THIRD TEST: SHIVA ME TIMBERS!

You can forget about blaming our batting; that's not the reason we are struggling in this series. First, some of the balls that have skittled our batsmen would have skittled many of the great batsmen in history: Bradman, Hobbs, Richards, Martin Kent. Second, unless we also get the ball moving like the Indians have, they will continue to knock up large scores. Any chance we can try holding and hiding* the ball like they do?

	SG balls make us bunnies INDIA'S torture chamber for Australia's batsmen has been unlocked and the mysterious weapon is reverse-swinging cricket balls. The SG balls used in this Test series have the same pronounced seam and oily characteristics as the Duke balls that armed English henchmen Simon Jones and Andy Flintoff in the 2005 Ashes series. The SG balls, made in India and the Duke balls, in Pakistan, are vastly different to the Kookaburra balls our batsmen face at home.
	This time it is Zaheer Khan and Ishant Sharma who have morphed into savage reverse swing assassins who get the SG ball to swing like a boomerang to Australia's middle and lower order. It is a major factor going into today's third Test in Delhi.

 

Strange as it may seam - That's a joke, boy! - I'm not worried about this series. India are a monty to win from here. They were a monty to win before the series started. Anyone who says/said otherwise is kidding themselves.

Sit back, suck it up, learn.

* Anyone see Mark Waugh and Nathan Bracken on The Cricket Show? Waugh asked a perfectly reasonable question about "hiding the ball" but Bracken's answer was both a non sequitur and gobbledegook. Quite an effort, actually. It even fired up Waugh.

Comments

[pat]

Come on Binga, beam Bang Bang's head. Take the crunt out to see the stars.

[m0nty]

That article ends on a rum note. Apparently because Americans think cricket is gentlemanly, and India is the new power, Punter should take a Bowie knife to the cheekbone.

Thank god he's not Richard Gere, that's all I can say. His pull shot is ordinary.

[Tony T.]

And he hasn't played a good innings since Primal Fear.

[Tony T.]

As opposed to Primal Park. That was a stylish half century by Mondo Rock.

[m0nty]

Ummm... this song by Primal Scream sounds like there's a cricket chirping in it?

Yeah, I got nothing.

[pat]

Good Lord, I haven't felt so enraged by an article since Spanky's Sydney missive. One decent sentence in the whole lot which you've cited already.

I pray for a conservative government again so we can all get off our knees and throw up the leftist guilt chunks they're determined to blow down our throats.

[nick]

Captain Mozz! Nothing there for the pace...wicket!

[Tony T.]

Bowled. Hit the sheds, Verandah!

India 1/29.

[pat]

That's it Binga, that's it. Keep on steaming, let your hate consume you, let the anger take over. Soon you will be Sith, like Lillee and Thommo before you.

[Tony T.]

Pick the obvious:

Lee to Sehwag, OUT, bowled 'em! Lee dislodges Sehwag for the second time in the match, pitching on a fuller length and getting the ball to nip back in a shade, Sehwag's feet go nowhere and he gets a little inside edge back onto the stumps.

(Hint: it's in bold)

[nick]

And again!

[pat]

More Binga more. Leave some Blood on the Tracks.

[pat]

More, more, more

[Tony T.]

Instant, outstant.

India 2/34.

[m0nty]

Instant is now Punter's bunny. Lock it in, Eddie.

[pat]

2 overs, one more wicket.

[pat]

Gaaaaahhhhh!!!! Why did Wild Dog Running bring on Pup and Kat? Why?!!

[pat]

In Honour of Day 4, Feroz Shah Kotla:

Wild Dog Running's Song:

"Three days was the morning.
My focus three days old.
My head, it landed
To the sounds of cricket balls...

I am proud man anyway...
Covered now by three days..."

Jane's Addiction, Three Days

No one would have believed, in the last years of the Australian cricketing era, that our affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of India.

No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered
the possibility of beating Australia and yet, across the gulf of the Indian Ocean, minds immeasurably gayer than ours regarded our cricketing glory with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us.

Those plans came drastically unstuck on day 4 of this Test when the residual pride of Australia stood up, borne forward from its primordial genetic mix of criminal and lord, paradoxically stirred in a colander called the great south land, to form a gelatinous substance that not even the strongest of Victorian era leftover thinking could unstick.

Ably led by the noblest of its sons from the noblest of its states, the young gun, carrying the burden of a nation and a gorgeous wife to be, riding his luck and soon (hopefully) his wife to be, stood resolute, only being dropped thrice on his way.

And when the dust had settled this great nation, humiliated such that its Citizens from great towns like Geelong (long known for killing their cows and milking their bulls) supplicated themselves at the foot of their willing masters, found itself at the doorway of a great victory courtesy of their Eastern brethren.

As soon as the last hurrah had been sung on their batting in steamed two Bluesmen to rattle the scones of the dark foe. Once, twice they struck to be only unsettled by their Captain gone raby mad to introduce another two Bluesmen into this brew of toil and trouble, froth and bubble. But alas, though their spirit was willing, their flesh was weak. Overburdened many said from carrying the nation on their backs.

Yet, yet, at stumps, after all was done, after the insurmountable task was seen to be surmounted, they stood, men, in this game made for men, proud, noble, girded with an aegis of optimistic superiority that no man could travail. And masters of the day they were.

Masters of the Test.

[nick]

Pat has f*cked us. Crouching Little Master, Sleeping Dravid, and Talks with Elbow will destroy us with the bat in Sessions 1 and 2, and we will collapse in Session 3. Sydney will be avenged - it will all be Pat's fault.

[Tony T.]

He does go on.

[nick]

Chappelli thinks Talks with Elbow should have entered into dialogue with Bats like Crab. Must be some lucrative IPL commentating contracts coming up for renewal.

[nick]

The Wall is down - his penultimate Test I think.

[Tony T]

Wall-D, now passing E on the express through to Zee.

(Excuzee mee.)

[Carrot]

Blood On The Tracks? When did we decide to go all Dylan?

India's scoring rate this morning has been absolutely diabolical. Not exactly the smartest way to go about saving a test. Unless they're waiting for a change of bowling so that they can take the likes of Johnson or Watson to the cleaners and get themselves out of trouble.

Still, so far, this is exactly what Australia would have wanted. A wicket, and not many runs.

[Tony T]

Yo, coolsters, netsters and hooked-in, hooked-on and hooked-up bomb shizzlers!

Croocy has a facebook page.

[Tony T]

India 2/43 at stumps, now 3/59. That 16 runs in 53 minutes.

Yer spot on, Carrot.

[Tony T]

Naturally, as soon as I hit "post" Lee goes 4, 4lb and 3 off TLM.

Time for a change of bowling.

[Russ]

carrot, exactly. It isn't 06/07 England in Adelaide diabolical, but given the precedent you have to wonder what they are thinking?

[Carrot]

If I were Ponting, I might be tempted to bowl Clark until he croaks today. 2.09 runs an over in the first dig, 1.90 so far this time round. Just what's needed to build pressure. It's a pity that a) we don't have a good spinner at the other end, and b) that the scorecard of 70/3 isn't three wickets without Verandah's - were he in this would be just about prime time for him to play a stupid shot and hand as the game. Can't see Gambhir and Tendulkar being quite so rash.

[Tony T]

Reminds me of 07/08 Adelaide when, apart from V-Slog, India played out the whole day five for a draw.

[Tony T]

Technical point on language, words, sentences, lingo thingos and economy of style.

22.6 Lee to Gambhir, FOUR, very welcome boundary for India, he slides it on the pads and lands as a half volley, he just whips it away past the vacant square leg region.

If you whip it away "past the vacant square leg region", are you not hitting it through either mid-wicket or backward square? Vacant, or otherwise.

[Carrot]

One..... more.... wicket, right about now, and we're in business.

That's why I'm still awake at (Jesus Christ!) 6:03 am.

[Carrot]

Clarke on for Clark? WTF? Punter, what are you DOING???

Someone with a tv tell me that he's injured or something. That was surely one of the more dense things that Ponting's done this series.

[Tony T]

About "change". I meant "fruitful change" not "fruit for the sightscreen".

[Russ]

I can't agree with that carrot. If India lose wickets, maybe, but we might need to bowl again as soon as Thursday. This isn't the time to knacker a bloke.

Ponting has taken the completely wrong lessons from Clarke's pair of miracle performances with the ball. He should have learnt he is a good option when he needs a wicket on a turning track, having tried all else. He seems to think he is Warne reincarnated as a left arm orthodox spinner. The pace bowlers were doing the job just fine, Clarke is leaking runs badly.

[nick]

Is Johnson injured? What about that Katich bloke? Will punter come on at the other end, with Hussey replacing Clarke, for a bit of County Championship declaration bowling?

[Tony T]

Off Clarke, on Studsy or PC. One or the other from the other end.

Otherwise.

Or else. Wise.

[nick]

'spouse swapping, just another day at cricinfo'

I can see why they've not brought Spanky onto the full time payroll.

[Tony T]

It all started here:

Jason sends us this chuckle: "I would bet my wife on this match being a draw." Ah! history here. Yudhishtar, the Pandava, who bet his wife Draupadi, in a game of dice in the legendary epic Mahabharata. And Jason, lost his wife btw.

Off Clarke, on Yudhishtar.

[Carrot]

Thursday or not, I still wouldn't have taken him off then. And I certainly wouldn't have gone for the double-change. Particularly not with a freakin' PART-TIMER. That REALLY annoys me - and I agree with Russ on that point, that's for sure.

I'm off to bed. See you in the next test, gents!

[Tony T]

You're quite the morning owl.

[nick]

SGW!!!!!!!!!

[Tony T]

That's that it was:

Gambhir ... was struck on the leg stump line and it would have missed leg. Hawk eye too confirms that but that's that.

[Tony T]

4/99 at lunch. Sluggish work from India, but Kirsten said they would go slow and steady until lunch, then have a look at the state of the match.

Looks like they will continue the S & S. Leading by 135, they still need to get out of danger.

If they don't, and we roll 'em within range, we will be chasing around 200+, which would make for a very, very unsettling couple of hours.

[nick]

For the short skirts, Tony, the short skirts...

[Tony T]

In case you are wondering what Nick is on about: heavy hitting at Croocy.

Rob Flattery has a response to Brad on wallabies v All blacks game: "Brad, turn it up mate. Maybe if your props learned how to scrum they wouldn't be penalised so much. And you wanna talk bad refereeing...did you watch the NZ/Oz netball today?"

Tony T takes a dig: "Why would anyone sane person watch netball... apart from desperate Kiwis? Back to the rowing and equestrian, mate."

Chuck: "All this talk of rowing, equestrian and netball is getting on my nerves. Excuse me while I play another round of Ludo." Ha! no betting but please.

Any way the game is about to resume

...

Brad Sparkes: "Pat maybe right about the Umps looking after Mitch Johnson or his birthday, or maybe they are just feeling like Australian sports fans deserve some umpiring decisions in their favour after the appalling efforts in last nights game between the Wallabies and the All Blacks."

[Vindicate]

"riding his luck and soon (hopefully) his wife to be"

Fvck NO! D'you know what happens to our sportsmen the minute they get hitched? See LLeyyttonn for details, or at best - you can hope they still think they're single - like Warnie - and retain their form.

[Russ]

Strange comment from Kirsten. How was the game going to change in their favour if they went slow and steady? Even if they were 2/120 at lunch, there would be no way to force a victory without Australia gifting the game to them. If they were 180+ and pushing then I'd be worried, no matter how many wickets they'd lost. But this is tedious and defensive (again).

[Russ]

Oh, and what has Paper Cut done wrong to be snubbed again? It isn't as if Clarke is actually causing any damage. Apart from the over-rate, why bowl him?

[Tony T]

Talks With Elbow gave P-Cut broken ribs.

[Tony T]

Russ, in fairness to Kirsten, and in the pursuit of accuracy - the golden thread that binds the AGB mission statement - this is exactly what Kirsten said:

Indian coach Gary Kirsten said his men would wait until lunch before deciding whether they would press for victory.

"We are 79 ahead. We will want to bat for a session and a bit to put ourselves in a strong position and see what happens."

Either Jonny Pierik verballed him, or I did. You decide.

[Tony T]

Vindicate, a subject close to the heart of National Geographic:

Sex and Sports: Should Athletes Abstain Before Big Events?

"There are two possible ways sex before competition could affect performance," said Ian Shrier, a sports medicine specialist at McGill University in Montreal, Canada.

"First, it could make you tired and weak the next day," Shrier said. "This has been disproved.

"The second way is that it could affect your psychological state of mind. This has not been tested," he said.

[Russ]

Tony, your quote was close enough. If they wanted to press for victory they needed to start last night.

Not that they necessarily needed to press for victory.

Oh look, Paper Cut and White are on. Could Punter send a clearer message that the only result will be a draw?

[Tony T]

Wicket. India 5/147.

TLM, White's bunny.

White's Rabbit, if you remember the 60s.

[pat the true]

Having my first opportunity to watch the cricket live on Fox I was overcome with a feeling so great that I suddenly become prone upright, one hand on my chest the other on my lumbar, for one whole hour with nary but a glistening snail track of tear to betray my swollen hearts pride.

Once the Panadeine Forte had kicked in and my immobilising back spasm had subsided I was able to fold gracefully into the lounge and reflect upon this Test.

For the sake of brevity, for I am a man of few words, humble as I am, the words of Churchill would only come to mind with regard India. For never in the field of cricketing conflict has a team with so much talent given so little.

And when my thoughts turn to Wild Dog Running and his men, and the expectations that they would fold I remember those people of which was said: "They do not live their lives "by your leave"! They hack it out of the wilderness with their own two hands, bearing their children along the way!"

[pat the true]

Australia!

[Bruce]

Spanky still can't help himself:

A thousand pities the Australians did not speak to him in Sydney.

FFS! Let it go!