Crank yanking Frankston council are a humourless pack of wankers ... and it seems the Herald Sun has imported a pack of London Sun punsters to cover the story. Great work by the way ...
A GIANT wooden penis that stood proudly in a Frankston front yard has been forced down under pressure from angry authorities.
Frankston Council ordered the 170cm sculpture be removed after it gave some residents a major case of the willies.
But its proud creators, IT specialist Brett O'Neill and mate Dean Janssen, insisted the wooden piece was a work of art and should not have been manhandled by the long arm of the law.
"A lot of statues in people's yards have penises, what's wrong with this?" Mr O'Neill said.
The phallic feature was created by Mr O'Neill and Mr Janssen, who after a few beers, decided it would be a good idea to shape a tree stump at the front of Mr O'Neill's home.
Not just a good idea, the boys had a vision ...
Mr O'Neill said he even planned to eventually turn it into a fountain, with water cascading from the top into a rock pool and fish pond at the base.
And sad neighbours ...
"I am sorely disappointed I didn't get to see it as a water feature," Rhonda Jones said.
Sadly in every neighbourhood there's always a ... ho ho ... wet blanket ...
Another neighbour, who declined to be named, described the penis as an eyesore and said he was especially annoyed when the creators put two large boulders at its base.
Perhaps the Frankston council should be employed to vet what is -- and isn't -- "appropriate" in our national galleries. They can pull some publicly funded pud.
UPDATE: Slatts has a bigger one. Aaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ... I kill me.