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So. The match on Saturday is over?

It is for Geelong.

Newman excelled in that wheelchair chase scene in Silent Movie.

(Now I'm off to IMDB to make sure I didn't make a David Armstrong-style mistake.)

Cool Hand Cat on a Towering Inferno.

All-time classic, if you ask me.

Everything on the Ernie Sigley show should be exempt from criticism due to the fact that it takes place in an alternative universe that the rest of us don't have access to.

Newman was also great, escaping from Germany, jumping his wheelchair into a barb wire fence.

The Mad Magazine version of Towering Inferno had Newman finding McQueen's cat Bullitt in a room on the 88th floor and chucking it out the window thinking it would land safely on OJ Simpson's Ford Bronco parked in the street. Or something like that. I forget the exact details.

And yes, I was only accidentally passing by the parallel universe that is Ernie's show. There was another ad break, or sports update or Mark Doran suck-up session on SEN.

Just heard a deadbeat Hawthorn supporter on SEN just get asked "How many grand finals have you seen your side win in your lifetime?"


He was only 35. That kind of stuff makes me sick.

Ernie Sigley, alternative universe sick.

Hawthorn won their first flag three months before I was born and have now won nine in my lifetime. THAT is why I would have preferred the Catters to win.

And Hawk fans, despite winning a shed load of flags up to 1991, were bitter and twisted about not having won a flag for 17 years.

Bitter and twisted! Get in line, flag hogs!

They have not been down anywhere near enough to deserve the stars aligning like they did last Saturday.

Four years ago they had an OK list, but a shit coach which enabled them to make the most of a clean sweep with a new coach. Then they luck onto a clever coach, but only because the Tiges and the Dogs got the jump on Wallace and Eade. (No one in their right mind would pick Ayres.) They could then trade away the OK list for good picks and load up on priority and high picks.

I wish Melbourne had a shit coach four years ago. (Ironically, Hawthorn belted Melbourne in Round 1 2004 before collapsing.) Then we could have cleaned up in the draft and traded Yze, White, Green and Bruce when they had some serious value and loaded up with good picks and been properly challenging now rather than being a pretender in 2004, 2005, 2006, a basket case in 2007 and 2008, and looking at a long, slow rebuild in the age of compromised drafts.

Three prelim finals in five years only to crash into the hurdle each time, with another final to regret against your Dees Tone (15 points up in the last quarter if I remember rightly) and to see the Hawks do it in their first real crack is hard to take.

Now our timing means we can't rebuild because the best kids will be going up north from now on. Do you do it anyway and hope to pick up a couple of diamonds from the rough, or keep an ok but ageing side too reliant on one star to keep knocking at the door? Do you keep kicking at the door until you kick it in or break your leg?

I saw a eulogy to Sigley on one of the current affair-type shows about a fortnight ago. There were a few clips, but no background on his show-biz history, so if you didn't know him, the story would have made no sense. In the interview, he revealed nothing about bitter feuds, mentioned no names, harboured no grudges, and refused to enter into mudslinging or muckraking.
Come to think of it, the story did make no sense.

Ernie has a nickname in Melbourne: Topper.

He always has a story to top the person he's interviewing.

And Hawk fans, despite winning a shed load of flags up to 1991, were bitter and twisted about not having won a flag for 17 years.

Precisely why I was hoping, against the odds, that it'd be a Saints vs Bulldogs final - those poor buggers only have the one each.

As for Ernie, he's got no f'ing idea about the world other than his church, his chateux in Francais and his glory days at Radio Luxembourg.

To be perfectly frank, I would prefer NO team wins... except Melbourne. But if you have to boil it down to which side you would least mind winning, I suppose it's a toss-up between the Bullies and Geelong. Not St Kilda, though, their fans are feral.

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