As of today, I haven't had a drink for TWOOO YEEEARS!
James Thurber once said something like "One drink is alright, two too many and three not enough." That's close; two maaaay be too many and three definitely not enough, but one is never alright.
People often say to me "Cmon, Tone, why don't you have just one drink? It won't hurt." Those people are idiots, I may as well take advice on kite flying from Charlie Brown. What is the point of having one drink? There is no point. And what is one drink? I'll tell you what one drink is; one drink is nothing. So there you have it in a nutshell. By having nothing to drink, I'm actually having one drink. Christ, it's really that simple. People are morons! Never listen to people, I tell you.