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Hey - heard the one about the crosseyed teacher ?

Could never get his pupils to line up.

That's a "good one".

Actually, it's not a bad one.

Ever hear Bert Newton exclaim "good one!" while hosting Family Feud? Cracks me up every time.


Don't look at me.

I'll remember that for next time a student cracks me up.

Never curry favour with vermin like students, Tone. Before you know it you'll be texting each other, swapping photos, appearing in court, homeless, drinking on street corners and shouting at cars.

And who'll drive past?

Yep, the teacher that was being a "total tool".

Sensible advice, Woody.

Just recently I was having an interesting conversation about how best to relate to students. My policy is to give them friendly ridicule about their atrocious taste in music, television and recycled gags. They seem to approve of a teacher who takes the piss out of them. On the surface, anyway.

It's a fine line you need to tread between trying to get on with them and looking as though you're sucking up to them.

University research has shown that traditionally students much prefer a teacher who takes the piss out of themselves.

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