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Not forgetting the warm milk at recess.

The Quink ink spills and dodgy Platignum fountain pens.

The cane! "Thank you, Sir, may I have another."

All good.

I thought you were a high school teacher? Do you have incredibly stupid Gen Xers there who have repeated for the last 10 years or something? Baffling.

Nope. I'm guessing the person who wrote the memo didn't realise Gen X was a little too early for the time frame.

But you know that Simpsons episode where Bart is shown still at school when he's old and fat? Well, that isn't too much of a stretch.

I'm a Generation Cliché member, and - if I recall correctly - pretty much every exercise book or textbook I ever used had been run off by the Government Printer in some massive job lot in about 1961. The exercise books had road safety advertisements printed on the back with impossibly neat children who looked like they were only one bright flash away from diving under their school desks until the nuclear all-clear sounded.

This was WA, of course.

Was it full of thirsty paper that sucked ink out of your pen, and made big blobs?

Some books had that paper. Others had this really shiny paper which was actually quite nice to write on with a pen. It was a bit of a lottery.

Ah the old ink sucking paper ... used to give all the left handers the shits 'cause they would get stains all down their writing arm.

Being the sensitive types we, of course, mocked them for the ink stains AND their mutantness.

Printed material? I keep hearing how that's all gone the way of blunderbusses and inkhorns and so on, because computers, etc. Just the other day Time magazine had a cover showing a kid downloading stuff directly into his head.

Carny, I fininshed primary school in 1994. We still had the same exercise books then.

I can't decide whether that's comforting or deeply disturbing.

You young people are disturbing. I can't understand half the things my students, like, say. Like. The only time they speak coherently is when they are lying.

all school memories are overwhelmed by the thought of baked bean sandwiches that mum sent me off with. by lunch time the bread was soggy. only beaten by the dreaded "celery and sultana". yes.

I'm on the GC so X & Y are just types of drugs...or extra chromosomes that we have

Our school supplied printed materials were excellent for drawing penises on all the men in the pictures in the commerce books.

The teacher regularly devoted classes to removing the offending sights. Of course we'd draw one and put our hands up "Sir, I've found another one." He'd come over shake his head in dismay. "Sir, I'll remove it immediately" and then proceed to liquid paper over the outline.

We were simple young x-men.

I thought there was a generation "next" in there somewhere. It's all very confusing. I think I need a Pepsi.

Pepsi? Like, duuuuude!

Well, way back when I started primary school, we had conversion tables.

A mine of information:
1 acre = 4 roods*
1 mile = 1,760 yards*
8 chains to the mile*
1 gallon = 8 pints*
1 pint = 16 fluid ozs*

then the old avoirdupois (froggy - "to have the pois")system. Brilliant!
1 bushell = 28 lbs*
112 lbs = 1cwt*
20cwt = 1 ton* (and that's a TON, not a bloody poofy Gen X/Y tonne)
1 ton = 2,240 lbs*

* I think. It was a long time ago.

Ah, those were the days ... I always said that when Kimbo promised to roll back GST that if he'd promised to roll back metrics instead, I'd have voted for him. A mile is so much more manly than these flakey kilometres.

How many perches in a rood?

Believe it or not, a rood is forty square rods.

A rood awakening. Now I have a head acre.

Those head acres are a chain in the neck.

Pedro wisdom here.

don't woory, it won't last furlong

I think they're trying to say that modelling glue, stencil fumes and liquid paper solvents need to be put back into your handouts. For all their crystal meth and ecstasy, Gen X & Gen Y students are trying to get reacquainted with Australian traditions. In my days a thigh school, fountain pens started making something of a comeback, as students realised that they made for highly accurate ink-slingshots, and could be used for carving erect penises and splayed vaginas into the desks. In my last year at high school, paper signs reading "Kick me" and "Fist me I'm Trent" started appearing on peoples' backs for the first time in many years.

Who's Trent? And why is he fistworthy? Unless it's Terrence Trent Darby. Betcha he's an expert in what's fistworthy. (What happened to him, anyway?)

PS: I used to be amazed the way modelling paint solvent would dissolve the plasic cups I stored the paint brushes in.

Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. One look at his videos will explain his fistworthiness.

Yes, solvents were wonderful. In 1st grade art class my overall-clad butch lesbian teacher had the great idea of getting us kiddies to etch pictures into styrofoam sheets with organic solvent. In no time at all the room was filled with choking toxic fumes that had tears streaming down our faces and the asthmatics running outside gasping and desperately reaching for their inhalers. Sadly, it couldn't happen today.

I once set a Lancaster bomber on fire with mower petrol and the flame got back into the can and almost burnt the shed down. Good times.

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