Bill Lawry says some very funny things. No, really. He could well be a terrific bloke, but by Christ he trumpets truck loads of tripe. He's at his worst when the game means little and his call reeks of shill. Like last night when you lost count of the number of times he blared "The crowd are really warming up." Often-times he paired that with "Exciting stuff this." And naturally there was the standard barrage of "It's all happening here." It never seems to bother Bill when he says that last one; he once screeched it after just one ball of an ODI. Is it too much to ask that he vary his call a little? You can tell when he's winding up to belt one out and it sets my teeth on edge. There's his voice, too. Surely a Key Selection Criterion when picking a commentator is the voice. Bill's is a horrid nasally affair. But if those sins alone weren't enough to see him booted from the booth, surely the stupid things he says should see him flicked. "It's 1/62. You wouldn't get a better start!" Does he even notice the idiocy implicit in that statement? Likely, no. It is so far past the time Bill was pensioned off he is starting to fossilize in the booth. Appropriate for a dinosaur.
Nine has some quality, The Doyen and Heals shiniest among the gems, but others are utter duds. Bill is a scrubber, but at least he is better than Tony Grieg and no worse than Simon O'Donnell. And then there's Mark Nicholas; he is a ... well ... you know.