A CZECH-BORN woman has been found guilty of racially abusing her New Zealand-born neighbour by calling her a "stupid, fat Australian".
The Daily Mail reports that the row started after New Zealander Chelsea O'Reilly called the police following a fight between her neighbour Petra Mills and her husband in Macclesfield, England.
"She called me a stupid, fat Australian b****. Because of my accent there can be some confusion over my nationality. She knew I was from New Zealand. She was trying to be offensive. I was really insulted. She said she would kill my dog. Bizarrely she then blew raspberries at me like a child."
Germaine! Germaine! Germaine! Rather than cringe and shit-can "Aussie three times" Germaine Greer reckons we ought to embrace our inner bogan, as well as giving the infamous chant a historical, if perhaps far-fetched, context:
SO FOXTEL wants us to stop chanting, ''Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!'', and is prepared to give $10,000 to anyone who can come up with a better cry. There are some, apparently, who consider ''Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!'' unnecessarily confrontational, repellently nationalist, unsporting even.
Of course, far be it from me to contradict Germs on matters of etymology (which, as you all know, is the study of the history of insects, their origins, and how their forms have changed over time).
Nestle has been forced to take down an image from its Kit Kat Facebook fan page, after it emerged that it was similar to an icon used to ward off paedophiles.
The picture of the nut brown-coloured bear was used briefly to promote Kit Kat Bars on the Facebook page of the Nestle-owned chocolate bar. The company said it had no idea that the image matched that of “Pedobear” - considered visual shorthand on the internet for sites posting material with inappropriate overtones towards minors.
It is de-riguer - a hyphen? read on - for us right-wingers to knee-jerkingly ridicule Germaine Greer, but dash it all if I don't find her too damn interesting. Well, interesting apart from The Female Eunuch, which was about as interesting as people who say "that's about as interesting as watching grass grow/paint dry."
Anyway, despite Macquarie Dictionary's dictatorial directives, I'll use my dashes anyway I want them:
RICHIE Benaud told Leo Schofield not so long ago that he loved the Australian way of using words and was never without Sidney J. Baker's The Australian Language. As an author who is at present enduring the rigours of having her book translated from English into Australian, I swiftly purchased a copy of the second edition.
Currently watching "Elizabeth: Virgin Queen" on The History Channel, a show which boldly claims to reveal the truth that QEI did not marry because she, contrary to popular misconceptions, died as a child and was replaced by a boy.
Now you know why he preferred Hot Wheels to Barbie Dolls.
"North have built this side really well. They have been able to build this list on the back of some genuine bargains."
The graphic (there's always the graphic):
Michael Firrito - Rookie Draft
Scott McMahon - Rookie Draft
Leigh Adams - Rookie Draft
Matt Campbell - Rookie Draft
Nathan Grima - Rookie Draft
Cruize Garlett - Rookie Draft
Cam Pedersen - Rookie Draft
Aaron Mullett - Rookie Draft
Aaron Edwards - Pick 82 - 2006
Lindsay Thomas - Pick 53 - 2006
Brent Harvey - Pick 47 - 1995
Andrew Swallow - Pick 43 - 2005
Excuse my skepticism. The inclusion of Brent Harvey smacks of padding. "Look! Boomer was drafted at 47 - that will bolster our point." North built its 1990s list with Harvey. North already had Harvey when Dean Laidley re-built the list in the Noughties. Now, under Brad Scott, "this side" and "this list" merely inherited Harvey.
Someone is going to have to crack open a can of #FootyMaths to assist in the AFL's on-going struggle with unintended consequences.
Since the introduction of the current substitute rule, footy fans have been party to the following justification:
"The substitute rule works brilliantly. Late in games players are tiring dramatically, allowing the games to open right up."
Of late, conspiratorially as a distraction from GWS shenanigans and other inspired AFL hi-jinx, it has been mooted that the game is too long:
"At 30+ minutes, quarters are too long. Late in games players are tiring dramatically, putting their well-being and careers at risk."
In a nutshell: We can make the game better by making the players more tired; by making the players less tired, we can make the game better.
The AFL, through its rules committee, introduces a new rule or rule modification - "tweak", to employ the prevailing user-friendly vernacular. Mind you, Kevin Bartlett remains dogged (tiger-like, even) in his defence: "there are next to NO new rules." This change, in turn, precipitates another change, and another, etc, et al, and so on. Which is great for KB, who gets to oversee another tweak. See how it works?
I could not bring myself to hate Judd because he went to Carlton instead of Melbourne; he's just too bloody good. And anyway, recent events appear to illustrate why he might have chosen Royal Parade. That, and his cushy deal at Visy. I also wanted to mention that both Judd and Buddy barracked for Melbourne before they played AFL. And also that I had, coincidentally, had a multi on Collingwood for the flag, Judd for the Brownlow and Buddy for the Coleman.
THAT'S, or rather THIS! is what I am talking about!
Austrian's wouldn't give a XXXX for "automated programming systems":
ABC pulls plug on VFL game
It was lights, cameras and suddenly no action for ABC viewers of Saturday's AFL match of the round between Port Melbourne and Williamstown.
With only a couple of minutes to go, at 4pm, Williamstown was five points down and storming home when the ABC pulled the plug on the live coverage.
It turned out there were only two minutes still to go in an extraordinarily long game, when the ABC announced that, unfortunately, it was ending its coverage and that the game could be seen later on the station's iView.
The station went to its next program - Treks in the Wild World: Trekking in Austria.
Chris de Kretser & Daryl Timms in today's Herald Sun:
AFL rules bent to draft Jurrah
The persuasive power of former Collingwood player Rupert Betheras was instrumental in the AFL making an exception to its rules to enable Melbourne indigenous wizard Laim Jurrah to be drafted.
The revelation appears in a book on the Demon they call the Walpiri Warrior, which was launched by AFL chief Andrew Demetriou yesterday.
The Author Bruce Hearn Mackinnon, with whom Jurrah lived when he first came to the city and played four VFL games four Collingwood told how the AFL waived a couple of requirements for the 2009 pre-season draft.
[Jurrah] returned to Melbourne, but the Magpies, clearly mindful of the vast cultural distance Jurrah had to travel (Industrial Magpies supporters group member and Jurrah friend Bruce Hearn Mackinnon says Jurrah had never been in the ocean until a Collingwood recovery session), chose not to pursue him, and he did not even nominate for the national draft. Other clubs took a similarly risk-averse view, although he trained briefly with North Melbourne.
Former Collingwood grand final player Rupert Betheras intervened, lobbied the AFL and saw to it that Jurrah was permitted to nominate for the pre-season draft. While national draft nomination is normally mandatory for those picked in the pre-season draft, the AFL ruled that Jurrah had "exceptional circumstances" and admitted him.
All those players were selected with the first draft pick of that season's premier. For instance, Hawthorn won the flag in 1991 and selected Shane Crawford with their first pick in the 1991 (Insert sponsor:__________) National Draft.
Serious question: would a draftee be 98% happy to have been drafted by the flag holder. Would, and I am picking absolutely at random here, Adam Thompson have been chuffed to have been taken by Port with pick 11 in 2004? There is an outside chance he, like me, figured Port might have pinched the cup that year and the only way was down. True, he may have thought Port had the momentum to go further, but as Steve Coogan said in The Trip: "momentum is what you have when you go downhill." Port were good enough to make the grand final in 2007, you say. True. But that was an utter fluke, and in hindsight, Port probably wished they had dodged that bullet... howitzer shell.
Hawthorn in 1991. Like Melbourne in 1964, you could have be forgiven for thinking the Hawks had capped their dynasty with one last flag. And indeed, it took the Hawks another 17 modest years to win a flag. But Shane Crawford was good enough to last those 17 years to finally crown a pretty damn excellent career. If only it had taken the Demons a mere, microscopic 17 years to win their next flag. Sigh.
Or take Llane Spaanderman. To paraphrase Henny Youngman, take Llane Spaanderman, please. Taken by Brisbane with pick 18 in 2003, he have could certainly been forgiven for thinking a flag was a fair way off after the Lions had won the previous three premierships.
Adrian Burdon was taken by Carlton in 1995 at pick 61; presumably Carlton traded away their early picks. Burdon can hardly have expected to set the world on fire in the next couple of years, and in fact played no games for the Blues.
How many draftees, low level draftees in most cases, think they will be good enough to squeeze into a premiership side in their first season?
And yet, Ben Allan, Drew Banfield, Harry Taylor and Shane Crawford all played in premierships. Jason Gram, admittedly at another club, might have played in two. Jason McCartney was a fathead in the 1999 preliminary final, got suspended and missed North's premiership. Daniel Menzel and Alex Fasolo are both a chance to play in flags this year. As usual, I pose the questions, but have no idea what the answer might be. There may not even be an answer, conclusion or #FootyMaths extrapolation. Someone else can compare this list with the same season's wooden-spooner, I've got work to do.