Turns out Melbourne's reputation for being a coffee city is undeserved. Well, it is according to the The Drum's James Panichi, who reckons Melbourne's coffee is disgusting:
Here's something you'll never see in writing. In fact, so deep and dark is the conspiracy to keep a lid on this that I may well be signing my death-warrant.
Here goes: why is Melbourne's coffee so bad? I mean, seriously. It goes from the disgustingly bad variety served in the cafes of Lygon Street's Little Italy to the gut-wrenching, undrinkably bad at Melbourne Airport. And this isn't 'bad' as in 'good'. Sometimes bad is just bad, and the stuff being served by this city's poncy baristas is really bad.
Au contraire. You'll see it in writing right here. I don't drink much coffee, maybe one a day, but I always thought that was because coffee in general tastes vile, not just Melbourne coffee. I've only ever had one coffee that I thought "tasted divine," as coffee wankers say, and that was in Berlin.