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Wow... I expecting Mitcham to suggest that if Rice were gay she wouldn't've had the Jag in the first place.

Guess now I'll just have to wait for someone to get told off for hating masturbators.

I believe it's now "Suck on that Jaguar drivers!" You'll hear it after every Wallaby try this Saturday night.

There was a rumour going round, some time ago, that a certain ex Leaguey, who loved nothing more than a good punching, was considered for a coaching role for the ironically named Manly team. He was ultimately rejected for the role, as all he seemed to want to do, was pull blokes off at half time.

I think he went on to either NIDA or the AFL where that sort of thing is more appropriate. On that note, did you read what that canny lad Tommy Conlon had to say about Ozzy Rules?

According to him "Aussie rules is a dumbed down field sport; it is essentially a game of long-distance running, with the ball as an optional extra." Begorrah! And to think that people reckon the Irish are dumb. Somebody hand that man a cigar!

Marty Clarke: ultimately struggled for a game with Collingwood, strolled into a game of garlic footy.

The rest of the article, after Tommy's rot, succinctly dubunks his frankly bizarre assertion that kicking an oval ball is easier than kicking a round ball.

And both garlic footballers and Aussie rules footballer kick better than Luke Burt.

Poor old Burty, he's the scapegoat for a team of big headed failures. Lose twice to the Sharks in a season and that's the choke right there. Can't blame the deadset champion Burty for that one.

The round ball is much harder to direct than an oval ball though, it takes a lot of skill. Not a whole lot of skill involved in punting (not even a place kick which is much harder) an oval ball between two sticks. Aaand, you get a point for missing! How easy is that?

Kicking a point on purpose is a lot like intentionally telling a bad joke - it's not as easy as it seems.

Pat, your ignorance is showing.

It can't be that hard if you're prepared to pay a fella who's kicked the ball 10 times in 80 games, aaand his longest kick travelled 23 metres, $4.2 million to join your team.

Doesn't say much for the existing talent in the AFL.

But what'll find Israel out, rather than booting an oval ball downfield, is that, as Tommy says, AFL is basically long distance running. At least he'll get a breather every 25 minutes, though the AFL may want him to put on the red nose and clown shoes and perform for the crowd in the breaks.

Maybe they can get that crazy sea lion from Taronga to join him and make it a double act. Now that I'd pay to see.

Pat, I know rugby league people are extremely annoyed about poaching from their player ranks by leagues with more than two bob to rub together, but to coin a phrase: stiph shit.

Stacks on Pat.

Remember that your kids have seen the light. (And you've seen the cheesecake.) When they emulate Keiran Jack and become Rules guns, you will have to give league the flick and become a rusted on rules fan.

Something to look forward to after a lifetime in the dark.

The girls chucked the AFL in for netball, and the boy gave Ozzy Rules the flick for soccer this season. It's all soccer now mate.

He's opted for tip footy over the summer break too. I tride to bribe him into milo cricket again but he'd have none of it. That settles it I guess: can't be bribed, cricket's not for him.

C'arn Sydney FC!!!

Forget the cigar, I want that golfer's shoes.

Come on Monty, I know you've done Cultural Marxist Debating 101, don't just hit Pat with the 'ignorant' jibe, go nuclear son, there must be some 'blatant racism' in there somewhere.

It's disgusting to think that in the 21st century there're still people who think that a person with the orientation different from theirs is something awful and out of this world.

"I agree, it was offensive & very thoughtless, but being friends with her for 2yrs, I know she is not homophobic," Mitcham wrote.

Ah yes Mitchster, some of my best friends are not homophobic too.

Come on Mandy, there's no need to resort to the crudity of shaming as a debate ending tactic. It's too simplistic to say it is simply an orientation. These "orientations" are diametrically opposed, and it's quite normal for one to argue against the other.

Tommy Conlon can't come at the oval ball. To him it seems unnatural and perverse and he makes a good case for his position. To him the round ball is not only right, correct and requiring skill it is the natural way, the normal way to be. Tommy simply can't handle the way those blokes hit each other hard from behind. It's not right. It's ungentlemanly and at odds with dignity and fair play.

Mandy, you need to understand that Tommy loves his own game, that it is his orientation that he loves, was born to and wants to pass on to his children as the correct way to be. The oval ball is more than a mere orientation. It is a rejection of all that is good right and proper. Mr Conlon should be applauded for his firm stance rather than be subject to your patronising self righteousness. Give him a break. I'm sure he's just as happy for you to go your own way if you'd just let him be allowed to go his.

Sheesh, who would've known Israeli's were so passionate about Ozzy Rules?! No wonder there's so many problems over there.

Some one oughta break it to them that there's more than one game in town, and that we aren't impressed or compelled by their imposing their game on us, just simply because they say so. Some of us regard our orientation just as valuable as theirs, if not more so.

'Forget the cigar, I want that golfer's shoes.
Posted by: Professor Rosseforp '

The good Professor wants Bert & Ernie shoes?
Charlie Brown shoes?
Pee Wee Herman shoes?

his Inner Cheerleader is fighting to get out.

(they are probably by Cole Haan, the premier saddle-shoe people)

Just don't wear them in the clubhouse.

Marshall Stacks, having trodden the boards rather than the greens, I have always loved golfers' shoes -- sprigs and spikes aside -- for their resemblance to tapdancing shoes. Two-tone shoes are fantastic.

I think the Irish dude is absolutely right about the current state of AFL. There is far too much emphasis on running and not nearly enough emphasis on skills. Collingwood are leading the way in that department by showing everyone it's possible to win a premiership despite missing 66% of your shots at goal, simply because you can run faster for longer.

It's unlikely the current state of play well change in favour of players who run less.

And furthermore (six hours late), if garlic football was as professional as AFL, it would be a similar sort of running game.

You mean if Gaelic Football were to throw its traditional skillsets away for the lure of filthy lucre it would look alot like Ozzy Rules hey? Then you and Tommy Conlon have a juncture of agreement.

Bruce Doull wouldn't stand a chance in today's long distance running championship known as the AFL. You guys should start scouting Nigeria to get some more diversity and talent injections.

Maybe the Demons could entice Steve Moneghetti out of retirement and have Robert de Castella as skills coach. Just think how competative you'd become! Jane Saville would make an excellent rover.

Pat, must have been a whiole since you watched a game of Australian Football. The modern player is a lot less Mona-Deeks style. It is now all about rotating the players on and off the ground, so 'the runner' inside the player now needs to be more the burst runner, not the stayer.

As to Tones' comment (without wanting to put words in his mouth), I think he meant that if the professionalism and fitness levels of the modern AFL player were applied to Gaelic players, then their game would change too. The fitness levels of plumbers and butchers playing Gaelic is about where Australian Football was in the 70's... when blokes still had a smoke at Quarter time.

Back to Tommy Conlon... I agree, there is a skill to kicking (and curving etc) a round ball, but there is also skill with our oval ball as well. A different technique is needed to get the best kick. There is even differences between oval ball shapes... the WA footballs (Burleys) are more rounder than Victorian footballs (Sherrins). Same too for Steedins.

As to Nigerian players... stand-by! A group of kids in Western Melbourne from Sudan are playing in the junior levels now, and given time and dedication, they will become gun talls.

(By the way, no longer in TKY, but back in Melb).

And now, a brilliant picture of a golfer sucking on a cigar: http://i51.tinypic.com/epkr5j.jpg

Without wanting to put words in my own mouth... Anyhoo, that's exactly what I meant. Improved fitness through advances in training techniques has meant that Aussie Rules has gone exactly how you would expect - get more players around the ball for as long as the fitness levels allow.

The modern game is best summed up by General's Forrest's civil war maxim: "Get there first with the most."

Chopper Read > General Forrest

It was them or me. I got in first. But that doesn't mean that you're happy about the decision. It was the world I was in and they were in the same world.

And I got in first.

http://www.abc.net.au/austory/transcripts/s283611.htm

[also love his "Brownlow Medal" quote from the same link]

It's not just improved fitness techniques, it's also violating the spirit of the game via the interchange bench rotations.

In the 70's when guys like Doull played, the interchange bench was used for injuries, discipline and for nursing new players, very similarly to how the soccer substitution is used today.

It wasn't there so you could get 22 guys playing 80% of a game each.

Great call, Yobbo.

First and foremost for me, however: "rules is rules."

I've got no ethical problem with a rule being exploited to its fullest. I might have a problem with it as a sports watching fan, totally depending on whether it reduces the spectacle or not.

Sometimes rule-exploitation might involve some sort of shenanigans outside the rules of the actual spectacle. I'm specifically talking about qualifying tables in the group stages of big tournaments, tanking for early draft picks in the AFL etc. [I seem to remember Steve Waugh getting hassled in a ODI World Cup about this. Can anyone help me out here? It's all a bit too vague.]

I absolutely hate all this bullshit "this is the rule but it's really poor form if you invoke the rule and if you invoke the rule all the fans and *coff* Fatprick Smith *coff* sports journalists will go "boooooo!"

The Mankad in cricket completely does my head in. I couldn't believe my eyes when I started playing indoor cricket and watched a few A-grade games. Not only was the Mankad rule invoked, it was an actual strategy used by plenty of bowlers to trick the runner into being Mankadded. High fives all 'round.

Identical rule in cricket. But: "can you see the sky?"

Yes. Therefore Mankad baaaaad. Boooooo!
No. Therefore Mankad gooood. Yaaaaay!

To cut a long story short, change the rules if it's a problem. Gutless administrators are 100% to blame.

Are AFL "there is no tanking" administrators gutless? Hmmmm.

re Aust footy - there's been a recent recognition that pure athleticism isn't all it's cracked up to be and that 'footy smart' players and skilled kickers are of value.

That said, the purely negating run with guy only needs a good enough engine to chase the champions all over the paddock all afternoon.

Reality though - comparing field skills these days to back in the '70s - the skills and skills under pressure of the modern day player are far greater - however, that in Aust Footy now the goals are more likely to be more spread (rather than a single full forward booting 6 goals a week). So, less 'specialist' kicking on goal, and usually the guy is half knackered due to running so much and often has been forced onto an angle (esp Collingwood who kick from the boundary more than anyone!!).

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