about lending them to the bastards.

os

There's 15,000 people at the WACA, they could stroll down to the Museum and liberate it.

Tony.T

Very true; they are ours. We should bolt them to a stand in the New York Yacht Club.

13thMan

Liberate away os.

TimT

I looked at that title and first thing I thought was, 'Hmmm, imagine what a stray I and L could do to that.'

Tony.T

Well, the Aussies ARE currently on the piss.

nick

I think Geraint Jones could get a tattoo of the urn, at half original size, right over his tiny heart. 'Andrex soft' dismissal indeed.

nick

After Slog Grog then.

Scott Wickstein

Good work by the subbies I have to admit.

Yes, I'm back. Hopefully this internet thingy works this time.

Yorkshire Soul

Well done Australia, three astounding performances, especially the 2nd test, very worthy winners.

murph

Yes. We were worthy winners at Edgbaston. Pity Billy Bowden can't umpire.

murph

Just stirring shit, Yorkshire Soul, me old mate

nick

Australia's Gary Pratt - Rudi Koertzen.

Paul B

Yep, no argument. It's been a fairly woeful performance by England at times, but even if we'd played well I think we'd be at least two down by now, so the Aussies richly deserved it.

I just hope we get ourselves back to something like our best by next time, to make it more of a contest...

nick

England look the better side - in 2009, if they can develop some bowlers - Harmison will be gone, as will Giles...Hoggard will be gone or going, and Panesar looks the only one of the current crop with promise.

murph

Australia's Gary Pratt - Rudi Koertzen.

Aw...poor nicky boy, do you want a tissue?

Were you having a whinge about the ump 18 months ago when Marto was screwed three times in three consecutive matches? Or when Katich was sent packing lbw for a ball that was going 6 inches above and to the leg of the stumps?

No? May a suggest a nice steaming cup of STFU?

Given that you won that series by 2 runs, I'd suggest that Marto's unfortunate dismissals had alot greater impact than those of Strauss.

The Poms have had their arses handed back to tehm on a plate. The umpiring has had no effect on the outcome of any of the matches.

Tony.T

Murph, Nick's an Aussie. He was being sarcastic.

Tony.T

Or ironic. Or whatever the correct comedic term is.

Bruce

England haven't been that bad. They've played pretty well stringing not just sessions but days of cricket together. But when they crack they shatter into a million pieces. Their Day 5 performances have been dreadful.

Mike

I've got a little winge about coverage for those of us out in rural areas.We live too far from town to get Ch 9 so we have Austar,they can't have the live feed(do have highlights after the event)so its the radio(which is good).
My biggest gripe is the internet streaming which I can't access due to my server supposedly coming from outside Oz.We have sat dish for net connection on a Fed Govt sponsered plan yet can't access streaming of the cricket due to the rights rules.Seems a little silly to me.
Any how has been a great series,our attack at all times playing style has always left the door open to the Poms to rise to the challange and that makes for good cricket,would love a bit more life in the wickets though.

Scott Wickstein

Mike, I'm shocked- where do you live? Not having a local commercial television station like Win to cover the cricket?

Tony.T

Back in the early eighties when Channel Nine first started to cover Test cricket post WSC they had no country affiliate in the Pilbara. Previously we'd seen the Tests on ABC TV, but when Nine started there was no deal with Aunty so we missed out. For example, I never got to see the Underarm Ball. The only way to follow the cricket was via 6WF (and regionals) and every day would come that teeth-gnashing invitation "Country listeners will now leave us for The Country Hour". Yeah, like I ever cared about the price of cows.

Even when I hear them say it now, I shudder. I hate The Country Hour.

Goobermetrics

Nothing more to see here. Roll on AFL season 2007....

Scott Wickstein

Why is the Country hour so sacred? Can't they have it during the lunch break?

It's the Australian version of the Shipping Forecast.

Tony.T

Behave yourself, Goober, 5-0 is plenty more to see.

Goobermetrics

True Tone. Better work on my enthusiasm, I do have tix to the Boxing Day test after all. Access to heavies in the members may improve that.

os

Tone, I was listening to the radio yesterday and the Country Hour lady and the weather forcaster were both watching the TV while they were talking. They gave a live heads-up on an elbee appeal ... pretty plain what they'd rather be doing as well.
13thMan ... you just KNOW I'd love to do it, but sadly, being 500 kms away I can only pontificate.
PS. Cattle prices at Midland have been pretty good.

pat

That was a 3 Test pummeling leaving no serious cricket enthusiast as to where dominance lays. It remains to be seen whether Oz can sustain the level of determination they have shown thus far in the dead rubbers. I am praying they can.

To coincide with the joy of regaining the Ashes comes the satisfaction of jamming the criticisms of the ex-cricketing and expat pom media up their collective arse. As Punter notes:

"I think we've all felt that we had a real point to prove to a lot of people coming into this series. Even on the eve of the first Test, I heard a lot of ex-Australian players - and some of them are commentators at the moment - asked for their predictions for the series and few of them didn't think we could win. That's a bit disappointing, as far as I'm concerned. Extra satisfaction? Probably, for some of those players you're talking about."

A typically understated assessment from Punter. What he means is: ChappellI, Lillee, Botham, Lamb, Lawson, Greig (have I left anyone out), you are a bunch of vindictive and jealous shitheads who have no place in journalism or commentary - in short, fuck off!

Also worthy of note is the ABC commentary's insistence that Pom victories are vital to the 'game' (KoK being the number one offender). Nonsense. Excellent cricket is vital to 'the game'. Nothing less. We all want a great contest - one that consists of two good teams playing at the best of their ability. What is not needed are results that appear to level out the field of competition. If Australia is dominant then let the world rise to their level not for Australia to come down to the level of world mediocrity.

That is what we saw in the 2005 Ashes series and led to the ridiculous assessments being made before this series. Oz in 2005 was a jaded, confused bunch of happy tourists. 2006 saw a return to the fundamentals that Border instilled, Taylor expanded upon and Waugh entrenched. Punter has continued on the tracks begun by Border and this victory like all since his time can be honoured to him.

Also, it should be noted that this English team has performed well given the disastrous circumstances leading up to the tour. No Vaughan, Trescothick, Simon Jones and an injured Flintoff. What other team could sustain that level of loss and still compete so well? I'd hazard only Australia.

The English performances were overall excellent just stumbling at crucial moments. This third Test in particular has brought out tremendous efforts from Bell and Cook in particular. Collingwood had his moment in Adelaide. Strauss is just unlucky. Hoggard has been superb and tireless following on where Gough left off. Panesar has proven (in one Test) to be a great talent.

On that note I think Fletcher and Flintoff have served England well. Unfortunately the press got to them before Perth and they axed Anderson for Mahmood. IMO opinion Anderson showed enough promise to be included at Perth where he might have overcome flat wickets and bad luck just as Harmison did. But fighting the press off is the coach and Captains hardest task.

Pietersen continues to let the team down, one minute exposing the tail the next farming strike. One minute stoic next minute carrying on like a maniac. Even with a test avge of 50 he rides his luck too much and will always be the first to get his own wicket. The loss at Adelaide should be sheeted home to his stupid 2nd innings effort. But the press are infatuated with him (as are most poms) so he remains the glory boy with $150,000 earings. Surely this is evidence of some sort of homo-erotic undercurrents running throught the press and English cricket. Roebuck is especially suspect in this regard.

So to sum up, Australia hate losing and the team has obviously worked harder on all aspects of their cricket, with especial attenion payed to fielding in particular catching. The administration must take credit for bringing Cooley on board and the American baseball trainer for fielding.

This has been a victory for the common cricket lover in Oz and our thanks and praise go out to Punter and the team. It is with great joy that I say - Fanfuckingtastic. Go Oz!

pat

Good article in today's smh worthy of a read.

RT

It will come out some time later this century that Geraint was a secret plant by the Aussie cricket heirarchy in the 80's ie a Toomwoomba brainwashing ala The Manchurian Candidate. I think MI5 had countered with Symonds but the Aussie methods have far exceeded expectations.

nick

Murph - I agree whole heartedly (apart from the tissue bit - maybe Jones needs it more). I was referring to the fact that Rudi has pissed off the Poms as much as Pratt got under Ponting's skin last year. There have been some 'equivocal' decisions - tough. You don't get pinged for dodgy lbws when you're smashing 100 off 58 balls, and you don't get pinged for ddogy edges when you're smashing them though the covers. I think England were lucky last year, and they haven't had that same luck again. They've played as well as I expected them to...but we've won, so fuck them. Let the gloating begin!

Mike

Free to air TV is not an option for us as we are too far from the town signal,could get all the stations for the price of another dish and decoder,so now with the drought raging we will not be adding.Austar gives us ABC and SBS plus all other pay stuff so just to get the nine affliates would be extravagant.We live in Nth West NSW and I am a farmer so the Country hour is useful to me.
Pidgeon's 5-0 call is looking good now and I reckon I dedected a little spring in his step this last test.What are the chances that if that comes about he will go out on a roll and make way for a young'un?

bilbo

I liked your article Pat. Good stuff.

Here's one I wrote for that English Blog Rag - "The Corridor". It's deliberately "gentle", it is a after all an English readership - and besides, they hate me there.

Article starts :- "Well I didn't come here to gloat. There's no need. We have the Ashes and I now have a Tee-shirt, a black one, with the words "Five - NIL" printed in big white letters. I'll wear it with pride. I’m happy.

What we all seem to have lost sight of in this series is that England really did nothing wrong except come to Australia with a roughly average Test team prepared to play Test Cricket.

What they didn't realise was that they were about to be ambushed. The Australian Team that lost The Ashes went to ground after that defeat in England. Many ideas, theories, suggestions were bandied around, but basically it was "Danger Men at Work". They trained, they practised, they dissected each English players strengths and weaknesses,,,,,,,,,and then waited in deep bush for the passing victims. All this happened in secrecy. There was never a whisper in any "Oz" newspapers let alone abroad.

Only those of us with a nose to the air in "Oz" had an inkling of what was about to happen. We said nothing. Loose Lips Sink Ships.

Add into this mix, a good dose of wounded pride, a hefty dollop of revenge and a whisp of good fortune.

The English Team arrived here thinking this was going to be a turkey shoot. It was indeed a turkey shoot. The English Team were the turkeys.

England you have a lot to be proud of. Your players served you well. Some were heroes. Some weren't. But Australia had this in the bag before the English Team got on the plane to Australia.

What's left of still wrigglng body of English Cricket will be decapitated in the next 2 remaining Test Matches.

As the Barmy Army would chant,,,,,,,,,

"Ding dong"

"Ding dong"

"Five nil"

"Five nil"

To the supporters of English Cricket I'd advise not to distress yourselves about this loss, don't look to blame your team or it's management. This defeat was simply unavoidable. There is more to cricket than individuals. Cricket is a game just like life. It needs deep thought, comittiment, a gambler' nerves, a dedicated team effort and a belief in yourself, the nerve to back yourself to win. Australia had these qualities in spades. England had it, but not in spades. You had individuals and you banked on individuals. That's dangerous. Australia had it in spades. That's arrogance. Sometimes, the good guy doesn't win.

Please pass on my sympathies to the following English players:

Flintoff

Hoggard

Collingwood

Strauss

Panesar

And the next Captain of England, a talented batsman, a leader, a perfomer under real pressure - Cook.

For they are the true heroes of English Cricket today."

Ends,

Bilbo

Russell Allen

Now there are a couple of dead rubbers, Fletch might actually select a decent side. Jonesy out for instance. I'd rather have seen Simon Jones fielding wicket with his gammy legs than friggin Geraint.

Also, can I congratulate the Hun for a great cover.

Tony.T

Aren't you going to congratulate me on my superior photoshopping? You can't scan the whole front page, so I had to do it in halves. I bet you can't see any line across the middle of the picture, can you? Can you?

Nope. Thought not.

Russell Allen

Well done on the Photoshopping TT!

Also, your cricket team isn't half bad either. Punter and Mr Cricket are legends. I don't give a monkey's chuff about your bowlers but I thought Clark was a notable breakthrough for you chaps.

The final word...England is a model of consistent inconsistency.

Rohan

Hey Mike,

Vis-a-vis live audio streaming of ABC cricket commentary through a foreign internet server.

Here's what I've had to do to hear the sound of leather on willow - and a few other things beside - this summer, from all the way up north in Seoul, South Korea...

You must go to the following website:

www.cricketaustralia.tv/liveaudio

Then, register a username and password with the site,

and then (wait for it...) pay twenty US dollars via credit card for the privelidge of accessing a service that your friendly, local, tax payer funded, ABC provides totally FREE OF CHARGE, to all four corners of the internet universe, every, single, other, day of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say, I payed up my US$20 after the first day in Brissie and can happily report that the service works really well most of the time...

...except when it cuts out suddenly and starts to emit an ear drum piercing tonal sound from the fiery pits of hades, near the end of a elongated day's play, like, oh, say the last day of the second test in Adelaide, therefore blocking subscribers from hearing the decscription of the winning runs being hit.

effin Cricket effin Australia effin money grubbers.

I'll leave it up to you to decide if its worth the money and the trouble to get within earshot of the Boxing Day and New Year's tests.

Alternatively you can go to:

www.cricketworld.com/radio/

which seems to be closely linked to Sky Sports in the UK. They provide a free "unofficial" description of the game, which, I gather, amounts to two Indian fellas sitting in a studio in London somewhere commentating off the TV picture.

It's not much, but it is free I suppose.

Cheers and Good Luck! Hope to see the Aussies roll on to 5-0. Regardless of the outcome this time around I still think the Poms start favorites on their home turf in 2009. We've got a lot of remodelling of the side to do before now and then!!!!

bilbo

Rohan,

No mate, The Posm do not starts favourites in 2009. Poms do not start favourite in anything. Unless of couse you ARE a Pom. In that case I have friends in UK Immigration that can ensure you will never see England again ;)

If, however, you are an Australian, then all I can say is, "Come Home, you've been over there too long"

Take care,

I wish I was back working in SE Asia,

Bilbo - the ex-Pom

Scott Wickstein

Bilbo I've already got the Aussie's spot taken on the Corridor. No barging into my turf, thanks.

bilbo

Scott,

Good luck mate. You'll need it. They "go all girly" when you stick it up 'em.

Bon voyage, I'll be there soon.

Perhaps just 2 Aussies can beat 500 of THEM.

Chuck a bar of soap in there, that usually scatters 'em and you can pick 'em off one by one then ;)

Bilbo

Tony.T

I just wish the great majority of people at The Corridor wouldn't take themselves so bloody seriously. Cricket is the most laughworthy game in the world. By a mile. Well, apart from motorsports; those crackheads rev me up. Sorry, those revheads crack ... oh, you work it out.

murph

Sorry Nick

I'm was wr..wr..wr..wrwrwrwrwr..wr..not right to assume you were a Pom.

Rohan

G'day Bilbo,

Thanks for your welcome.

Like most Australians of an Anglo-ish ethnicity, perhaps I have a foot in both camps.

Due to a sad coincidence/cosmic joke my family name happens to be, get this: England!!!!!!!!

Yet as far as I can tell I'm at least 4th or 5th generation born and bred in the Great South Land (on both sides of the fam, mind you).

So, you're friendly jibe brings back many a fond memory of being nicknamed 'Pommie' in the primary school playground. Who knew kids would be so cruel, as to call an died in the wool Aussie, a Pommie?

Been living up here in Korea (South) for the last six years, which as you correctly point out is a tad too long. Making me Rohan England from Australia, in Korea.

Anyhow, aside from my somewhat muddled national identity. The substantive point remains that the Poms start favourites in 2009, for mine, given that most of our top six batsman + wicket keeper will likely never have played a test match in English conditions. And the only bowlers we're likely to have are: Bing, Clark, & possibly Warne.

Bear in mind too that Ponting (the batsman of the decade, so far - howszat for mozz!) is far more likely to be just past the apex of his career than just arriving at it. And even the supremely gifted Sir Ricky struggled mightily - even in winning teams - in English conditions prior to 2005.

For me 2006-07 looks a lot more like 1982-83 than it does 1989. But then again I'm a born pesimist - must be the inner Englishman in me...

I enjoy this blog because it provides a good virtua-pub row about the cricket in summer and the footy in winter, but I just wonder about the knee-jerk, ocker, 'Straya-ness, of it at times.

Yeah, we've ruled the world of cricket with an iron fist for the last 10-15 years. Good on us. Pats on the back all-round. But what else do we dominate the world in? Redneck hysteria at the hoards of islamic immigrants storming our beaches, wholesale interest rate rise panic, world's most monumentally stupid and short sighted energy/environment/climate change policy, etc.

Ahh, the intoxicating mix of sport and politics!

Sorry TT, obviously this post belongs to a new thread which should be entitled Ranting of Homesick Ex-pat's/Who Starts Favourite Next Time Round - with emphasis on manic ranting.

Exeter

I offer the following thought starters for the Pom's post Ashes wake:

1. Fielding
2. Shot selection
3. Running between the wickets and the art of the quick single
4. Selection policy
5. Ruthlessness (or lack thereof)

Tony.T

Rohan: I share your pesimism about our chances in the future. However:

I enjoy this blog because it provides a good virtua-pub row about the cricket in summer and the footy in winter, but I just wonder about the knee-jerk, ocker, 'Straya-ness, of it at times.

... you'll find no "knee-jerk, ocker, Straya-ness" here. Struthing galah hell!

The "manic" is good, but.

Exeter: That's about it in a nutshell. This time. If they aren't better next time around, I'd be bloody surprised.

Rohan

Bye-golly, bye-jingoes, bye-crikey!! Thanks TT.

Sorry not to introduce myself at more length previously. Lurker since last day of Edgbaston Test 2005 (sob, sob), first time commenter.

Just to confirm, you want me to ramp-up the manicness?

*starts channelling Basil Fawlty*

oops - he's a Pom.

Happy Christmas!

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