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Even worse, a friend of mine worked with someone who narrated everything he did in a quiet yet audible "to self" voice.

"Just checking my email..."
"Just signing a cheque..."

etc

~~ "Shut up, idiot!"

~~ "Just getting yelled at by colleague..."

It would be really naff to leave a comment now which said 'are you 'aving a larf', wouldn't it?

"It would be really naff to leave a comment now which said 'are you 'aving a larf', wouldn't it?"

'E's 'avin' a larf, innee?

Champagne comedy, that.

Now Tony
Here is a question you MUST answer or it will be repeated.
I have been working at an inner city school and amongst many strange things, I have noticed an enormous amount of HUGGING going on. Mostly girl-girl often boy-girl and sometimes boy-boy.
1. What is going on
2 . Where did this start
3. was it a stupid American tv show(oxymoron alert)
Answers please!

It's a tricky one. If she's simply stating the obvious because she can't be bothered to think about properly engaging you in a proper conversation then I think the most you would be charged with is manslaughter. If on the other hand she is simply a nervous, eager to please, puppy dog, what-a-wonderful-world type then a wry grin from yourself is permissable.

My personal favourite is "what's that book you're reading?" or similar, to which I'm always tempted to say "well, I'm not reading it anymore am I, I'm having a conversation with you!" or something equally arsey.

If you can be arsed, download Bill Engvall's rant on this very subject. He tours with Jeff Foxworthy and is piss funny.

Dear Christ.

Today's youngsters are emotionally weak and need lots of hugs.

I hope this answers your questions.

Cheers

Not even close scotch
Cheers back

I thing the problem here is the weak opening move of "Morning". Perhaps instead you could try the more provocative "Do you suck cock?" or "John says you give great blow jobs" for a less bland response.

Me (sitting on chair, watching the door): "Are you coming into the room?"

She: "wtf?"

I think Woody's closest to the mark. I give her the wry grin with a sprinkle of bemusement.

I'd get the sack if I was even just tempted to go with Clem's, but Phil's has merit via the all-important Get The First One In rule.

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