Time to pull down some top shelf mozz.
It's amazing how often a game of cricket can turn on one single stroke of pissant tinny luck.
After another day of proving just how far they've fallen in the catching caper, Australia put their collective heads down and had ground out a servicable lead, but right when the game was there to go either way, right when fifty each from Boof Lehmann and Michael Clarke would have tilted the game strongly in Australia's favour, Boofhead managed to give his wicket away to the worst ball Anil Kumble's ever bowled. As classic a case of that old cricket maxim, "shit gets wickets", as ever there was. To top it off, Boof's gently lobbed cue-end snick, instead of making a fieldsman work, went straight to Parti Boy Patel who was able to drag in what was for him, an absolute blinder. In fact, it looked as though he couldn't believe he caught it. Hack. It's not right a team should lose a test to a side with a wicket-keeper as bad as Parti Boy. It's just not right. It's wrong.
Lehmann's dismissal meant the Aussies weren't able to send their innings into the fifth day, and with the pitch playing as well as any subcontinental fifth day pitch has ever played, the Indian dead-track specialists are set for a comfortable victory, because there is no way -- MOZZ! -- the Aussies are going to rip through them. And anyway, if Verandah Slog, the best rabbit batsman in test history, gets going, the Indians will win by lunch.
Fackin' Lehmann, feel free to drop yourself right now.
By the way, Stacky and Glen Mitchell need their passports revoked. No. Let's not go light here, they need to be made to guzzle Indian water and then tied to a chair with a pack of Imodiums placed agonizingly just out of reach. They virtually wished for the two wickets that fell before tea merely to prove Mr Submarine right. Not even Tim Lane, Australia's greatest wicket taker, would tempt that kind of fate. They have no idea.
Pssst. Cricket's the best game in the world.
Yeah....Old Verinda Seaslog will bash them to victory. Shades of the last series over here Tony, win the first, lose the next bloody two. Clarke & Boofs needed to put on about 120/130 i reckon to put us in for a shout- Warnie is not likely to take 7-48, if he does i WILL eat my dog.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 17 October 2004 at 22:58
What kind of dog is it, Brett? Hot? Ho Ho.
Naa, I think your pooch is say for the moment.
Posted by: Tony.T | 17 October 2004 at 23:09
Those fucking arseholes ruined it bringing that blasted Submarine Seer into it, and as for mentioning partnerships that batted all day just before tea....
By the way, doesn't saying *MOZZ* kinda ruin it?
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 18 October 2004 at 11:35
Funny you should mention that, Wicky, I thought long and hard/ish about the MOZZ bit, but decided that today I needed to pull out all the stops.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 October 2004 at 11:39
Well, I've been writing the same thing over at Ubersportingpundit.
Between us this year, we've derailed Brisbane's fourth flag and the ALP. This would make a nice hat-trick.
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 18 October 2004 at 11:44
Your right too that it is an absolute rort to lose to a side with a keeper as bad as Patel. I played C grade last year and our team's keeper was a 48 year old bush walla who could teach this lad a thing or two- firstly, about picking Kumble.. I mean, if you cant pick that googly...
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 18 October 2004 at 11:46
Excellent. All I can say is, "Keep up the good work".
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 October 2004 at 11:46
*Hear the rhyme of the Ancient Mariner..."
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 18 October 2004 at 14:22
I think I missed something here. Understandable. 11:46 is peak hour at the AGB. Yep. Patel's a dead set scrubber.
I don't get your Mariner reference though. Unless, of course, you're about to launch into Python's Albatross Sketch.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 October 2004 at 14:36
"It is an ancient wicket-keeper
And he stoppeth one of three"?
Not quite scanning, but close.
BTW. Proof that God is an Australian - it's chucking it down in Chennai!
Posted by: John R | 18 October 2004 at 14:59
Well, whaddaya know! Pah! Stupid me! Second opinion un-necessary, John. Given his middle name, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN Coleridge was a cricket fan. And the "one in three" stats also means he was no doubt accurately anticipating Parti Boy.
Yeeeeeeee of little faith. I'm sure the Aussies wanted to get out there to get stuck into the Indians.
PS: I wonder if it rains Cows and ... something else ... in Chennai.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 October 2004 at 16:30
"Yeeeeeeee of little faith" - ah, Tony, 'tis my Yorkshire heritage coming through. A draw's better than a potential loss, any day.
By the way, Samuel Geoffrey Coleridge certainly was a cricket fan. Didn't he also write
"At Faislabad did Imran Khan
a hundred score just after tea"
Posted by: John R | 18 October 2004 at 17:22
Leave the hearth and leave the house
To the cricket and the mouse
Posted by: boynton | 18 October 2004 at 17:49
It's a Draw! We are Saved! The Mozzman savant strikes again!
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 18 October 2004 at 18:07
"At Faislabad did Imran Khan
a hundred score just after tea ... "
That's because he citizen kaned the bowling.
Leave the hearth and leave the house
To the cricket and the mouse
'Tis grouse.
The Mozzman savant strikes again!
There's poetry in the fact I didn't spell "savant" right.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 October 2004 at 19:30
INDIA were saved by the rain- the next wicket is supposed to be a beaut, but i reckon messrs Kumble & Singh will have something to say about it's preparation. It won't be a batters paradise THIS time, just a dusty, crumbling dustbowl from second 1 of the 1st day.
By the way, i play park cricket with and against blokes who bat like Vehrinder Seaslug, you know, the bloke with the 'eye like a dead fish' who doth slog to all parts in merry abandon. I even bat a bit like him myself. The difference ? I have yet to be noticed by my State, or even National Selecters and so remain a humble servant of batting like a bloody windmill wherever the ball is pitched.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 19 October 2004 at 02:47
"eye like a dead fish"?!?
You haven't been taking notice of Dean Jones, have you Brett? That's a bad sign. Consult your physician.
Good point about the dodgy tracks though. To be sure, I'm not expecting a greentop.
Posted by: Tony.T | 19 October 2004 at 08:58
Tony, Tony, you should know that phrase. It was uttered by the great Shane himself, when describing Sehwags batting 'style' It's a backflipped compliment in Warnese, apparently.
And NOBODY takes any notice of Dean Jones i reckon. I hope.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 22 October 2004 at 03:04
so. You have the to anyway you wish. And I have to right to ask you to that the religion you may not be the right one. If you dont wish to change, tell
I wont it up again you are dear to me and I really like to see you in heaven after we die. The problem is that too many pomise that will get to heaven if you do things their way but have nothing to back that up. Mine at lays down ways to do it. the of others if they will ignore sins isnt a way that ANY , to my .
Posted by: Sandy | 12 February 2012 at 14:33
Jack me and I'll jack you back.
-Cypress Hill
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 12 February 2012 at 15:10
F**k off, Sandy.
Posted by: Tony | 12 February 2012 at 20:36