After Grog Blog

"Virutally unintelligible to non-Australians" -- Harry Hutton

GONG, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Eleven currently non-existent countries have won Olympic medals:

  • Australasia
  • Bohemia
  • Czechoslovakia
  • East Germany
  • Netherlands Antilles
  • Russian Empire
  • Serbia and Montenegro
  • USSR
  • West Germany
  • West Indies Federation
  • Yugoslavia

Four countries which no longer exist failed to win any Olympic medals:

  • British West Indies
  • North Borneo
  • Rhodesia
  • South Yemen

Posted by Tony Tea on 03 August 2012 at 14:35 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (13)

SOCTOLOGIST

Posted by Tony Tea on 30 May 2012 at 11:50 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (2)

SOCRATES HIMSELF IS PARTICULARLY MISSED

1982 was the first time I payed much more than cursory attention to the World Cup and Brazil, led by Socrates, was the main reason:

Brazil legend Socrates dies

BRAZIL legend Socrates has died aged 57 after suffering with an intestinal infection.

The 1982 World Cup hero was admitted to hospital and placed on life-support on Thursday after falling ill during a meal at a hotel in Sao Paulo.

It was the third time the former Brazilian national team captain had been rushed to hospital in recent months, having first fallen ill in the summer.

Also, at our footy club a big grab was accompanied by a chorus of "ZICO!" and a teammate named Paul Ross became Paulo Rossi.

Posted by Tony Tea on 05 December 2011 at 06:25 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (6)

"I WAS TAKEN OUT OF CONSENT"

Football in mouth:

Kosmina's 'rape' remark criticised

FORMER Adelaide United coach John Kosmina has sparked controversy again, saying Melbourne Victory had been ''raped'' by his former club.

''I mean, basically they were raped by Adelaide at that stage,'' he said on Fox Sports on Friday night.

Posted by Tony Tea on 16 October 2011 at 12:05 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (2)

EIGHT-TWO! EIGHT-BLOODY-TWO!

Posted by Tony Tea on 29 August 2011 at 08:45 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (3)

CITIUS, ALTIUS, FOURTIUS

(Hats off: @profsarahj)

Posted by Tony Tea on 12 August 2011 at 10:25 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (5)

THE SLAPRUDER FILM

The post below and the heading/picture combo at left have more than a passing acquaintance with each other - viz: The Irrational, clause 1, sub-clause i. - but really, I just wanted to use the heading.

Chuck Klosterman's article at Grantland is a top read, but should be a must-read for any TV executive in Australia:

Space, Time and DVR Mechanics

When it's come to sports, it's live ... or it's totally dead

Why is watching a prerecorded sporting event less pleasurable than watching the same game live?

It doesn't matter how much I sequester myself or how thrilling the event is — if I know the game has finished, it's difficult to sustain authentic interest in what I've recorded.

It is different when you support one of the teams in the recorded match. And here in Australia - especially Western Australia where the blackout has been an item of faith since at least 1987 when Wet Toast joined the then VFL - we have become inured to the concept of delayed telecasts by cynical Official Broadcasters all-too keen to bilk their viewers to maximise their revenue streams. What is undeniable, though, is that often on Friday Night Football I check the score at half time, then go to bed.

Posted by Tony Tea on 17 June 2011 at 15:15 in Aussie Rules, Sport | Permalink | Comments (8)

LAND OF THE SCHLONG WHITE CLOUD

The Age unleashes its inner Olympian. Hats off, or given the circumcision, I mean circumstances, hats on to Caroline Overington.

Posted by Tony Tea on 25 May 2011 at 12:45 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (4)

OSIE, OSIE, OSIE

Tony Jones on Nine News: "In some ways getting their own back for the 4-0 drubbing in last year's world cup." Kind of extravagant, don't you think? It behooves me to inject a level of perspective into matters. As our cricket empire wanes, No.1 in world soccer is merely a matter of time:

Aussies score maiden win over soccer powerhouse

SOCCEROOS skipper Lucas Neill labelled his team's comeback 2-1 win over Germany as 'amazing', and a measure of revenge for last year's World Cup thrashing by the powerhouse.

For Australia's German coach Holger Osieck, this was arguably his country's biggest win on a football pitch.

Osieck had every reason to have a smile after the win, erasing the memory of Rale Rasic's ill-fated World Cup campaign in the former West Germany 37 years ago.

Posted by Tony Tea on 30 March 2011 at 19:45 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (3)

PUNCHING AT OUR WEIGHT

Rebecca Wilson appears to have finally realised that nothing lasts forever:

We're now in bad shape, sport

The days of punching above our weight are over.

Without professionalism in amateur sport, modern coaching techniques and serious young athletes to develop, Australia is facing at least two decades in the sporting wilderness.

These will be dark days for those of us, like me, who have taken great joy for many years in living our lives vicariously through Australian athletes.

The rest of the world has caught up and they are about to leave us behind.

This should not be a shock. While the Australian sporting industry and the Australian media have spent 30 years cheer-leading the sunburnt country, there should have been at least the odd dissenting or skeptical voice (apart from mine) suggesting the current situation was all-but unavoidable.

It is cold logic that once a country moneys up for a sport and becomes successful, others follow. Population and raw dollars almost guarantee that Australia would be passed when other countries committed resources to sport with the same zeal as Australia. Tennis is the prevalent example, but Olympic sports and cricket are all set to confront improved competition. 

Aussie Rules is certainly an influence but Australian sports need to emulate, rather than fear, the AFL. (I also agree with Gideon Haigh.) Yet, even Aussie Rules would not be a world power for long if countries like the USA became major players.

Australia has advantages in sports like surfing, swimming and even golf, but Australia has no God-given right to be No.1 at anything. Everything eventually finds its own level.

Posted by Tony Tea on 21 January 2011 at 15:55 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (13)

SNOW WORRIES, MOYT

Have you heard the one about the American who confused Australia with Austria?

Well, did you know that when Alan Jones won the 1977 Austrian grand prix the officials played the Austrian national anthem? Or that the officials played Waltzing Matilda? Or that Josef Fritzl played Happy Birthday To You on a trumpet?

Posted by Tony Tea on 15 December 2010 at 09:15 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (11)

BEND IT LIKE BURQAM

"The Australian bid delivered big time."

~~ Mark Arbib, SEN

Posted by Tony Tea on 02 December 2010 at 09:55 in Radio, Sport | Permalink | Comments (16)

TIGER WESTWOODS

Keen to gauge a gender specific reaction as to whether new No.1 Lee Westwood will attract quite as much attention vis-a-vis the contradictory gender as his predecessor, I asked our secretary what she thought about the picture on the left.

The following is verbatim, to-the-letter and word-for-word:

TT: "Nik, what's the very first thing you think of when you look at this bloke?"

Nik: "He looks like a golfer."

 

Posted by Tony Tea on 05 November 2010 at 09:50 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (15)

DIAMOND CUTTER

Stephen Conroy wants us to be choirboys (or choirgirls, as the case may be) on the internet, but his net nanny has nothing on the over-sensitive netball nannies at Netball Australia.

Australian Diamond Renae Hallinan had a funny post on her Delhi Diary:

Delhi Diary 5:

From what I gather, the Indians have only 11 rules, let me run you through them.

Reversing: no longer applicable since no vehicle in India has reverse gear.

Until next time, drive safe and speak to you soon.

Naebo

Don't jump into Naebo for her inability to count to 11. Don't even jump into Naebo for her inability to count to 10, 11 or 12, depending on your punctuational preferences. Jump into Netball Nanny Australia for eviscerating the original list, which, courtesy of the AGB Internet Tips & Tricks department, is reproduced here for you to judge whether Naebo is endangering Austro-Indian harmony via an insupportable caustic insult or just having a laugh:

Delhi Diary 5:

From what I gather, the Indians have only 11 rules, let me run you through them.

Give way to (in order): Cows, Elephants, Trucks, Buses, Official cars (yes I know Cows before Ambulances), Camels, Cars, motorbikes, Rickshaws, Pigs, goats, bicycles, dogs and finally least important… People.

All drivers should stick with this theory. "To slow is to falter", "to brake is to fail" and "to stop is admitting defeat"

Use your horn with these rules:

Long blasts are to indicate "I am going too fast to stop, so unless you slow down we shall both die"

Single blast simply means: "I have not blown my horn for several minutes."

Use your horn for all maneuvers, evasive action shall only be used at the last possible moment

Seat belts are for decoration

Traffic entering a road from the left has right of way, so does traffic from the right as does traffic in the middle.

All Indian traffic at all times and irrespective of direction of travel shall occupy the centre of the road

India has no roundabouts. Traffic islands in the middle of intersections have no traffic management function.

Overtaking is mandatory. Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you. No more than two inches should be allowed between your vehicle and the one you are passing.

Reversing: no longer applicable since no vehicle in India has reverse gear.

Until next time, drive safe and speak to you soon.

Naebo

Posted by Tony Tea on 13 October 2010 at 07:25 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (15)

SINDERELLA STORY

Ripping story in Sports Illustrated celebrating Caddyshack, 30 years on:

Caddyshack

A flute with no holes is not a flute—and a sports world with no Caddyshack, well that seems unthinkable. Three decades after the golf classic's release, SI catches up with the cast and crew.

IT'S IN THE HOLE! Bill Murray nails the money shot:

Let me tell you a story. The first time I went to Augusta, I was skulking around with a hat pulled way down on my head, trying to be invisible. And I ended up right behind Jack Nicklaus and his son, who was caddying for him. They were standing on the 18th tee. And his son spots me and points at me. And I thought it was because they saw this strange guy with his hat pulled down. I thought they were going to call security. And just as I was about to run, the son says to his dad, in Carl's voice, "I think it's about a five-iron." And I thought, Holy cow, that's my joke!

Posted by Tony Tea on 17 September 2010 at 09:25 in Film, Sport | Permalink | Comments (15)

PARDON THE FUCK UP

Sunday night, lying awake flipping around the radio, I landed on the 927 Sport overnight wrap. Don't know who the announcer was. Let's call him Got The Job Done, since that was what he repeated over and over again. "Chelsea got the job done against West Ham 3-1." "The Dragons got the job done against Manly 28-0." "Melbourne got the job done against Brisbane 3-0". Anyway, Got changed to Get when he moved on to next weekend in the NRL:

"The Canberra Raiders will play the rampaging Roosters, pardon the pun."

Pardon what pun?

Posted by Tony Tea on 15 September 2010 at 09:45 in Radio, Sport | Permalink | Comments (14)

DELHI TELLY

Already had a gutful of the Commonwealth Games? Me, too:

Posted by Tony Tea on 09 September 2010 at 14:55 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (38)

STIPH SHIT

You will be shocked, appalled AND quite outraged to learn that people around here have embraced Stephanie Rice's gay slur. Suddenly everyone* is saying "Suck on that faggots."

It has become a catch phrase.

* Everyone except me. As a pedagogue, role model and experienced blogger (eight years this Friday), I always set high standards with regard to respectable public discourse.

And now, a brilliant picture of a golfer sucking on a cigar:


HAG FAG

Bet you didn't know Matthew Mitcham was gay. Not even when Matt waved to the camera after his last dive in 2008.

"Some of my best friends are straight."

Stephanie Rice's comments were offensive but she's not homophobic, says Matthew Mitcham

But Mitcham, who is openly gay, wrote on Twitter that, while Rice's comments were thoughtless, "she luvs gays".

"I agree, it was offensive & very thoughtless, but being friends with her for 2yrs, I know she is not homophobic," Mitcham wrote.


RICE BLUBBLES

I want you to know how sorry I am: tearful Rice

A tearful Stephanie Rice has made an emotional public apology over her homophobic slur on Twitter, saying she has learnt a huge lesson.

Posted by Tony Tea on 08 September 2010 at 12:35 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (30)

THE HURST LOCKER

The English media are obsessed with war references when England plays Germany - given the prevailing form line they should give it a miss - but it appears Germany have their own obsessions, too.

What's German for Schadenfreude?

Germans gloat over 4-1 win

FOOTBALL fans across Germany were revelling after their 4-1 thrashing of England yesterday.

And while delighted supporters celebrated the result, they took most satisfaction from Frank Lampard's disallowed goal, which brought an end to 44 years of frustration after the 1966 World Cup final.

The uncertainty over Sir Geoff Hurst's controversial third goal in the 1966 Wembley final, which England won 4-2, has riled the Germans ever since.

The decision to disallow Lampard's clear goal yesterday with the score at 2-1 was their 'revenge'.

Posted by Tony Tea on 28 June 2010 at 21:25 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (5)

BED AND CIRCUSES

Pretty good timing to have Tiger Woods due to lob in town at the same time an election is due. But surely this year's figures will take a hit without Tigger booking 132 rooms for his girlfriends:

Tiger Woods' return to Melbourne for Australian Masters expected to pull in more than $34m for Victoria, Premier says

TIGER Woods' signing to the Australian Masters is expected to surpass the $34 million his 2009 visit brought to the economy, Premier John Brumby says.

The Herald Sun exclusively revealed this morning that the world No 1 has agreed to defend his Australian Masters title at Victoria Golf Club in November - and Victorian taxpayers will again chip in half the $3 million bill.

Posted by Tony Tea on 09 June 2010 at 18:15 in Politics, Sport | Permalink | Comments (5)

CRACK SHOT

Posted by Tony Tea on 28 May 2010 at 09:10 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (4)

SOCCER MUMMERY

Posted by Tony Tea on 24 May 2010 at 12:40 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (126)

TAKE ME OUT AT THE BALLGAME

Posted by Tony Tea on 05 May 2010 at 10:05 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (15)

PLOT BLACK

John Higgins, according to his manager Pat Mooney, has been framed:

John Higgins plots to betray his fans for cash

MILLIONAIRE World Snooker champion John Higgins is captured here on camera shaking hands on a disgraceful deal to fix a string of high-profile matches after demanding a £300,000 kickback.

Elsewhere, in other roundball shenanigans: did Steven Gerrard gift Didier Drogba an easy goal to make it harder for Manchester United to win the Premier League?

Posted by Tony Tea on 03 May 2010 at 12:05 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (19)

LIGHTS, KAMARA, INACTION

(Via YS)

Posted by Tony Tea on 21 April 2010 at 15:25 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (7)

THE BACK DOOR

Will The Back Page have Jon Anderson on the panel next week for a good squirm? Were he a player the show would open with Gibbo dudgeon - "What the hell were you doing?" - followed by a professional apology, but would soon ease off to a series of jokes (possibly involving Billy Birmingham's Hedrovefastcarz).

Ando's a solid citizen, though, so I can't imagine he would swallow a PR pill:

Sports writer Jon Anderson to be charged with drink driving

HERALD Sun sports journalist Jon Anderson will be charged with drink driving and careless driving after smashing into a pizza shop.

Anderson, 53, was arrested by police after the incident at Domino's Pizza in High St, Malvern, about 7.30pm on Wednesday.

Police say the car, a Holden hatchback, was being manoeuvred in a carpark at the rear of the store when it accelerated through a roller door.

Posted by Tony Tea on 09 April 2010 at 19:10 in Radio, Sport | Permalink | Comments (9)

THE FOOTY SNOW

Heard just the two grabs of commentary from the Winter Olympics:

"Tatiana has worked amazingly hard to become an Australian!"

~~ Eddie McGuire, Sunday night

"Torah Bright has gone SMACK!"

~~ James Brayshaw, Friday night News

Posted by Tony Tea on 19 February 2010 at 18:05 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (10)

MERCHANT BANKA

Well, no, but he'll fit right in at the Broncos:

Introducing Kristian Wanka

THERE'S an Australian rugby league player taking to the field this year who might give commentators pause for thought.

He’s a 20-year-old studying a Bachelor of Human movement who has been signed up to play for the Brisbane Broncos rugby league club.

So far, so good.

It’s his name, which is likely to give rise to all manner of awkward moments – it’s Kristian Wanka.

Speaking of wankas: the subby who gave the punch-line away in the heading.

Posted by Tony Tea on 03 February 2010 at 18:40 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (6)

PARDON THE PROGRAM

Yesterday Richard Hinds compared the Channel Seven's tennis coverage with the ESPN feed sent back to US:

Seven killing golden goose

In the media room at Melbourne Park you can watch the feed provided by ESPN, which is showing the Australian Open in the US. ESPN's coverage is a nightclub dance floor at midnight, Seven's a morgue.

Given tennis talk does not come cheap, Seven can be forgiven for not boasting the American network's large, loquacious, informative and refreshingly light-hearted stable of commentators - Patrick McEnroe, Darren Cahill, Mary Carillo, Brad Gilbert, Pam Shriver et al. But if what the ESPN line-up has to say is more vastly more engaging, so, too, is the energised production in which it is said.

Where Seven locks its viewers into those matches it can squeeze between news commitments, ESPN makes viewers feel like they are part of the living, breathing, ever-changing tournament experienced by fans at Melbourne Park. They constantly update matches on other courts, use split-screen to show two matches if they are both at crucial stages, have their commentators talk meaningfully to informative graphics and feature the players' full names on the scoreboard, unlike Seven's truncated version that converts Shahar Peer into PEE.

During one Venus Williams match, ESPN commentators conducted an interview with Serena Williams. That meant, for the price of a few inconsequential points, you got to hear the young Williams' insights and a bit of amusing barracking - ''Come on Vee!'' - for her sister. Seven's alternative was a lullaby.

While that makes ESPN sound like an attractive prospect, at least for the tennis, the ESPN we get in Australia is a complete and utter fiasco.

Take the majority of their programs: World's Strongest Man, Pardon The Interruption Australia, Around the Horn, Soccernet Press Pass, Mixed Martial Arts, PRCA Rodeo, Winter X Games, International Poker, ATP Weekly, Jim Rome is Burning, AMA Supercross, European Basketball, PBA Bowling.

Would any sensible human being watch any of those shows?

The two things I watch on ESPN are Monday Night Football, which is on Tuesday morning here, and the NFL replays which are on Tuesday night. I don't get to watch many matches live since I'm at work, so I mostly watch the Tuesday night replays.

Have you seen the WWI documentary footage of soldiers trembling, shaking and hiding under beds at the slightest hint of the phrase "shell shock"? That is how I feel at the prospect of sitting down to watch an ESPN replay.

The Fox Sports NFL replays go for two hours, show the whole match, and only have ads at quarter time, half time and three quarter time. The ESPN package, by comparison, goes for two and a half hours, sometimes three, and contains all the ads as they appear during the live broadcast.

Here's a grab of the Dallas v Philadelphia replay from two weeks ago. The first ad break comes in early in the second half with the time on my clock showing 11:47pm.

Ad break 1:

"Hey, your sister rang me the other day..."

Insurance Line Income Protector Plan

****

"Ohh, that's a great ball. Izco seals it for Catania..."

Serie A Highlights

****

"Listen, I want what I want..."

Larry Fitzgerald's ESPN promo

****

"Thanks for watching this ESPN program. Due to time constraints we move ahead in action... following these messages.

****

Plays of the Week:

Ohio State - Devier Posey

Red Bull New Year No Limits - Travis Pastrana

New York Jets - Brad Smith

LA Lakers - Kobe Bryant

****

On ESPN this week:

The Aussies kick off the NFL play-offs on Monday as Sav Rocca and the Eagles go toe to toe with Matt McBriar and the Cowboys.

St Mary's take on Santa Clara in college hoops.

Tuesday, hold on tight for National Finals Rodeo.

Ad break 2:

"Ramsay's back with the toughest..."

Hell's Kitchen, USA

****

"Emos, vampires, crocs..."

VH1

****

"He's fought the big names..."

Sugar Shane versus Berto, Main Event PPV

Ad break 3:

Plays of the Week:

Ohio State - Devier Posey

Red Bull New Year No Limits - Travis Pastrana

New York Jets - Brad Smith

LA Lakers - Kobe Bryant

****

"Sports Centre is back for 2010..."

Jason Bennett, Sports Centre

"Prime Time and in HD. Might want to back off that camera, Louis, don't want to scare the kids."

****

On ESPN this week:

The Aussies kick off the NFL play-offs on Monday as Sav Rocca and the Eagles go toe to toe with Matt McBriar and the Cowboys.

St Mary's take on Santa Clara in college hoops.

Tuesday, hold on tight for National Finals Rodeo.

****

"This telecast is copyrighted by the NFL for the private use of our audience. Any other use of this telecast or any pictures, descriptions or accounts of the game without the NFL's consent is prohibited."

****

"Thanks for watching this ESPN program. Due to time constraints we move ahead in action... following these messages.

****

"I would not classify myself as a hoarder..."

Hoarders

****

"Doo, doo, doo, doo..."

Hybrid Camry

Ad break 4:

"ESPN, how can I help you..."

ESPN promo

****

"On ESPN in January - NBA, NCAA, La Liga"

ESPN promo

****

"Long ago, six nations gathered for a contest..."

Six Nations Rugby

****

"Sky News is Australia's first and only 24 hour... "

Sky News

Ad break 5:

"Introducing the all new Toyota Prado..."

Toyota Prado

****

"Forget the normal news..."

ESPN Sports Centre

****

"Thanks for watching this ESPN program. Due to time constraints we move ahead in action... following these messages.

****

Plays of the Week:

Ohio State - Devier Posey

Red Bull New Year No Limits - Travis Pastrana

New York Jets - Brad Smith

LA Lakers - Kobe Bryant

****

Tonight on ESPN Graphics:

Soccernet Press Pass

Winter X Games Classic

St Mary's v Santa Clara

****

"For the latest and most up-to-date TV listings log onto..."

ESPN.com.au

****

"Resumen del partido..."

Spanish match summary

****

Ad break 6:

"Hi there. It's that time where we delve deeply into..."

Shaka Heslop, Robbie Musto discuss soccer on ESPN Soccernet Presspass

****

"Sports Centre is back for 2010..."

Jason Bennett, Sports Centre

"Prime Time and in HD. Might want to back off that camera, Louis, don't want to scare the kids."

****

"I love my mom because..."

Barnardo's Mother of the Year

****

"What's revving this month?"

Discovery Turbo Max

****

"Introducing the all new Toyota Prado..."

Toyota Prado

****

Jugador del partido presentado por Telmex

Spanish game statistics

That last ad finished at 12:23, which means that ESPN managed to squash all those ads, station promos and highlights packages into 36 minutes primarily by cutting out great chunks of the football match. The ad promoting the upcoming Eagles v Dallas match was during its own replay, a whopping 12 hours after the Eagles Dallas match had finished.

Why are ESPN allowed to massacre their telecasts while Fox Sports manages to cover their whole game in two hours?

Yes, I suppose I could video the game during the day and watch it that night fast forwarding through the ads, but if Fox Sports can show an easily digestible, ad-lite replay without moving ahead due to time constraints, why can't stinking ESPN where the only time constraints are their own ads? Get rid of the ads, and especially the repetitive "highlights" packages, and you get rid of the time constraints.

Posted by Tony Tea on 28 January 2010 at 12:10 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (9)

A BREATH OF FRENCH AIR?

Listening to Henri Leconte's commentary the other night I was reminded of the old adage: a change is as good as a change.

Advantage Henri

DESPITE the bagging they have received in some quarters, Strewth reckons the Seven Network commentators at the Australian Open haven't been too bad, if you can ignore their mind-numbingly repetitive habit of spruiking Seven's new programs for 2010. But former French tennis star Henri Leconte took the art of commentary to a new level during the match between his countryman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga and Spaniard Nicolas Almagro on Monday night. Throughout the tight fifth set, Leconte took to shrieking with delight whenever Tsonga won a point, and even allowed himself a "Go, Jo" in the middle of one long rally. It was shamefully biased, totally devoid of any kind of in-depth analysis . . . and easily the most entertaining commentary stint during the tournament.

Allez, Henri.

Is this an exciting new era in commentary beginning?

Anyone who left the television on Channel 7 after the Federer Vs Hewitt will have experienced a breath of fresh air in the form of Henri Leconte’s commentary during the Tsonga Vs Almagro match.

Exciting new era? Allez, Henri? Allez oops, more like.

Why was Henri such a hit with so many people? Callers to SEN were raving about him, and when one bloke - Mark from Mt Eliza - said Henri was shit, he got short shrift followed by a dull put-down about not having a sense of fun.

It's not as if Henri was particularly bad, good, dreadful, excellent - he was just different. Like Agadoo is different, or Pass The Dutchie. You get where I'm coming from?

By comparison with the rest of the Seven tennis coverage he was a refreshing change from the usual commentators.

I mean, John Alexander is also "shamefully biased, totally devoid of any kind of in-depth analysis" but would anyone outside of the Channel Seven publicity department dare to suggest he is a good commentator? He is also boring and pissed off that Jim Courier gets all the good, well, better anyway, lines.

When Tracy Austin announced that "Cougar Town looks good" it conjured up all sorts of weird minds-eye pictures.

And as for Roger Rasheed's expert analysis: "Lleyton's a person who's on heat during a grand slam, and there's not quite the stigma that surrounds Federer that there was at his peak, when he was untouchable. A few more guys have got wings, and Lleyton's just got to find a way to get in his kitchen." Pigeon English.

The fact that viewers loved Henri Leconte's commentary says more about the dreadful nature of the rest of the Seven commentary than it does about Henri's relentlessly frantic "Unbeeeleeeeeeeevable".

Just because a commentator is different doesn't automatically make him good. Far too many cricket fans go on about Mikey Holding's cricket commentary. "He's got such a wonderful accent." Sure, but does he say anything worthwhile? Not when I've been listening. You may as well have Gore Vidal commentate, or James Mason, or David Attenborough. They might not know anything about tennis, but they would sound good talking rubbish. It shouldn't matter that Mason is dead; they can do to his voice what VB have done to John Mellion's voice... now there's an idea.

Eventually Henri's comedy stylings would force you to invoke The Merci Rule. "Different" commentary is like a novelty song: you listen to it once, maybe twice, then after that it's not long before you are banging your head against the wall.

Posted by Tony Tea on 27 January 2010 at 14:25 in Sport | Permalink | Comments (8)

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